My son is 19 years old and a college freshman. He had been the pride and joy of my life for all these years. He wasn’t the best student, but was still far above average, and was involved in lots of extracurricular activities. He was well-respected and liked by teachers and classmates, and always made us proud. But just a few weeks ago, I learned that he had been hiding some VERY disturbing facts about himself for a long time.
He came home for Thanksgiving break about a two months ago. Just a few days after Thanksgiving Day, he was going out to meet up with a few high school friends. I trusted his judgment fully, and let him go. Then around 2:30 am I was woken by a phone call that shattered all my preexisting impressions about my son. I learned that he had been driving to a fast-food restaurant with a Blood Alcohol Level of 0.14, and was doing 75 in a 30 zone. Further tests revealed heroin and cocaine in his bloodstream. He was detained by the police when he had crashed headlong into another car. He was ok physically, but the 4 people in the car he hit were all severely injured, and two of them will be in a wheelchair for life. I thank God that none of them were killed.
I was absolutely devastated when I found out what had happened, but that was only the beginning. I desperately did not want to believe that my son had done something so terrible, so I later asked him what had happened. He was hysterical, and broke down. He admitted that he had been going behind my back throughout high school abusing drugs and alcohol, and that he had driven under the influence “dozens of times.” I demanded to know where he had gotten the money, and he admitted to me, crying, that he had spent years manipulating his buddy Travis, who is extremely intelligent but extremely naive and kindhearted. I was absolutely shocked. The two of them had been best friends for as long as I remember. They went to elementary school together, played on the basketball team together in 5th grade, and were in the same Sunday School classes. Ever since his sophomore year of high school, he had been persistently lying to his friend about “my father losing his job,” “my aunt having cancer and not being able to afford hospital bills,” “my parents can’t afford my tuition,” and many many more, in order to get the money to buy drugs and alcohol. All this time, Travis had no idea that he was being deceived, and when it finally came out, he was heartbroken and inconsolable.
My son has taken about 8 or 9 thousand dollars altogether. Travis’ father is the owner of an enormous company, and has a salary of 12.5 million, so it somewhat eases my conscience that they would not have struggled to make ends meet. But NOTHING excuses my son lying and stealing from his best friend for so long, and NOTHING excuses the four innocent lives that he so needlessly ruined.
I was so angry to learn this, I immediately told him that he has 10 minutes to pack whatever he can and I screamed at him to get out. I threw him into the streets (and several feet of snow) with little more than the clothes on his back, and said that I never wanted to see him again. He had no car, no cell phone, no computer, and I immediately closed down his bank account and destroyed every item and photograph in the house that reminded me of him. He was due to make several court appearances due to the DUI crash, but I refused to hire a lawyer and planned on letting him suffer the consequences. He was sentenced to 5 years. I have not seen or spoken to him ever since that day two months ago, and have no knowledge of his whereabouts.
The whole situation still boggles my mind, and I still cannot comprehend what exactly went wrong. We live in a good neighborhood, he went to a good high school, he comes from a loving and supportive family, and he was very well-liked and respected by his peers and teachers. I know that most of his friends do not use drugs, and his best friend Travis is as clean as a whistle. Honestly, he has everything a teen could ask for. No family problems, no financial problems, no academic or social problems. I have zero clue as to what might have motivated this behavior. He never offered any explanation, and was still trying to defend his actions by saying that “everyone does drugs and alcohol,” and “He could afford to give me that money.”
There is nothing I can do right now since he has started carrying out his sentence of 5 years. Everyone in our neighborhood knows what happened, and several teens have finally decided to come forward to enlighten me about his history of drugs and alcohol and lies and theft. But it’s been two months since that tragic day, and as a parent, I have to wonder if I was right to disinherit my child for such a reason. Did I do the right thing?
) i have a friend who is (or was? =P) a bartender. I’m a bit on the neurotic side. I’d give my god damn soul for just a glass of beer. I like to party and dance a lot!
