My son isn’t invited to girlfriend’s parents’ Thanksgiving?

11/09/2011 admin 12 comments

My girlfriend’s parents are having a big Thanksgiving dinner this year. They, themselves, have 4 adult children and no grandchildren so they intend to buy a lot of alcohol like they have in recent years and turn Thanksgiving into a big grown-up party. As a result, they’ve asked me to not bring my son.

My son has no mother in his life. I don’t have a relationship with my parents because they’re alcoholics and were abusive to my sister and I growing up. My sister is going to Thanksgiving with her husband’s parents.

I told my girlfriend that she could go on and have a great time with her family, but I thought I’d just take my son for Chinese and we’d have the holiday alone. She’s mad, now, because I don’t want to try and make other arrangements. I told her there was no alternative and she said I should tell her parents that no I wouldn’t find another person to take my son.

I think that if I raise too big of a fuss over it it will only lead to my son being treated negatively all day anyway, so it’s best to just let them do their thing and us do ours. If she really feels we need to be there, it’s HER place to talk to her parents.

Who’s right?

ALCOHOLISM TREATMENT Girlfriend's, invited, isn't, parents, Thanksgiving

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Written by the_emrod about 8 months ago.

You are the father, you decide.
Written by ♥Love ME♥ about 8 months ago.

how selfish and rude of your girlfriend’s parents..personally i wouldn’t go..i would stay home and have a good day with my child…..your girlfriend has no right to be mad…i say run run as fast as you can from her and her family
Written by ♥♥Xanden's Mommy♥♥ about 8 months ago.

Good for YOU!!!!!!!! Don’t make your son spend thanksgiving (which is a time for thankfulness and family) without his dad, the most important family in his life. You Gf is being very selfish. I’m guessing she has no children?? You are right to place your son above your gf. It shouldn’t be a big deal. It’s not like you are telling her that she can’t go either!! Just like she wants to spend the holiday with her parents, your son wants to spend the holidays with his. Hope you all get it worked out
Written by Nan about 8 months ago.

I agree with you, stay home with your son, and don’t make a fuss. If your girlfriend wants you there, she can explain to her parents that you will therefore bringing your son. If they still don’t like, then stay home and eat chinese, and play games with your son.
Written by ainawgsd about 8 months ago.

Honestly, let her be mad. What right does she have to ask you to “abandon” your child on Thanksgiving. Where does she think he’s going to spend the holiday if not with you? And if your child is not welcome at her parents’ Thanksgiving because it is going to be a grown-up party (and frankly it doesn’t sound like the kind of event you would want him at anyway) then she’s going to have to choose whether to spend the day with you or her parents. If she feels strongly enough that she wants you to be there, then yes, it is her place to talk to her parents about making it a more kid-friendly event. She knew you had a son when she started dating you, she should also know full well that he comes before her. I don’t see that it’s such a big deal for you to be the one to tell them that you won’t be coming, but that’s an argument that you need to decide whether or not to take on.
Written by ChynnaDoll about 8 months ago.

You are..I think if you and ur girlfriend are to come ur son should be invited as well..sorry to interrupt their yearly rituals..but ur son has no where else to go and he shouldn’t be alone or some place that is miserable for him on a special holiday like Thanksgiving..I have also declined to go to family BBQ or gatherings when they told me if was for grown ups only..why should I leave my children at home alone and go have a good time while they’re unhappy alone..did it once and regretted it..and the bad part was some people still brought their kids and was not told a word about it while I left my at home and felt like crap.
Written by Hansel about 8 months ago.

You are. Now have your girlfriend make two meaty sandwiches for you and your strapping young lad.
Written by Sage about 8 months ago.

Okay well, I don’t think your girlfriend has anything to be mad over. She wanted to be in a relationship with you knowing you had a son, knowing the situation about it. Your son is apart of the whole package. You are the parent, so you think of your son before you. I personally think it was a bit, well not just a bit very, extremely rude of her parents to ask you to not bring your son. Where is he supposed to go on a holiday, stay home all alone? That is ridiculous. Thanksgiving is all about being grateful spending time with family, not about partying and drinking alcohol and making the environment unsuitable for children. I think that you are right, obviously, and I think you are being a great father to your son by putting him first. Your girlfriend seems a bit immature, and maybe she isn’t ready to be in a relationship with someone with a child, but that’s what she needs to figure out. As for staying home, great, even if they did invite you and your son again, I would chose staying home just because of the fact they didn’t invite you both in the first place. I think you should make a little turkey and stuffing and share the holiday with your son, who is your family. Your girlfriend needs to grow up, and if she really wanted you AND your son to be there, the parents would have allowed it, sounds like she needs to get her priorities straight. Good Luck, Happy Thanksgiving!
Written by Elizabeth about 8 months ago.

YOU! her parents and her are so selfish! they should know you want to take your son!!! so they asked you not to bring him so they can drink?1! how rude!!!

anyway you are totally right!
Written by Ash about 8 months ago.

I would say spend it with your son. If your girlfriend cant understand that your child takes priority over her, you need to find a new girlfriend. Sorry
Written by Mom of 4 about 8 months ago.

You’re right to stand by your son. If he’s not invited then doing something else special with him. I wouldn’t go now even if they changed their minds. Holidays are for family, not just adults and if your “family” isn’t invited I’d drop it and do something else. However, you need to look to the future. Is it always going to be like this? Is this girlfriend worth not being together as a family at the holidays?
Written by mguardian_north about 8 months ago.

If I were you, I wouldn’t go to such a “Thanksgiving” even if I didn’t have a kid.

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My son isn’t invited to girlfriend’s parents’ Thanksgiving?

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