Take peace in the knowledge that he is safe and healthy on his birthday. Your depression is that you can’t speak with him currently. familys have children fighting wars as we speak. going years without seeing thier own children on holidays birthdays and such. They look to the future and take comfort in what life has for them- not dwelling on what it can not provide. If you love him you will love him always. so always be ready for the day the pain subsides in her heart and opens the door for you again. each day that passes brings that day closer. so look ahead. be ready for that day. and try to make it possible by not antagonizing it . No matter how much it hurts. If she had no reason to wish you ill – she will see reason on her own. After all she couldnt have been close to you if she were crazy. so time will make her act rationally again. give it time . and be mature while she gets her act together. that would be an act of love. the best birthday present you can give .