Im 27weeks preg &already stressing bout having mom in delivery room &/or at home 1st week babys here bc of her drinking. Mom drinks early as10am &doens’t stop til she goes 2sleep(wen shes not working)drinking makes her lazy &ofcourse VERY unhelpful. I do believe shes alcoholic &have told her many times. She says when she comes here shes on Vacation. We live 700miles apart so technically she is,But it still upsets me vry much.
I have a 3 year old &1 on the way.I have told her that I don’t want her drinking or drunk early in the morning, incase I go into labor early &she needs to watch my 3yr old. I told her I cant have her watch him if shes drunk(this is a time I need her 2really help me out) she says she can have a few beers& that Im being selfish. I want my mom here for my delivery &baby but dnt know wat 2do? Should I just suck it up since its only for 1week cause I really love my mom &want her here. Its not that Im against drinking jus that its not appropriate during this time.
And Yes, my childrens father is involved. I am married 
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Written by Horsense about 2 years ago.
Drug Abuse–There Is a Solution! :
~ Who Takes Them?
~ Why DO People Abuse Them?
~ There IS a Solution to Drug Abuse
http://watchtower.org/library/g/2001/7/8/article_01.htmThe Drinking Trap–Are You at Risk? :
– Alcohol Misuse–A Social Catastrophe
– Alcohol Misuse and Health
– Breaking the Chains of Alcohol Abuse
http://watchtower.org/library/g/2005/10/8/article_01.htmWhat’s Wrong With Binge Drinking?
– The Dangers
– Tragic Statistics
– The Pressure to Drink
– What Choice Wil You Make?
http://watchtower.org/e/20040922a/article_01.htmProtect Your Children!
– Your Child Is in Danger!
– How Can We Protect Our Children?
– Prevention in the Home
– Common Misconceptions
– If Your Child Is Abused
http://watchtower.org/library/g/1993/10/8a/article_01.htmThe UN Declaration of the Rights of the Child
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2000/12/8/diagram_01.htmHow would you feel if something happened to your son while she was left to watch him? Under the circumstances, would you not be as responsible as her?
The way you describe the situation, it sounds like she needs someone to watch Her.
Right and Wrong How Should You Decide?
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2004/12/1/article_02.htm -
Written by ♥Pamela♥ about 2 years ago.
No, you shouldn’t ‘suck it up and ignore it’…you are going to need her to be alert and able to help at the drop of a hat. Say you have a ‘no alcohol’ policy in your home and you would appreciate it if she stuck to your rules…like you had to stick to hers growing up.
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Written by Hope E about 2 years ago.
That’s tough… I personally think you should tell her that she is the one being selfish this is your and your babies time to be in the spot light. Maybe you can compromise if you really need her that much. Ask her not to drink anything while you are in labor and then ask her to wait to drink until the kids are asleep and to do it in good moderation. Good luck, hope everything works out for you.
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Written by Gala about 2 years ago.
You’re right: the drinking not appropriate, and it’s dangerous for you and your three-year-old. Could you arrange to have someone else watch your child? Or could she visit a week or so after the birth? I appreciate that you love your mom and that you want to include her in this family time, but if there’s not a dad to help, you may want to make some other arrangements.
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Written by tech_girl about 2 years ago.
Tell her you love her and would love to have her help, but you need her to not drink while she is there. You have the right to set the rules. My mom is the same, and I’ve learned over the years she isn’t going to stop drinking just because I think she should. You have a responsibility to yourself and your children to keep you all safe, and leaving a 3 year old with someone you can’t trust to stay sober isn’t a good choice. Be brutally honest with her – sometimes it manages to get through… it is really hard to say something like that to your mom, but you need to do what is best for all of you. Best of luck to you.
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Written by moni j about 2 years ago.
No, you shouldn’t suck it up and ignore it…you are going to need her to be alert. You need to tell your mother you don’t want her their if all she’s going to do is get drunk and be very unhelpful…especially in your situation.
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Written by Lil Mama about 2 years ago.
Hun get her away…..you should find a new sitter. Because …any momment when you’re ready for labour and she’s the only source…there’s no posiive outcome with that. SO find a new babysitter. Plus you should try a talk to her about it…because one it isnt good for her health and plus the fact she’s watching your son. SO find some other alternatives.
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Written by InAMoment about 2 years ago.
First of all, big hugs to you. I’ve dealt with something very similar with my own mother, so I do understand what you’re going through.
The bottom line is this – it’s YOUR home, they are YOUR children, and if she is unable (or unwilling) to follow the guidelines of what is acceptable in your home then she’s not the go-to person that you need in your home when you’re going do be giving birth.
However, better to know now that she’s not going to be respectful of your wishes than when it’s too late.
Here’s what I did and while it wasn’t optimal in terms of my mother not complaining, it did relieve my mind tremendously.
Find someone else who is responsible to care for your 3 year old.This could be a close friend, another relative, someone from church or a trusted babysitter. It’s best if you find someone who will keep your 3 year old in THEIR home rather than your own.
Next, you or your significant other (it’s best if you can do it together) and tell your mother, “Mom, we know how much your being able to drink and relax while on vacation is important to you. You know how strongly we feel about no drinking in the house with the new baby and in front of *3 year old’s name*. So, we talked about it and we’re willing to help you find a motel for you to stay in so that you can have your drinks when you’d like to. But, if you change your mind about the drinking and want to stay here with us and the kids, we’d love to have you.”
And then don’t cave. If she’s anything like my mother she’ll try to guilt trip you, but don’t take the bait. When she complains just calmly say, “Okay mom, so would you like the motel room or stay here? This is entirely up to you.” and refuse to engage with her about anything else.
If you find yourself getting too upset just find an excuse to get off the phone suddenly and then hang up. And don’t answer the phone again until you’ve had some time to calm down.
Best of luck to you. I’ll keep you in my thoughts – I know how difficult it is to deal in times like this.
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Written by Ky_Lotus about 2 years ago.
Well, i know shes ur mom and u love her, but SHE is the one who is being selfish.
I would plainly tell her, No Alcohol Around My Kids. Period.
If she cannot respect your decision, then she needs to stay home.
U cannot trust her to watch your 3 year old if she is drinking. Social services would take your child if u left it in the care of her while drinking and something happened (God forbid).
She is an alcoholic or she wouldnt have a problem with respecting your request. THe simple fact she blamed u for being selfish was the ultimate in alcoholism…..they dont see that they are wrong in any way. Its truly sad.
But, the main thing is that u cannot trust her. She is not willing to respect your wishes, so therefore, she will miss out.
Its not too much to ask from her.
I would set something else up for the care of your 3 year old. Perhaps a friend or neighbor.
Take care,,,,,best of luck. -
Written by dancinqueenkerriku about 2 years ago.
Your mom is the one being selfish in this situation! You have every right to want your child to be in a safe SOBER situation! Do not suck it up, if your mom can’t stop drinking for a week while she is around her grandchildren than I would tell her not to bother coming at all! You do not need to be stressed about something like that, you have enough on your plate right now! I really hope that you have a good friend that can help you out after your baby is born! Best of Luck and Congratulations on your pregnancy.
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Written by Becca G about 2 years ago.
No you shouldn’t just suck it up! Take out all the alcohol out of the house, and if you have to, sneak in her purse and take her ID away. (most places are required to card no matter how old a person looks). Tell her as soon as she gets there, and be stern say “Mom there is NO drinking in my home, and there is NO coming home drunk.” Tell her so what if she is on vacation, she is there for you and your child and soon to be newborn. And if she drinks, I’m but get her a hotel room then. That is no appropriate. What if she needs to be the one to drive you to the hospital? What if she needs to watch your son and he walks out the door? What if there’s an emergency with your son?? Tell her, and make sure she understands and follows through. Good luck
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Written by Pandora about 2 years ago.
No offence, your mother is an idiot. I’m sure you have a girlfriend who can watch the other kids while you are in labor (or someone from your husbands side)
You’re mother is endagering your kids, even if it is “Just a few beers” she is still impaired. So, you tell her “If you can’t stop drinking, or won’t stop around your gradnkids, you are NOT welcome to see them. The ticket to their lives is having a sober grandmother.” And you stick with that. If she wants to tell you how selfish you are, tell her, “In your eyes, I might be selfish, but I don’t want my kids around a lush. If you won’t give up your vice, then I’m sorry.”
We all back you up hunny, And I know that being preggers is hard on the ole heartstrings, but she is a danger to your kids, and an even BIGGER danger to your precious newborn.
If she wants to pout and pisss and moan, then let her. She’s made her own bed, now she has to lay in it.
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Written by sweettnpea about 2 years ago.
You should talk to your mom and tell her she is not allowed to visit you as long as she is drinking especially if she drinks as early in the morning as she does. My mother in law smokes and she gets upset because I don’t let her smoke in my house and I tell her that it is my health and I don’t want to have that terrible stuff around me. I have no problem telling her that. My mom also smokes and I refuse to even go to her house if she smokes around me. I would feel the same way if they were drinkers like your mom is. You and your husband have to protect your children. You are all they have. If you go in labor and you have to leave him with your drinking mom, what would happen if she decided to put your son in the car with her and she wrecks and they both die because she was drinking or if she falls asleep at the house and she doesnt watch your son and he gets hurt? I would stand up to her because sometimes people who drink/smoke need someone to wake them up.
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