Ok, so a couple a months ago (Sept) my aunt (who is not actually my blood relative but is my aunt by marriage sister) who originally lived in Fla lost her job. At the time she was seeing a man here in NY and upon losing her job, he told her that she could move with him. I dont know all the circumstances behind it because its a little unclear, but basically she left her apt and hopped on a plane and came here. Well when she got to the airport (I dont think he knew she was coming to be honest) he met her and told her that it wasnt going to work and that he was seeing someone else. Ok…1st…Jilted and Screwed.

In a panic, she called my Mom and my Mom is not the kinda person that likes or appreciates other ppl’s drama, but my mom agreed that since she was stranded she could come to her house temporarily til she figured out her mess. She stayed with my Mom for a week and my Mom bought her a ticket back to Fla and my aunt made arrangements to stay with a friend till she got on her feet.

Well, she really didnt want to return to Fla and figured she would do better finding a job and transportation here in NY and I told her that she could come and stay with me, but she needed to go back to Fla, apply for unemployment, settle her affairs and then return.

Well a week later, I hadnt heard from her ONE time until she called me one saturday and said that she was on a train from Fla to NY and that she couldnt stay with her friend because her friend was crazy and she had to get outta there….Great

So she’s here. Here’s my situation:
I am a newlywed, I have 2 sons of my own, my husband has 2 girls and even though we have enough room for her because we have a big house, she’s been here now 2 months with no serious job prospects (although she is furiously looking and has over 25 yrs experience in the legal field) she has no money and she has a drinking problem- we found this out because of empty liquor bottles and she went on a binge. I confronted her and she agreed to go to meetings, but its becoming too much and my husband’s getting aggravated.

She does her best to stay out of the house during the day looking for a job and spending her time at the library, and she’s the perfect house guest as far as cleanliness, but she has not contributed and runs the electricity in her room and eats for free.

I really need her to go, but I know she has no where. She does have a daughter in New Zealand who wants her to come out there, but I dont know if she wants to do that. Its driving me crazy and soon my marriage will be in shambles. We cant make love because she’s down the hall and were drifting apart. I dont have the means to help her financially, so giving her money is not an option.

Someone please give me some advice on what to do and its sensitive because I dont want to hurt her feelings. She’s bee through so much, Also, my aunt is 58, but she acts totally helpless and melodramatic.

Oh another thing, the jerk who screwed her over, is an atty with lots of money and promised to give her some seed money to start over. So far he’s only given her 300$ and she blew most of that on wine.
Sorry…I had to add one more thing. She’s staying in my sons room because it has cable and its more comfortable, but my son doesnt want to come here on the weekends, because he has to sleep on the couch and he says he wants his room back. He’s 11 so he’s kinda ‘at that age’
So many wonderful answers!!! Thank you all sooo much- Exactly what I needed to hear. I will be giving 10 BIG points to the best answer…it will be hard because all of your answers are intelligent and logical.