My sons fathers side of that family.. what would you do if you where in my shoes?

29/03/2011 admin 7 comments

Can you do me a favor and answer all 3 question so i can have some in site on my situation…

1. Sons fathers a loser in prison for 6-30 yrs… but his parents on the other hand are druggies and all of his sisters are druggies… There house is nasty n they are very rude to me n my son…. I decided i wont go there no more because of how they live n the drugs they do… they do, weed, cocaine, and the parents are pill poppers as well as shooting dope… am i wrong for not going there??

2. Ive gone there several times and they NEVER call me nor do they ever come in visit me… and i was upset about that.. i believe its a two way street and they should come to my house sometimes as welll….. but they never do… every time i talk to them i say you are more than welcome to come anytime just call n let me know… never get a call…. well today the sister that lives with the parents is 24 she text messaged me today saying i was talking smack about her brother and for me to quit running my mouth… i said im not… someone asked if he ever hit my son n i said yes he did because he did…. then she text me n says whatever b**ch take care of my brothers son, if you can even handle being a mother… WOULDN’T THAT PISS YOU OFF???? Then on top of that she says when my son gets older she will tell him how im a liar and im fake n that I wont let them see him… That is so not true they need to make a initiative to come see him too, its not going to be me all the time…. If i had a grandson n wanted to see him id come over everyday if i could…. whats your take on this???? what would you do?? Am i wrong for not wanting my son to have to deal with there petty a$$ crap? I mean i never want to go over there again… Im not saying they cant come here but i wont go there.. is that wrong of me??

What would you do if this was you and your son in my situation?? I mean im 28 years old n i hate childish ppl…. and drama n they are all about drama and bad mouthing ppl… I wont allow them to bad mouth me to my son when he gets older???

What would you do…

3. What would you tell your son when he ask why we don’t go see them? would you be honest n tell him because they are druggies n the same reason they don’t come see you??

Im so freaking streessssed about this my anxiety is killing me… HELP ME PLZ

My son is my world and my parents will vogue for that.. as for her saying that shes doubts my ability to be a mother to him really hurts…
I appreciate all the insite ladies.. Keep em coming.. Id like to hear more…

Oh and i forgot to say my son is 2 and he don’t even know who they are they have not seen him in a yr…

SON'S DRUG ABUSE QUESTIONS family, fathers, shoes, side, sons, would

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Written by animefan about 1 year ago.

first off, ignore them.

Second, tell him the truth when he is older to why that was…. remember actions speak louder then words..
Written by Live and Learn about 1 year ago.

It’s not wrong for you to not go there.
Raise your son the best you can. If they want to clean up their act that’s different, but as things are…you are doing the right thing.
If your son asks why you aren’t going there, tell him they are sick. When he is old enough tell him the whole story. Drug addiction is a type of sickness, you won’t be lying to him.
As far as the sister goes……block her number and only deal with the parents. You don’t owe her anything and you shouldn’t let a drug addicts opinion get to you.
Written by Mommy of 5 about 1 year ago.

1. No you are not wrong. You are very much right.

2. Save her texts, don’t respond, and if she doesn’t stop get a restraining order. And you are right do not be the only one to “push” for the relationship. If they want a relationship with your son the road goes right to your house as far as it goes to theirs. If they don’t like it tough snickers. It is not your job to provide the relationship by your self.

3. In my opinion do not tell him the 100% gods honest truth if he is really young 9 and under. Why? Because eventually he might get to see them again and if he says the reason behind him not going is what you have mentioned all they have to say is “we don’t do those things” and if he doesn’t see them do it, it would your word against theirs, but him not seeing makes YOU look like a liar. If he is young keep it simple. “They are not in the right place right now to have a child in their care.” It’s not a lie.

If he is older 12+ I would tell him straight up, and the reason why he shouldn’t go. My daughter was apart of a drug bust (very long story and not at my house) and I would never wish that upon another child.
Written by stafii about 1 year ago.

Look ppl like that you do not need around your kid she can tell him what she wants he willsee who’s been there for him don’t tell him they are druggies until he is older
Written by mummydearest about 1 year ago.

firstly chick you’re not wrong AT ALL for not wanting to go there and for not wanting your son not to be there either.you’re not being a bad parent by trying to protect our child from ppl like them.i mean the environment they live in is no place for a child.

i also agree with you when you say that they can also make an attempt to come and see their grandson…most grandparents would love to see their grandchild at any cost and as often as possible.and dont worry about them instigating the child because a mother have all rights,especially if the father is a druggie.

and as much i would want to tell my child about his fathers family using drugs,i’ll wait till he’s old enough to understand the whole situation.children now are intelligent so i might explain everything to my child when he’s about 8-9 yrs…

try not to stress toooooo much over the matter.good luck in your decision
Written by Stevie H about 1 year ago.

1. You are completely right! But first off knowing that they do drugs…You and your son shouldn’t have been there no matter what! (I’m not judging and im not trying to be mean) If I were you I definitly wouldn’t go back if they were rude to my son and I. You never know when they are drugged up enough to hurt you or you’re son.

( Everytime you step foot inside that house remind youself that there is drugs in that house. If the cops were to show up at any moment, since you are there you will be chared with whatever they find cocaine, weed ect. you will be held responsible also. Then most likely your son will go to child protective services and you wouldn’t get him back for a very long time. I really hope you are not willing to put your son and yourself into the kind of jeopardy just so they can see your son.)

2. In one of the earlier comments…I agree keep all the text messages that she sends and DO NOT reply back. These are the kind of people who do not need to be in your’s and your son’s life…so why not just ignore them? Then maybe they will just leave you alone…and you will see how much your son really means to them. Also if they have no visitaion rights…you dont have to let them see the child. In the state of mind they are in…I wouldn’t let them. I’m sure you are a great mother, if you weren’t you wouldn’t have posted this worried. You will always be on top…you are the one loving him taking care of him and keeping him safe…most importantly you are “Mommy”. That means more than anything!!

Explain to your son when he is old enough what has happened and I wouldn’t explain unless he asks about it. Tell him like he is an adult…dont talk badly about them just tell him the truth. They are sick with addiction. He will beleive you. When he gets older he will understand more…then there wont be any need for explaining.

I really hope you’re situation gets better and I hope my advice helps. Please as a mother keep your child safe, they are the most important…and you realize that…and one day they will too and they will be sorry bc they will miss out on a precious gift God gave to all of you!!

Goodluck
Written by Patricia G about 1 year ago.

There is way that I would have those type of people in my life let alone my child’s. If and when your child asks about it then I would be honest with him. Give the child age appropriate information. Stay away from them and keep them away from your son. Be the best mom you can be and raise your son to be a strong, independent, responsible man.

How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

My sons fathers side of that family.. what would you do if you where in my shoes?

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