my step son is out of control 12 years old, help?

15/08/2010 admin 7 comments

He lies, fights, is very bad in school, he screams at me and my girls. His mom is on drugs and dont want him, he was living with his memaw for like 4 years, she could not handle him so we got him like a year ago and he is just awful. he said that his mom told him to give me hell and I ask him y he listens to her and he said what and i suppose to do not listen to my mom. , he is old enough to make his own decision, he always has an excuse for everything and is always blamin it on the other person, like when he got caught stealing at a sex store, he said that his friend put it in his pocket, he is very over weight, he weighs 165 pounds and is just turning 12, he is almost 5 feet tall.he cries if i limit his food punches walls, slams doors and tells me you havent seen nothin yet. he caught my cat in its mouth with a fish hook after i told him to stop b4 the cat gets the hook so it got stuck in tiggers mouth he kicks our dogs around and says it was an accident.what if he lies on me, Jail
His is gone most of the time working, I tell him what has happened when he gets home everyday, instead of hi honey, how was your day, I have to always be upset and tell him what his son done wrong, I wont whip him nor his dad will whip him, he just usually grounds him and I hate for him to do that to him cause he needs to get out and exercise b4 he dies from being over weight. his dad says give him all the food he wants he is a growing boy so i dont know what to do, i hate see his dad whip him too. we just need advice,
I think he does have ADHD. He has all the symptons and he heard us over talking about it and now when he gets in trouble he blames it on having ADHD. If he goes and gets counciling which I am looking into then I am afraid that he will lie on me or his dad and get my kids taking away and me or both of us put in jail. He has already threated it to me when he caught the cat with the hook, I told him to pick the knife up that his dad had to cut the fishing string from the hook that was in the cats mouth. He said no so i said pick it up he said no i said if yo dont i am going to whip you you he said yeah and when you do i am going to put u in jail, so he did not pick it up so i smacked him on his butt and he said i am calling the police and your going to jail so i came home and handed him the phone and he said if you punch me again i will call them i didnt even punch him. He said hookin the cat was an accident and his dad believed him and he did not get into any truble
anytime he gets in trouble he says that is all my mom did so I get that from her like its heritary or something, Or he says my cousin i used to live with lied alot so i picked it up from him

DRUG REHABILITATION control, Help, step, years

Comments

Written by Replace about 1 year ago.

What is his father’s position on all this?

You ned to convince him to make son a ward of the state. Otherwise, consider leaving. You have other children and pet to consider.
Written by godiva about 1 year ago.

Get him some counseling if he wont’ go for that let his actions bring him the results that it is suppose to. I f he gets caught stealing, let him go to court. if he gets in trouble because of his attitude, let him face the punishment< sounds like right now he gets no punishment for his actions because he breaks things or hits things. let the law handle him. it will hopefully force him into a teen center where he has to get help for his behavior. or go to mental health in your community and talk to them about his behavior. He may be ADHD or Bi-polar…….you can’t tell but they can. it sounds like he has a disorder called drfiant disorder. There they have medicine which will curb his behavior. If he is mentally ill… he can’t help but act this way without medication. get him checked out mentally.
Written by Pancakes666 about 1 year ago.

He seems like an Eric Cartman type of a kid. I would call the cops the next time he punches or harrasses one of your pets or hits you. Prison will teach him a lesson.
Written by James Watkin about 1 year ago.

Well, considering he is displaying signs of violence and may very well end up a serial killer, you need to choose between your children and him. What are you going to tell your girls when he injures or rapes one of them. He already is going in sex stores, so he thinks about sex. He is already cruel to animals, so he will move on to the girls next. I think you either have to leave the home with your children and stay with a relative until dad gets him through some therapy and you all go to family therapy or you and dad need to send him to boot camp and a behavior therapy center.

And you need to stop the bs. You are blaming this on mom but his dad failed him too. His dad should have stepped up a long time ago.
Written by lisa b about 1 year ago.

You didn’t mention what sort of consequences he has suffered for his actions.
First you need to establish control in your household. If this child sees that you are afraid of him, and not really going to do anything he will continue to dominate the house.
mean what you say, don’t make threats that you aren’t going to keep. Rules need to be gives, and in his case he needs lots of rules. Once he has proven that he is obeying the rule, than he would start to have more privileges. Monitor his friends and where he goes. As much as kids fuss about rules and regulations, deep down they appreciate it, because it shows that someone cares.
It sounds like he (along with you & his dad) needs some counseling. This child has some hurt and anger and it probably centers around his mom’s drug problem and her not wanting him. Also it can’t be that easy being that big at his age. Boys don’t display their hurt and pain the same ways girls do. Boys usually have reckless behavior and this is their way of crying out for help.
Ask yourself, if this was one of your girls that was acting this way, how would you handle the problem? Also you and his dad are NOT on the same page, and until that happens you are fighting a tough battle by youself and this child sees this.
If your husband feels it’s alright for him to eat as much as he wants, make sure to load him up with fruits and vegatables. Better yet schedule a doctor’s appt for your son, and have the doctor tell your husband how his son’s eating habits are going to have serious affect’s on his health.
Even if he does have ADHD don’t let that become an excuse for his behavior.
If his behavior is ever life threaten to you, show him that you aren’t scare to call the police on him. You are leaving in fear because he has threaten to lie on you. He is playing on that fear. They aren’t just going to walk in your house and take your children based on his word. Hopefully if he ever did that they would see he needs help and take him away.
It’s going to take some hard work, but I know from experience that it’s not a hopeless case. Don’t give up before you get him the help he needs, that may include in patient treatment.
Just remember that you are the parent, that you set the rules, and don’t show fear.
Written by cutiepie81289 about 1 year ago.

Get him into therapy he needs help
Written by Beth H about 1 year ago.

i agreethat he needs professional help. You have other children in the family that you need to protect. I would definetely do something now before he becomes a teenager.

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my step son is out of control 12 years old, help?

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