My MIL wants to baby sit our baby, how can we tell her no in a nice way?

28/09/2010 admin 10 comments

So, my MIL comes over the other day, I was at home from work not feeling good (7 months prego). So she says she wants to talk to me about baby sitting the baby when she’s born. She says that my husband already told her no, (she starts crying) and says she totally capable of watching the baby, are we really not going to let her? So I tell her, well we really haven’t talked about it, I don’t know who were going to get to watch the baby.
A little history- this woman only works part time, she is ALWAYS hitting my husband up for money (she’s single) if not him, then his brother. She has mentioned baby sitting to me before, saying “oh well when the baby comes I won’t have to work cause I’ll baby sit the baby”. I always igonored her when she said this. How does she think she’s going to LIVE?
Ok, back to last week. So she tells me well I was thinking I could watch her (Mon – Thurs) and you guys could pay me $150 and you guys will just have to get someone to watch her for Friday. (So I’m thinking in my head, $150 a week or every 2 weeks?) And I was like well I really don’t know, we haven’t talked about it and honestly if I find a family member to watch her, I’m only going to be paying family no more than $50-$80 a week. And she says, oh no I can’t do it that cheap (now I know she means $150 a week). Then she says well I figured if you guys pay a professional day care that you guys will pay more than a hundred! Ahhh hello! She’s comparing her crack head a** to a professional liscenced day care, and still wants to be paid more to watch her only grand daughter (we have a son that she does not watch). I was so appalled, I haven’t even told my husband because I don’t even know how to say it without telling him his mom f*ckin smokes crack on the daily if she thinks were paying her that much to watch our daughter! Am I crazy or is this woman a lunatic? How can I tell my husband, and how can we tell her to go to hell in a nice way… remember she was crying when she was telling me all this! And he’s a sucker for his crying mother!

Sorry so long…..

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Written by finally pregnant!!! about 2 years ago.

I would tell her that you already have daycare set up somewhere else and just leave it at that. She sounds like a crazy loon who just wants to sit on her @ss while you pay out to her.
Written by T about 2 years ago.

Tell her you have to pay the full week even if the baby goes for one day or that she needs the interaction that a daycare provides.
Written by Mrs. Baumann about 2 years ago.

HOLY CRAP! THAT IS CRAZY! It sounds to me like she wants to watch the baby for 1) Money and 2) and easier reason to hit your husband up FOR money “I WATCH YOUR DAUGHTER ALL WEEK… WHY CAN’T YOU JUST GIVE ME TWENTY DOLLARS!??” Heck no I would tell this woman “NO NO NO NO NO we are putting her in daycare end of story!”
Written by lil lady about 2 years ago.

If she’s on drugs, you guys would be crazy to let her watch your daughter for 5 minutes even!

I personally don’t fall for the little crying fits people do. That just annoys me even more and makes me completely set against what they want.

I don’t envy your position, but honestly just tell her that you’ve already located a professional daycare that you love (even if you haven’t) and that you tied into a contract with them already to watch your daughter. At least she won’t figure it out for quite some time.

I really don’t know what else to tell you. Make sure that you and your husband are on the same page through this all.

Good luck!
Written by Amy about 2 years ago.

This is a hard one because you really don’t want to hurt her feelings, but you want what’s best for your baby. I would decide quickly who is going to watch the baby, let her know and say- we really don’t want you to be hurt, we made this decision because it is the most convienient for us, and tell her the reasons why (whether it’s money or whatever). Say we hope you can occasionally babysit when we go out on dates and stuff, so she doesn’t feel like you don’t trust her or don’t like her. Remember that although when your pregnant it’s easy for your emotions to run wild, your mother in law first and foremost is your husband’s mother (put yourself in her shoes) and loves her grandchild she hasn’t even met yet so much that she wants to see her and spent time with her every day. That’s at least a nice sentiment. Also, I don’t think 150 a week is unreasonable. I am a teacher turned stay at home mom and I watch a little girl on Fridays and get paid 40 a day. (which still works out to practically nothing if you figure it out hourly.) The going rate for home daycare at least in our area is about 200-250 a week. And don’t assume a daycare is any better- they are often very understaffed, to the point where they sometimes hire some questionable characters, and I don’t know any person who can watch 6 babies at once and take care of all their needs (and that is the state mandated ratio in most areas) Sometimes babies are left with dirty diapers, and crying because the person taking care of them has 5 other babies that started pooping and crying first. On top of that they are more expensive 350-400 a week. Good luck with your little one and I hope this all works out for you and your husband.
Written by Destiny about 2 years ago.

This was exactly like my ex mil. I would never let someone that desperate watch my baby! A daycare center is cheaper than that and they are trained in cpr. You should tell your husband but make it clear that it isnt happening.
Written by One's on the way! about 2 years ago.

Not exactly the same problem but similar…

My mother in law has offered to watch our baby too. This would not be a problem as she is a nice person but Im not planning on going back to work. We are planning for me to stay at home with our baby so we will not be needing childcare. My problem is now that my MIL knows this she keeps doubting how we are going to be able to afford for me to say home.. like it’s any of HER business and that when the time comes for us to need childcare she will be glad to do it. I’m sorry but nobody is raising my child but me. Period. Im going to be the one caring for my daughter and that’s the end of statement. Putting the financies aside – we will make do. Where there is a will there is a way. I dont appreciate her acting like that and saying those things to me. It’s really bothersome.

I just have learned to let the comments roll of my sholders. Nobody is going to parent our child but my husband and I which means all decisions regarding her and her care are left up to us alone to decide. Dont let your MIL get to you. You are that babys mommy not her!!
Written by sweetiehart528 about 2 years ago.

Well if I were you I would use the next few weeks to line up a babysitter for your baby. Then by the next time the subject comes up you can just tell her that you found someone that said they would take care of your baby at a price you can afford. Tell her with the other new expenses with your child you just can’t afford the amount that she wants. I would also say that if you hear of anyone else who needs a babysitter that you will give them her information. ( of course mentally you will know you will never give out her information to anyone else) At least this way your husband won’t get upset with you and hopefully your MIL will handle it well. If not, well I’m outta ideas, but I wish you the best of luck!
Written by Due 01/15/10 about 2 years ago.

well you said yourself that you could find someone within the family to watch your baby for 50 or 80, and she said she couldnt do it that cheap. so just tell her you got a cousin or someone to watch her for free, a little lie doesnt hurt much!
Written by *Dana* about 2 years ago.

Just stick with it being too much money… If you know she won’t do it for any less that $150 (which is ridiculous!!) then find someone that is cheaper and say we can’t afford that-this person only charges so and so….idk where you live but baby is going to an in-home day care for $100 a week so I think she’s alittle overpriced lol

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My MIL wants to baby sit our baby, how can we tell her no in a nice way?

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