My son is homeless, an alcoholic, street smart, no identification, owns nothing, and hasn’t contacted a family member in 2 years. I found an arrest record 1 yr ago in Texas, got no help calling them, I have filed with a missing persons website…what else can I do?
He did not join a gang…he is 47 years old, not a young man or teenager. He is a loner, have no idea even what state he is in…he gets around. I had a PI look for him too…nothing.
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I don’t know what to make of this- why would she do this to her son?
My hubby comes from a family where alcoholism is rampant among several family members. At least two have died gruesome deaths (esophagus ruptured and relative bled to death- the MD said this was caused by heavy drinking that caused liver failure/tension on the esophagus….), hubby’s uncle is unable to work because his alcoholism is so bad, hubby’s aunt has cirhrosis of the liver from drinking and does not qualify for a liver transplant….
I think you get the picture as to what alcohol has done to his extended family members.
Hubby’s Mom does not drink on a regular basis- maybe a glass of wine for special occasions. Hubby’s dad drinks at least 4 beers (his drink of choice) a day (sometimes more). One time his Mom called my hubby in tears (we live 5 states away) because her husband (hubby’s dad) had gone out on a bender and was severely drunk and irrational when he came home. Hubby’s dad was unfairly accused of something at work which led to this drinking binge. Hubby and his Mom do not think hubby’s dad has a drinking problem because he is employed, doesn’t drink on the job, etc.
In other words, he doesn’t have a drinking problem/dependency like the other family members because he is functional.
When hubby and I were dating, his mom mentioned to me- more than once- that she and her husband were ‘relieved’ (her exact word) when hubby went off to college and started drinking , because they were afraid he would ‘never touch alcohol’ . He was a good kid in high school and didn’t drink. The way it was said to me made me think that his Mom thought he was somewhat ‘nerdy’ for not drinking in high school. Hubby’s Mom even made a point to tell the same thing to MY Mom at one point (my Mom was dumbfounded as to why hubby’s mom even told her this).
Throughout the first few years of our marriage, my hubby’s drinking began to escalate. He was drinking 6 or more (sometimes 8-10) beers every night at home. Even though we were financially strapped he continued to spend close to $75 a week on beer alone. He didn’t think it was a problem.
The stress of this along with other things caused severe strain on our marriage. I was about to leave him and drinking was one of the main factors. Hubby decided he ‘did not want to lose his wife and kids’ (his words) and decided to stop drinking. The week he decided to quit coincided with a visit he had planned to see his parents (I was 8 months pregnant at the time and couldn’t go).
Right before dinner he told his parents he had decided to quit drinking because he felt he had developed a problem. He didn’t mention anything about his Dad’s drinking because he still felt his Dad didn’t have a problem- he was only talking about himself and his decision to quit.
At the dinner table his Mom poured him a glass of wine and pushed in front of him and encouraged him to drink it. She said she didn’t think he had a problem with drinking and all he needed to do was just have a few drinks and then stop himself. Hubby said no, but she insisted.
I am having trouble understanding WHY a mother whose own sister and brother have debilitating drinking problems-which she herself has characterized as terrible- would encourage her son to drink when he has announced that he has a drinking problem and is quitting alcohol altogether.
Why would she do that? What do you make of what she did?
Years of fighting doctors that have him hooked, mood swings, depression, living in a fog, can’t focus, behavior problems that showed up when he started these chemicals at two years old – but it doesn’t “exist” and I’m a “bad parent”. It’s clearly stopping him from accomplishing what HE wants to do in life, the talents he has are not coming out as they should.
Yes, I’ve been all over the FDA website, was on this years ago regarding Singulair that they FINALLY acknowledged as a major problem in many adolescents, but he just gets shoved from one to another. I try to take him off, use food high in antioxidants & anti-inflamatories, lots of vitamin C, but I can’t keep up or control it nor influence him.
I need to find an experienced way that works. He can’t function without these meds now. Playing the trumpet & clearing lungs works, but he’s so fogged, with “A.D.D.” that comes out as O.D.D., so he resists any homeopathic or natural approach. Not a “controlling parent”, just very concerned as I watch this bright kid lose himself – he’s essentially a drug-addict with the help & blessings of pediatricians over the past 15 years, and I’m just a “dingbat”. But I have watched this correlation between behavior patterns and increased chemical usage for 15 years now, it’s so obvious to me but I cannot convince anyone else.
Tired of this pill factory this country has got us on – any tried & true suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Any direct messages to this young man would also be very helpful – my sole voice & efforts have diminishing returns – no good at this point – I’m a “nag”.
Don’t try to sell me anything. Looking for real people who have managed their symptoms or weaned themselves or a loved one off of this stuff.
Thanks much.
Thxs Aeriol- We’ve been thru specific allergies tests, no change in protocol.Asthma has never been acute enough to land him on a nebulizer, but only once 10 years ago.Clearing his lungs via exercise & trumpet works well, but sitting or laying down causes him to cough during allergy season especially.It strongly appears that his body has been relying on these chemicals for so long, that he does need to be re-trained.Switching doctors in July, we’ll see if we can’t get a different approach as you’ve suggested.For any parent with a young child with mild asthma, BE WARNED about this chemical cycle that many doctors put your kids on.There is more data to back up my “gut” feelings about this, I’m no genius, but somebody’s making a lot of money off of these meds & doctors go along with it.Took me 4+ years to get the FDA to support my concerns re: SIngulair & it cost my son, as he lived in a “cloud”, basically “stoned”. With the new “healthcare reform”,it’s only going to get worse. Thx.
my son’s father is a pathalogical liar and uses his children as pawns in his chess game of…getting attention from women, lying, cheating, etc. he’s has a serious selfish problem. he and i were together for six years and in those six years he subjected his children to at least 2 other women and their kids. Now he’s attempting to subject my son to his “new” girlfriend who he met in AA. she’s a pediatric nurse mother of three and a Narcotics Addict. the last girl he cheated on me with thought he lived alone and had this little old dog, for a year he lied to her and continuously took his three kids (one of them, my 3 yr old son) over to her house. While in wal-mart one day, his oldest son, Jamesy asked him, “Daddy, why do you lie to lizzy about where we are going? Daddy why do you live with lizzy when you are seeing Dawn” he told jamesy, “i promise james, i’ll quit cheating on lizzy” at the same time he was buying flowers and asked jamesy to give them to dawn so it looked less romantic and cuter. she bought it. she and i met when he finally checked into detox. Alcohol is just one outlet of his manic ways. he’s up right now and living in vegas “acting” like he’s a changed man. But he’s left two voicemails in the last week and i can tell he has been drinking again. he’s now got his new girlfriend harassing me over texts. i want him to have “supervised” visitation if any at all. right now his eldest son is in counseling at school. he’s 9. he has panic attacks over his dad. he loves his daddy but his daddy has asked him to lie and keep quiet about where they go etc. he’s tells a good lie. i’m afraid the mediator will give him unsupervised visitation when he comes to visit from vegas. we’re in illinois. what are the chances that i can prove he subjects his children to immoral situations. what do i have to do to get my ducks in a row to prove his judgement is impaired. do i need statements from past women, his ex-wife, his eldest son’s school counselor? right now it just looks like we’re all angry women. but i’m trying to protect my child from being hurt like his eldest brother is hurting. HELP.
I don’t live there but my sister is asking for my help regarding finding a drug rehab for her son. She has just recently found out that her son is taking heroin, and this really shook her up. I have to admit that I’m affected as well. My nephew is a straight A student, the kind of kid who has always been such a good boy. It was just really surprising for me to know this. This must be really tough on my sister, and that’s why I want to do whatever I can to help her. Any suggestions?
Hello.. this is all brand new to me.. i myself have never seen crack, let alone do it!
my boyfriend of near 7 months has begun to act VERYYYY weird last week… it ended for a lil while, by yesterday of all days! he started it up AGAIN!
what are the signs??? i am thinking he is doing it because before he was with me, he did it and quit cold turkey… during which time he wound up in jail for breaking into a house and stealing stuff…
well i’ve been with him for near 7 months now and i’ve NEVER seen him act the way he’s been acting yesterday/today/last week for a day or 2.
he has coughing fits and then spits up mucus, he cant sleep too well, when he is asleep, he is constantly twitching/tossing/turning.., he is paranoid (he actually went to his shrink a few days ago cuz he said he felt like everyone was out to get him),he looks pale to me, he talks with a stutter and like a weird way to his voice… like he is shaking when he talks, thats what i can best describe it as… also, he asks me the same questions 2 and 3 times within 5 minz of each other…. he is MEAN and telling me he likes other women, and might wanna break up with me, but when i tell him ok im going to pack my stuff and leave, he tells me “no no no, i dont want u to leave, i love u baby, i want u and u only, come here and shut up and kiss me… then he’ll say how he wants a family with me and my son and our own baby together 1 day… i dont get it!!!!
i had my sister pick me up for the night… i am at a lkoss of whats to come with him/what to do…. do u think he’ll come around and text/call me soon? is that how it works when ur doing crack???
someone PLZ inform me… i cant stop crying.. im a wreck… i just want a straight answer from me… weather or not he wants to end things or not… he still hasent told me for sure that we are done… he is toying with me and im going CRAZY!… also, when he first started acting weird, he was out with a few friends and i met up with him later that night and when i hugged him, he smelled like somnething burning, and like bug spray mixed in. i even asked if he was smokin crack, and he told me that i have his word that he’ll never do that again… but that smell was WEIRD! (the ppl he was hanging out with, the persons house they were at, she is a major crack head… i know her)
Not sure why this happends but when my son drinks hard alcohol (not beer) his side are cold to the touch and up to 2 days after he complains his sides are sore and painful. Does anyone know why.
Recently I have discovered my friend, (well she’s slowly becoming the non-friend) is a pot head. I dont smoke, drink, or use and shes always telling me to go to a meeting, what is that all about anyway? She thinks she has the right to tell people how to live their lives as far as their sobriety, because she is all high and mighty now and went to jr. college to be a drug rehab counselor. She smoke pot and then goes to AA meetings and talks about how long shes been sober, its really quite pathetic. I understand shes a fraud and a hippacrit. She actually believes its ok to have her non chalant attitude toward her smoking pot daily. She also is fighting for custody of her son, which I’m wondering if i should call the dept. of child services on her, out of my concern for her son. It would give a wake up call and then maybe she will put her life in perspective and climb down from her soapbox and preaching to everyone about how they should be working the program, what a joke. All i want is to get some ideas on how to deal with this person, because she’s sick and needs help and is in total denial, please advise.
so far i think both of these answers are so off the track, i cant choose either one as best answer.
She is a meth addict for over three years and has been enabled by my mother who has decided to put her hands in the air and give up. She says that my addict sister can just leave with her son. What! It is pure dysfunctional drama. But the loser is the little boy. My sister even asked him to pee for her for a drug test my mother was giving her. Should I butt in or stay out.
He has a court date next month,he posted $1,000.00 for his bail bond. So will he have to serve time?He said the amount he had was real small,what will he be charged for?
My son doesn’t have a job is living at home, I don’t pay his bills or buy his alcohol. I’ve told him he needs to get his self together or find some place else to live. Last night he told me he will be out of here in the morning I asked where he’s going says he doesn’t know. What am I to do??
I do tell my son that I will attend AA meetings with him. I also tell him I am always here to help and listen if and when he wants to talk.
My nephew is 15 months old and we are having a hearing later this month to terminate my brother and sister in laws rights (she is a drug addict and he is crazy). I have 3 children of my own 11,9 and 7 years old and she is pregnant again. I really want a girl but I go crazy with the 4 children I have now.not to mention the expense of raising 4 children Should I consider this unborn child or am I crazy?
He lives with her family. But she wont allow me to see him. I pay each week for him. And shes taking me to court. But she wont let me see him until its all over and done with. But since its 50/50 is it illegal for her not to let me see my son. I am not abusive or alcoholic or anything.
Any help would be appreciated
My son (23) is exceedingly thin for his height and body frame. He’s 6 ft tall and I think he’s got anorexic tendencies. Other family members are shocked by his appearance and he wears a beard which accentuates it more. I base my suspicion on a few things. One is the fact that even as a young child he was on the husky side, though always taller than most boys. As he grew in height he thinned out but sometimes he would say things like “I’m fat” and grab the skin around his belly between his fingers. I told him he was not fat and that everyone is made differently. I also told him if he wanted to build healthy muscle to use some light weights and add weight to them as his strength built. He wasn’t much interested in this so I didn’t push the idea. He was always active; rode bikes and loved the skateboard. He was never a big eater and while this didn’t bother me as much, what did was that I could not get him to eat fruits or vegetables unless I hid them in food or pleaded with him to eat them. Over one summer around age 16 he put on ALOT of weight by junking out and sitting in front of PC. It was noticeable to me because I had left for about 6 weeks to take care of an elderly family member in another state and when I got back he looked pretty unhealthy, not just the weight but he looked bloated and pale. I was a little shocked because he wasn’t a huge junk food eater either. In fact food never seemed to interest him all that much and much to my disappointment I could seldom get him to try new recipes. When he returned to school I think some comments were made about his weight gain and he lost over time though I didn’t see him doing any kind of perceivable diet but he did tell me he was trying to cut out the junk food. I sometimes wondered if he had intestinal problems. For eg. whether it was breakfast, lunch or dinner, he’d take 2 maybe 3 bites of a meal and kind of grab his stomach, groan and say, ‘my stomach hurts’ and that he couldn’t eat anymore. He’d also say his stomach hurt upon rising every single morning while getting ready for school. I thought maybe he had alot of social anxiety and it affected his appetite or made it too stressful for him to eat but this went on all the time and I knew he had plenty of friends. But there were alot of issues going on; he was getting in trouble in school and his behavior in general at home was very hard to handle. He moved out at 18 and his weight was around normal but looked unhealthy and I think he was doing alot of drinking and smoking MJ. Then around 19 he began looking thinner and each subsequent year he has progressively gotten thinner. He rides his bike long distances in the mountains with friends and he still complains about his stomach bothering him whenever we meet for dinner. At first I thought part of his weightloss was because he was on his own and couldn’t afford to eat better. During those years I gave him extra money for food, gas, whatever…but it has become clear that something is very wrong with with how he views himself. I don’t believe he is doing speed and have asked him straight out about that more than a couple of times. Not that I spend alot of time with him but his behavior is not that of a crack head – though his behavior in general has always been a challenge in other ways. I also don’t think he binge, purges, I just think he restricts his food and exercises too much. Lastly, I’ve always struggled with my own body image issues and have struggled with compulsive eating and weight most of my life. But when I was 18-21, I had anorexic tendencies where I would restrict my caloric intake and excessively exercise. I was very thin. Then I went the opposite way after getting pregnant with him. Though my son never saw my earlier struggles he knows how the food issues have affected my own life. I’m very afraid for my son. While I don’t think he throws up his food, he definitely restricts his intake of it. And exercises (bike rides) excessively. He’s sensitive if you say anything to him about it but because I understand what it felt like being thin and the “power” that went along with it I don’t want to say anything that gives him that same feeling; the sense of control and power an anorexic can feel when they KNOW they can control their food intake and nobody can force them to do otherwise. It isa false sense of control however. I just don’t know what to do and he’s so darn hard to communicate with. I would like to try to get him some help but can only afford to do so much. I am also checking online trying to find if there is any medical condition that might make a persons stomach hurt just after waking up or after taking just a few bites of food. I feel so bad for him. Our relationship has always been rocky. My husband any other relatives can’t seem to get him to take a hard look at himself either. I mean he seems to think he looks good and is in denial about how bad he looks and how dangerous it is to be this underweight. Any feed back based on wha
My sister is financially ruined. I know her daughter and her daughters husband, are hooked on drugs. Amber is always stealing her mothers debit card, writing checks on her. My sister just ignores it, she’s about to loose everything because of her. She doesn’t do anything about it, she thinks her daughter and son in law are the greatest things to walk the earth. For her to keep ignoring what they are doing to her, they have to be drugging her. What should I do, she won’t listen to anyone? Please, I need some advise.
Because of the Labour Party Nazional Heil-iday I was thrown off thinking today is Monday!
So I was text messaging my 14year old son every 10 minutes excerpts from the Rush Limbaugh biography collection I have, as I do every school day to counteract any bias he gets during class, when he texts back “ok teacher says I need to turn my phone off because the Barry Sadler ringtones you put on my phone are bothering the other kids, and the President’s speech is about to start”
and the words hit me like the paddleboard to my head during my Knights of the White Dawn initiation.
“pre-si-den-t’s sp-ee-ch” – the words were ringing againg just as loud as my ears after becoming a KoWD brother.
Stop signs and lights were my foe, but ignored during this time of severe crisis as I dipped below 50mph only to corner my 1964 SS.
I burst into the classroom door to the horror of seeing Darth Bama wrapping up his speech.
I grabbed my boy out of there asap- the teacher asked if anything was wrong as my son said the words “dad I want to better in school to help the country!”
I could barely hold down my eggs as I rushed him from the room.
The teacher asked if my boy needed to see the school nurse- “I screamed “no more commie indoctrination from you and your socialized healthcare!!”
he’s back at home now in his room on a regimen of recorded McCarthy hearings archives, drinking my secret blend of buck urine, otter rut and muskox cartilage extract as a detox
but on the way home he just kept saying that he would be interested in studying history, maybe even science!
I’m down to only 2 gallons of my ‘Deer Gold’ and that’s not including the amount I’ve been chugging in panic.
HELP!!!
WHAT C AN I do nOW!!
the son is 24, we put him in a faith based rehab because we don’t hve the $ to pay, my husband spend all his time worrying about his son that my daughter and I are left out of everything, it is like I am single again.
If and when his drug addicted son can actually handle the daily activities of human existence without smoking crack.
I have two teenagers who I am scared to death of them falling in to the sex, drugs, and alcohol consuming culture. Most of all gangs and the like. I have told the kids about the dangers of all three areas, but am I doing enough? I try to lead by example, but is that still enough? Please advise.
hello everybody!
please correct my english…!! i need your help
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i am fine just sleepy, though. thank you for asking.
i am glad you are agree to my opinions.
waking up early and learning were bother me when i was a student.
how far is your house to your schools?
my kindergarten, elementary school, junior high school are near from my house except high school.
i have to go onto the train to go there. it takes about 40 min by train.
yes i will think twice before i do something.
thank you for giving me nice advice ^^
so you currently live with your family. do your siblings live with your family too?
as i told you i have a brother.
my family has onw house, apartment, and office for rent.
my brother will get all. because he is the oldest and only one boy. is it the same in hongkong?
i know swiss people (or maybe europeans) do not give their houses to their children.
people buy houses by themself.
so you dont talk to your parents often. i do not think it is because you are not a good son.
my brother does not talk to my family, and i talk to my family a lot, every day.
but he is a really good kid.
i still only the kid who is scolded by my family.
i am not busy so it is really no problem. i like to help you ^^
oh, you met your friends this evening.
aa, i can understand how you feel very much.
do you like to meet people?
basically i like to meet people but sometimes i feel very tired to meet people.
speaking of meeting people
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thank you very much for your help!!
