My sister has a serious drug addiction. I never know what drug she’s doing from week to week. One week its Loratabs, then it’s Cocaine, then it’s OxyCotton, etc. She and her drug addict boyfriend are both unemployed. My sister received welfare, food stamps, and child support. She has openly admitted that she is a drug addict and that she uses her child support and sells her food stamps to get she and her boyfriends fix. She spent her $2000 tax check on drugs . . . she admitted this. She always accuses my mother and stepdad of not loving her and not wanting her because they always have a lecture for her. She has a 4 year old son, and no matter how many times we have offered or threatened to take him until she got sober, she absolutely refuses to give him up. I understand she loves him, but what I can’t understand is how a parent wouldn’t want a better life for their child. My biggest fears are that she is going to end up dead and that my nephew is going to grow up just like her. How do I convince her that she needs help and until she decides to get it she needs to let somebody else care for her child? I want to call CPS but that department never fails to disappoint me.
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Written by whats up? about 2 years ago.
well I saw this program on TV once, called Intervention, it elps with all sorts of addicts. I dont know if you want her on TV, but they seem to be very good at helping the people out.
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Written by limitality about 2 years ago.
She obviously either wants the child for a certain reason. And if she acts like that, then no doubt she’s spending the poor things baby bonus on that stuff, too. He supports their habit. Or maybe, deep down inside : She just loves him. And think about it… If you were her, would you give up YOUR son? The one thing in the world that is apart of you, like, legitimately? Well. The best you CAN do, is try and have a intervention! Get your parents and family together and try and help her, and if nothing works… I suggest getting that child out A.S.A.P!
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Written by Peabee about 2 years ago.
Run, don’t walk directly to a lawyer and file a request with the court. Have as much proof as you can get, pictures help (her high, dirty house, dishes not done, email, texts. letters, witnesses).
They will ‘force’ a CPS investigation, they may remove your nephew immediately until the investigation is complete. Petition the court for temporary custody of your nephew pending outcome of the investigation. Your nephew has no hope for a normal life. 4 year olds are notorious for copying the actions of adults and he is endanger of overdosing on drugs left around…I am sure her place is not child-proof. The boyfriend is a danger to the boy also.
She will never let her meal ticket (source of income for drugs) go willingly.
She is also unable to think rationally or clearly…her brain has ben altered by drugs.
Run…save him as fast as you can. -
Written by daisymay about 2 years ago.
You have to start by realizing that you can’t save anyone from them-self. Until your sister hits rock bottom and decides to make a change for herself she will never change. In the mean time I recommend tough love. You can also give up trying to talk her into giving up custody of her son. From what you said he is her only source of income, without him she wouldn’t be able to get her fix. I think that you should continue to call CPS and try to get custody that way. I know she’s your sister and you don’t want to do anything to hurt her but you can’t allow her to harm an innocent child in her own self destruction. Good luck and I hope things get better for you and your family.
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Written by CrystalB about 2 years ago.
Unfortunately when a person is abusing drugs it can alter their personality. Your sister may be acting this way because she is under the influence of drugs. You may not be able to convince her to willingly hand over her child, especially if it helps her obtain money for an addiction.
Your nephew needs to be removed from this situation. Unfortunately calling CPS doesn’t always work but it is worth a try. There are other alternatives that may help though. If she is not willing to give a relative informal custody of her child a relative can file a petition with Family Court for legal custody. Going through the court puts all of this on record and hold the court liable if they do not remove him from a dangerous situation so they will have to listen to you. They will give her a drug test if you list this as one of your concerns. As an addict it is very unlikely that she will be able to stop using drugs in order to pass until she receives treatment. “If one or both parents do not agree that the relative should have custody, generally the relative has to show that there are extraordinary circumstances to obtain a custody order. Extraordinary circumstances can include parental abandonment, neglect, abuse or unfitness among other situations. Once extraordinary circumstances are established, the court will go on to award custody based on the best interests of the child. In almost all cases, if the relative obtains legal custody, the parents will still have the right to visit the child.” Once she can establish that she has complied with court ordered rehab or therapy and can stay clean they will give her back custody. This would help both your sister and her son.
Note: Each state has slightly different laws but you can do this in any state.
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Written by gsmom about 2 years ago.
I have dealt with an aunt like this with my nieces .its harsh But if CPS wont help go to the extreme .But realize one you will gain the child and loose the sister . But your nephew deserves someone to do what ever it takes . what i did was the next time i knew she was using with my nieces in the house i called the police and said look my aunt has drugs in the house now and my niece are home . she was arrested and overnight the children was placed in CPS a 51A was filed against her .so she one had to face a judge and jail time bought us time to get the girls and also CPS now had to be involved also the courts mandatory her for drug treatment. do i regret what we did no does my aunt speak to me No but the girls are now in there 20′s and doing very well.
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Written by sixloveArcher about 2 years ago.
start video taping her and her boyfriend and their actions. Get a video editor and make a film out of it. Show her what her lifestyle looks like and say “is this really the kind of life my nephew deserves? Is this the life you deserve?”
thats just an idea, but… the boyfriend will keep her in the life style for sure. First she has to some how get rid of him, and then she needs to be sober so she can feel and face all the pain she’s covering up with drugs.
When she says that her family doesn’t love her. really listen to what she’s saying, she has a wound. one day, get her sober and just ask if she could talk about her feelings of being unloved. if she doesn’t face the pain there’s no one she’s going to stop the drug abuse…
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Written by Cougar about 2 years ago.
If she gives up her kid ,she loses all her free money.
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Written by George McCasland about 2 years ago.
Why not help the father get custody?
http://dads-house.org/
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Written by Lakeview Health about 2 years ago.
I know it seems impossible now, but all is not lost for your sister. Have you ever considered drug rehab treatment? For some people that is the beginning point that they need to get them on the way to recovery. There are quite a few that accept insurance and it might be the structure she needs to get her started. The only thing is that she won’t be able to help herself until she is ready.
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