Please help! Husband won’t allow me to take my Son to see my family?

10/03/2011 admin 5 comments

I need help… Here’s the story. I know it’s a little long but please read it.

My Mom left my brother and I when I was 13 (he was 15 1/2). She just up and left us. She said she had a mental breakdown and just couldn’t handle us anymore (we were very bad kids, raised by our abusive, alcoholic father. He just left us home alone most of the time so we were not well behaved and had zero structure when we went to live with her). My brother and I were separated because we had to go live with friends. I ended up in foster care. Long story short my brother lives in WA State and I ended up in Virginia. My Mom now lives in NY. I visited my brother 5 years ago that was the last time that I saw him. I’ve seen my Mom once when my son was born in 2009. It’s been over 10 years since we’ve all been together (since she left us). My Mom is very sick. She has pancreatitis very bad… she is 60 and we don’t believe she will live longer then 5 years. Money is tight for all of us (my Mom lives off of disability because she can’t work). My brother offered to fly her out to see him and his family. They really wanted me to come. They will not have the money to fly my Mom back over there and my Mom definitely won’t have the money to go there on her own ever. I believe this is the only oppurtunity for all 3 of us to be together again. My Mom and I have never met my brothers 2 kids and my brother has never met my son or husband. I feel like we can gain some type of closure to some things that happened by this trip and I think it’s something I need to go to. Here is the dilema. My husband is out of state for training for his job. He won’t be back until after my Mom leaves WA. My brother offered to pay half my ticket if I come but my husband said he doesn’t feel comfortable with me taking my son on his first trip a lone and that he wants to be there to experience his first big trip- it’s something he doesn’t want to miss. He’s also afraid there may be some type of drama since our family has had so many issues. My husband grew up in a very religious home and half the stuff my family did seems outrageous compared to his family so he doesn’t fully understand the situation and that it is not going to be bad at all. This is a good thing. I can go and leave my son… but my son is 5 months old and exclusively breastfed. I do NOT want to be away from him. I will not be away from him for that time (only 3 or 4 days but still). So I can not go… or leave my son with my in laws and go by myself. I feel like my husband is being selfish and I don’t agree with his reasoning. Please help on this situation…

QUESTIONS ABOUT SON'S ALCOHOLISM allow, family, Help, husband, please., take, won't

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Written by holidae, has a flutterbug! about 1 year ago.

My son is 5 months old and is breastfed and will hardly ever take a bottle, is your son like that? I just think it is too soon to be leaving him. The best thing would be to wait til your husband can go but if he can’t, then you should be able to go any way. I am sure there is some way to convince him.
Written by Parent about 1 year ago.

On one hand I see your side and would say go anyways. Then I remembered how some of my in laws are, it is actually dangerous to have my young kids around them, my wife would forget at times to watch, anything could have happened. Could there be any concern about that from your husband?
Written by awkwardly balanced about 1 year ago.

You husband is selfish, and I don’t agree with his reasoning either. Where will that get you? He sounds like he has the need to control. Do you have the need to be controlled? I can’t imagine being married to a person who would treat me as a child instead of a wife. He should trust your judgment – he married you, after all. You are not defective because of your past – to the contrary, you have lived through tons, and have come through stronger and wiser. Good luck to you and all the members of your family – may your husband’s past not hamper him from seeing the world through kinder and less judgmental eyes.
Written by cricketlady about 1 year ago.

He does not understand and being really very selfish. You NEED to go —take your son with you and go. He will just have to get over it as it is not all about him. Your mother is more than likely dying and this will be the BIG reunion for all of you—saying good-by—don’t wait until it’s too late.
I read your post and I understand. If he truly loves you he will understand—you must go–and take your son. Parents make mistakes in life and that is human.

with him spending all that extra time at this ex’s house I wouldn’t even have botherred him by asking. You certainly don’t need his permission–being he has that relationship with his ex.

You were not bad kids—drop that feeling and saying. You did the best you could have getting shafted as a family.
Written by Pearl L about 1 year ago.

youre an adult, just go and take your son with you, your husband shouldnt be so controlling anyways

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Please help! Husband won’t allow me to take my Son to see my family?

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