he has no idea now but im sure he will wonder who is real mother is later. how do i telll him and should i keep pictures of her and his sister to let him know where his genes come from?
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Written by Supernatural about 2 years ago.
You should definitely tell him before he finds out for himself. If he does find out for himself he won’t want to hear you. So do so him the pictures and tell him everything honestly and answer all his questions too. But with the truth and try not to leave anything out either.
Good luck.
p.s. if you wait to long and think about it to much you might lose him. Or it could cause a lot more pain than it should.
Hope that it helps make your decision.
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Written by pllbrn about 2 years ago.
Yes and yes. I am a former addict and know the dilemma you are in. But one thing is certain, your son will eventually ask the questions you dread most. The only way to deal with this is to be prepared and honest with him. Stress that you are sure his mother loved him in her own way but just didn’t know how to love him and that we all make mistakes. Also if you have forgiven her then explain to him how and why you did this and encourage him to do the same. Stress that you love him and only want what is best for him. Where is his sister, can you get her legally too. It would be great for them to grow up together but that would depend on your situation.
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Written by Lily about 2 years ago.
When he is old enough to ask questions you tell the truth in terms he can understand without being overly truthful, instead of, your moms a crack whore, you say, your mom has an illness that causes her to do unhealthy things to her body and she couldn’t take care of you anymore. She loved you but the illness made her do things she shouldn’t do and it was sad. No don’t put the pictures out, but if he ask about them, show them to him then. Never ever talk badly about her. He will form his own opinion as he should. Take care and thank you for saving him.
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Written by April about 2 years ago.
I agree with Supernatural. I also believe that you should explain that just because a person gives birth it doesn’t always make them a good parent. Some people don’t know how to love or to parent. Drugs are also very powerful & change people. Addicts don’t want or need anything but their drugs. If he has trouble understanding or dealing with this I know there are group for children of alcoholics. There may be the same for other addictions. Remind him that you love him, & feel that honesty is very important. He might ask you why you didn’t help his mom & sister. You’ll want to be prepared to answer that. I wish you the best.
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Written by Truth Sets You Free about 2 years ago.
If he is at the age where he can understand a few things, speak to him now..
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Written by Antonio about 2 years ago.
You should NEVER tell your kid anything bad about his parent, he will reflect it against himself and think of himself as bad. Just tell him that his mother and you agreed that YOU was best suited to raise him, and hope he never finds out any different. I would keep the pictures put away and once he is old enough and asks then show him.
EDIT*** HOW is it going the help/benefit your son to know his mother was a crack head? How is it going to help/benefit him to be told that his mother chose drugs over him?
It won’t! This will only make him feel bad. You sound like a man who cares about his son and would not want his son to be hurt so spare him the hurt of knowing his mother did anything bad. IF she continues down the same path as he growns up, then he will learn on his own what type woman she is.. One of the most loving things you can do for your kid is to help him grown up confident and with as little hurt as possible.
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