My son’s friend who is a bully when other kids are around..how to handle? I’m a p****** mom!?

08/04/2011 admin 8 comments

My son has a friend C they play well together when their alone but when C has another friend over & my son goes to play C teases, ignores, hits and is just mean. It really hurts and angers me as a mother. My son comes in upset. His parents think C does no wrong and says “let them work it out” ya, their kid isn’t being bullied! That’s why bullies get away with stuff; the parents are alcoholics anyway; don’t want to be bothered. They’re are neighbors and casual friends to so it gets sticky but I want to go off on C next time and say “don’t ask my kid to play if you have another friend over and are going to be a bully or be mean” or I won’t let him play with you at all! Example: Today C ask my son to come outside and play Pickle; my son goes outside and they run over to the trampoline and my son said what about Pickle and they ignored him and then C said your not my friend and they laugh at my son. I know C does this on purpose. I am really mad!
When I say casual friends with the parents I mean in past have had BBQs etc. but that has literally disappeared. We avoid doing anything with them. They are not mean to their kids; they spoil them and the kid is adopted (he doesn’t know) so I think he naturally has issues. I supported my son; told him it wasn’t his fault but C’s and that he wasn’t being a friend and that I would deal with it; next time he won’t go outside. I do encourage other friends as well. Thanks to all the answers.

QUESTIONS ABOUT SON'S ALCOHOLISM around..how, bully, friend, handle, kids, p******, sons

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Written by tweedropjes about 1 year ago.

Relax. You are putting up with way too much.

Talk to your son about it. Then turn down play dates if there’s another kid involved. You don’t have to engage the other parents at all.

Stop being casual friends with alcoholics. You shouldn’t let your son be without you in their house, anyway. Try saying “I would prefer they play here.”
Written by doc_biznitch about 1 year ago.

If you will not be your child’s advocate, who will? C is physically and emotionally violent and will only get worse as time goes on without parental intervention (that seems unlikely to happen). Have your child say “NO” to C one more time if he does something inappropriate. If C continues to act as he has been then you should forbid your child to have contact with C until he learns how to act appropriately. What is more important your status with the neighbors or your child’s health and well being? Kids will be kids is great until a bully ends up killing one or damaging them psychologically for life.
Written by vle045 about 1 year ago.

I would tell my son that this other kid is not his friend because friends don’t treat each other that way. I would also tell him that he deserves friends who ALWAYS treat him nice. And explain to him that he sould not play with the bully. Tell him you can take him over to one of his real friend’s house, or offer to sign up for an activity where he can meet new friends.
Written by mitchell about 1 year ago.

Have a talk with C if his parents don’t listen. A little girl across the street from us did the same thing to my daughter, and my complaints to her mother fell on deaf ears. If you see them playing outside together, and C starts bullying anyone, even if it is not your child, go over to him, have a discussion with him about why what he is doing is inappropriate, how it would make him feel and if it continues, that you will no longer allow your child to be his friend. My daughter and her “friend” still get into little arguements now and then, but it is nothing compared to the torment she put my child through before our little chats.
Written by MaY about 1 year ago.

Take a deep breath and calm down, you are so very right to be angry, any mother would. Your child doesn’t need to be around this “C’s” parents or C himself. Explain that he is better than having to put up with that sort of “friend” and in fact that, that is NO friend at all. A good opportunity to explain what a true friend is.
Written by Shannon C about 1 year ago.

UGH! It really stinks when your neighborhood kids are mean. We had a similar problem and I had to quietly “break up” with the parents of the kid and cut my son off from the kid. I started slowly- I made a red sign that says “STOP” on it- I told the mom and the kid that when the sign is on my door, my son is not available to play- the sign was up only a little at first but I started putting it up anytime I heard the other kid outside. This worked really well- it allowed me to control the contact between my son and the other kid a little better. I also NEVER let my son play with the other kid with out parental supervision (from me, not the other mom)- it was over the top but I needed to protect my son. If the bully said my son was not his friend or did anything else mean, we left and I did something special with my son (so he was not being punished for the other kid’s rotten behavior). Eventually, the other kid got tired of all of my rules and stopped wanting to play with my son and the problem took care of itself.
Written by j.c. about 1 year ago.

ur son needs to decide if he wants to play with this kid or not. let him know it’s ok if he doesn’t want to, and if still does, understand why he still does so u can help him find ways to deal with this kid. remember, if u completely pull him away without him understanding why, he won’t know how to handle the situation if ur not around. c’s parents are kind of right, the thing is, u teach ur kids how to behave and u expect other parents to do the same, fully knowing there will be other parents who do nothing to teach their child right from wrong. therefore, u need to teach ur child how to handle those situations. so u -can- “let them work it out” also u can teach ur kid how to pick and choose friends who are worth being friends with. u can also tell c’s parents how u feel and tell them if they don’t do something about it u will stop letting them play together b/c u don’t want that kind of influence on ur child. u don’t want ur kid to think bullying is ok or funny. u want him to know that u treat people with respect and try to have fun with everybody. also tell ur child this and make sure he understands why u don’t want him and c hanging out together.
Written by RUEINS about 1 year ago.

your best bet is to first off tell your son its not his fault that this kid is acting the way he is second being the mother you have the right to keep certain children that seem like bad influences away from your child third if the parents are alcholics then you definitly should keep your child away from these peoples child god only knows how they treat their kid to make him act this way ive always believed if a child acts in this manner its due to abuse or something of that nature so i would suggest you remove your own child before this other kid strts to hit and not just act mean anyways this is just my opion i hope it helps in some way

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My son’s friend who is a bully when other kids are around..how to handle? I’m a p****** mom!?

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