my son is not religious like everyone else in family, should I really be worried ?

10/08/2011 admin 23 comments

My son is 17 . Though he never really claimed that he is atheist, but I think he is or atleast in few years he will be open about it, coz I dont see him participitating much in religious ceremony or even coming to church along with us(family). Even our pastor asks always why doesn’t our son doesn’t come to church along with me , my husband and 14yr old daughter. Thing is if i leave beside his view on religion or god, he is very good soon like anyone could wish for. He is very good in studies and always ranks in top 3 in his class, he has bright mind and he wants to study medicine later, which we are proud of. He is not into drugs, alcohol or even smoking, sometimes when my husband is little over drunk my son doesn’t like that and he always ask his dad to drink in limit. Not always, but whenever he free from his studies he always help me in daily chores , he is very loving to his young sister, and I have seen him always talking to my daughter that she has to be serious in studies and if has any problem come to him . I mean he is very good child, but what just bugs me he seems to not believe in god and doesnt practice our religion much, though he is always helpful to needy ones and gives respect to everyone. People always come to me saying that I have brought up my son really good, he is my pride. So should i really be worried if he turns out atheist or maybe agnostic ? my friends tell me i should be strict with him, but i don’t feel too and even my husband is not pushy about it. what should i do ?

ALCOHOLISM TREATMENT else, everyone, family, like, really, religious, should, worried

Comments

Written by Shipwreck about 9 months ago.

Leave him alone.
Written by DKNY D about 9 months ago.

No, let him be………….Religion KILLS. Spirituality SAVES.
Written by BIGTHINGS about 9 months ago.

YOUR SON WOKE UP TO REALITY.
HE DOES NOT NEED RELIGION TO BE A GOOD PERSON.
Written by Citizen of the Cosmos about 9 months ago.

Sounds like you have a beautiful family that anyone could be proud of. Love your son, and let him be his own person on this issue.
Written by shatterbrat about 9 months ago.

Sounds like you have raised a good son. Be thankful and let him find his own religious path.
Written by kristina about 9 months ago.

Leave him alone. He is the only one who can choose what he believes in. How would you feel if someone tried to force you to be a different religion that you didn’t want to be?? It is his choice to make NOT yours!
Written by William H about 9 months ago.

Pray for him and be an example of Christ. You can not and should not try and force him to choose. He will accept Christ when his heart is right!

God Bless
Written by Jasmine ♥ Prince Charming about 9 months ago.

No, you should be happy for him.
Written by IndianHulk about 9 months ago.

you have very good son. you are great mother, be proud of him and I am sure he loves you very much as well and his family.
Written by youmakemeverymad about 9 months ago.

Don’t forget, he has free will. Just teach him, lead a good example, and pray for him.

Don’t force him to do anything, it won’t help the cause.
Written by Glee about 9 months ago.

It sounds like you a a fine mother who raised a great couple of kids.

If he isn’t a Christian, would you love him any less? Would he be any less of a lovely young man?
Of course not.
He would not love you any less either.
Atheists also make good grades, behave respectfully and love their families.
There is nothing wrong with not believing in supernatural things. It does nothing to diminish a person’s morality or their loved of learning.
Besides, you cannot force him to believe. It is too personal a thing.

Accept him, but also be honest with him. If you open up without judgment, he might do the same and that is how a family operates, right?
Written by mickey about 9 months ago.

you should be proud of him.
Written by Cheshire Cat about 9 months ago.

I don’t think you should be worried if he turns out to be agnostic or atheist. These things are not as bad as people paint them. Even Mother Theresa had doubts about her religion and one has to question her being sainted if that is the case and doubts are also a serious problem!

On the other hand, if you are able, then it may be a good idea to discuss religious beliefs with your son. It could be he has the same thoughts I had about it, but now my religious beliefs are more complicated than most people. Your son is probably even brighter, but no doubt he has come across Bible verses most people don’t study that have left him questioning what he was taught. Clearly most religions bank on the ignorance of their flocks, so when a kid actually DOES read the Bible, it throws things out of whack. For example, what DOES one make of Jesus saying that the connection to God is not in the temple? Does that mean that we should all now build Christian churches with totalitarian control over our religious beliefs, or does it mean that worship and belief is not limited to attending church. Obviously those that had a vested (income) interest in maintaining the idea that you MUST attend church had likewise an interest in the original editing of the Bible’s text and what was and was not included. There is enough to suggest, however, that a legitimate Christian spiritual position can include rejection of church as it is seen as a childhood crutch for teaching morality.

So what happens if those who remain in church have weaker morals than those who ultimately reject it? Jesus said he was here for the sinners, not those who pursue purity. So he may spend some time away until he seriously screws up. At that point, maybe, it’s a good idea to make it clear he is welcome back. Loads of churches fail there in being too focused on being a snobby clique instead of really following the values of faith.
Written by Ruby about 9 months ago.

hold on a sec… did you just say your 17 year old son DIDNT drink?? O_o yeaa i think he may be lying to you about that. anyway… just leave him be, your religion may not be right for him.
Written by victimless criminal about 9 months ago.

Leave him alone! hes a real good kid he doesn’t need god, let him find his own path…
Written by ♥☺ bratiskim∞! ☺♥ about 9 months ago.

There comes a time when parents are responsible for their children’s spirituality and then it’ll be up to them to decide what they want to do with it. Maybe that time has come for your son. I don’t think that making him come to church against his free will would be a good thing because soon he’ll legally be an adult.
Written by The Passenger about 9 months ago.

It sounds like you have raised a lovely son. At 17 he has probably formed into the person he is basically going to be so you and your husband can give yourselves big pats on the back for doing such a wonderful job.
It sounds like you already know that it wouldn’t do much good or be the right thing to force the issue with him. It sounds like it more the issue of other people making it an issue. They should worry about their family and let you worry about your own. My advice would be not push the issue and continue to let him be the person he is. It sounds like he is already on the right track and what can you really do with a 17 year old? He’ll be leaving for college soon, if you forced him to go to church or anything else he might go along with it for the time being just to make you happy but I doubt it would have any lasting affect at this point. He’ll be who he is and it sounds like he’s someone to be very proud of.
Written by Hmmm about 9 months ago.

Are you asking if you should force him to believe what you believe? Best case scenario, as he is functionally enough of an adult at 17 to at least know for himself whether or not God exists, is he will resent you if you try anything other than acceptance. Worst case, he rebels against you and you lose the good aspects of him (and I am not counting his religious views as a bad quality for not believing). I say you already know what to do, since you say you are proud of him anyway, and that you aren’t taking your friends’ advice to strictly enforce religion upon him, but rather instead have come to an open forum of strangers for advice. Let him live his own life.
Written by In Christ's service about 9 months ago.

Keep praying for him.
Written by kebb about 9 months ago.

he seems like a good person so what more is there to ask of him? do you really want to be like the mother who answered the she poured water down her sons throat to make him say yes. and thats what she did.. she made him say yes. saying yes to appease you wouldn’t change what he really feels or thinks. Dont be afraid to ask your son what he believes and why though. my parents make me go to church every sunday and i am an atheist, and 18. When i was 17 i had already made up my mind in what i believed. I had reasons and logic to back up why i felt that way.

i guess what i am trying to say is, let him be him. because at 17 it isnt likely that you an change what he believes, and if you force him to say yes… it still wont change. maybe you could have a conversation with him and see why he feels what he does, it will make him feel closer to you…. but dont debate like the atheists and christians sometimes do on here.
Written by kelticpete about 9 months ago.

How can any human coerce another to love god?

because religion and church, espeically in the south, are cultural, really. I met a lot of people who believe in God and jesus and cheat on their wives, steal, and lie. And I know moral, kind atheists.

religion is usually crap. that is why I left church for 15 years. God, however, desperately loves you and your son, and his heart aches to show his love…

the question I would ask about my children:

“do my children love themselves and others?”
“does my child know that I believe God is a god of compassion and hope and forgiveness?”
“have I shared my own story of god with my child? how I came to believe in jesus, my own life of prayer?

given that your kid is smart, he may realize a fact that I, who am a pastor, realized: a lot of stuff preachers say is dumb, a lot of the bible does not make sense at times, and smart people should wonder at a god who would order people to kill babies in the book of judges yet in the gospels calls us to be nonviolent and to not resisit evildoers. the bible is hard to understand, and many well meaning people really mess up trying to defend it rather than let it be what it is.

I found that most of my fellow good students were the MOST skeptical about traditional southern christianity be it baptist, pentecoastal, or catholic. some are now atheists. some are now progressive christians, some are evangelical christians…but pound for pound they are MORE humane, more “christlike” than most christians.

your friends are wrong. if you force “religion” down his throat he will resent you and your god.. seriously, if Jesus is real, (which i think he is)….tell Jesus about your worries and ask what you should do…God will not ignore a mother’s prayers.
Written by Maximum Effect about 9 months ago.

Not to sound harsh, but it is your son that should be worried about you and the rest of your family.

From your description, you have done an EXCELLENT job raising him and he is, or will be, an atheist BECAUSE he is an intelligent, free thinker. Making him a theist will NOT make him a better person, so why should you care if he was able to free himself from the mental bondage of religion? Religion was created to make ‘not so good’ people into good people. Since he is already a good person, he doesn’t need religion to scare him into being a good person (as from your description is proof already)

Sorry, but its very old-worldish to insist that people need to be religious in order to be good people. Because of the loving environment you have given him growing up, he has evolved past the need for old world religion.

I hope you don’t take offense to this too much. It is a credit to you how well of a son he has turned out to be. I bet he turns out to be a wonderful doctor or something.
Written by colin.hroberts about 9 months ago.

This is a very familiar situation for me. I live in a very religious family and have gone to church every sunday since i was born (I am now 20)…I always had questions about everything but i tried to be a good christian…when I got older and started to study more and get smarter, i realized that it was just so ridiculous and I haven’t looked back since becoming, if i have to label it, an atheist. You say he’s good at studies, maybe he’s taken the academic path. Just leave him alone, he sounds like a good kid.

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my son is not religious like everyone else in family, should I really be worried ?

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