My son is almost 16 – a soph in high school. He’s extremely intelligent, and loves computer programming. Besides his 104 average in programming, he has B’s, C’s and 3 F’s in subjects like English. It’s obvious he can do the work, but he doesn’t hand it in. Recognizing this is passive-agressive behaviour, I took him to a counselor. Several, actually, but he is smarter than all of them and basically plays them to give them the answers they want to hear, which doesn’t help anyone. I considered the local alternative school but it seems that it’s designed for kids with greater problems such as drugs and alcohol and I do NOT want him to be any more negatively influenced. His father lives across country (we split up before he was 3), and is a bum/drug addict (no job, owes years in back child support) – when he sees him once a year/every other year, my son’s personality changes and he tries to act like his Dad. I know his father has told him bad things about me and that I don’t deserve respect because I’m not with his father anymore, even though I worked 2 jobs for years and went to school to get my degree and a good job so my son can have anything he needs. I’m remarried now, and my son and his step-father get alone, but they are polar opposites (my son into D&D and computer games, my husband into sports). I am currently working with the counselor and teachers at the school to try and fix this issue, but it’s tough. It’s taking a lot of time and effort away from job, and putting me under enormous amounts of stress (I have have serious health problems). He’s almost 16 – Should I just back off and let him fail? Last thing I want is to seem him fail, but he’s too old for me to keep hassling him like this. And I’m tired of this situation – it’s been going on for almost 5 years now. What do I do to allow him to do well or do I just back off and let him fall on his face? What do I do if he falls on his face and instead of picking himself back up, decides it’s easier to be like his Dad and do nothing?

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