My kids are 35 and 32. When their dad left they were 10 & 13. Soon after that ( I recently found out) they started drinking. As they grew up it got progressivly worse. These are people who have (at one time) have professional jobs, great relationships etc.. I have enabled them a lot over the years. Paying their bills, house payments, food, clothes cars, insurance payments, you name it, I’ve done it. All along, knowing it was wrong. I had so much guilt over their dad leaving. They have “both” lived with me at one time or another. They have destroyed my homes and my heart. I know you will all say, ” It was my fault” I moved from California to Washington, with my present husband of 20 years. Soon after we got here, my oldest son came here for 3 months. It drove me crazy, again my fault. One day while I was at work, my husband put him on a bus and shipped him to New Mexico. He was homless and had just the clothes on is back. Eventully, I mailed him his stuff. My question is. How do I sleep at night ? How can I get myself to realize I am powerless? I feel like one day I will get “the call” and one of my kids will be dead. I constantly live with this. I have stopped paying their ways, but I feel guilty that I live in a beautiful house, I am warm, I have a good job, good credit, nice cars, someone who loves me and a little money in the bank. I don’t know how to stop the insanity that I am causing myself over their screwed up lives. I have already done the Counseling thing. I could never follow the Counselor’s help because at that time, I couldn’t do the right thing and kick them to the curb. I love my kids, but hate that they are choosing this destructive path in life. I just want peace within myself and don’t know how to get it. Please give me some suggestions. Thanks!!