okay, heres some background: i was born into a family of alcoholics. my dad recently passed away due to his heavy drinking and liver problems caused by it. recently i have noticed that my sister has been drinking every night. she has a 8 year old son (my nephew) who when hanging out together told me that his mom “acts weird at night and then falls asleep” HOW SAD! but im not sure how to go about talking to her about this. i know she knows what it is like to grow up with an alcoholic parent, hell, both of ours were. dont you think that she would understand and want to keep that shit away from her son?
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Written by Jl K about 10 months ago.
You are going to have to confront her.
While you learned from your family’s mistakes she is apparently emulating them. You may want to gather other members of your family and stage an intervention. She needs to understand that she isn’t alone, and that she doesn’t need alcohol to control her problems.
You could also suggest taking her to an AA meeting, or even Ala-non (a meeting for the families of alcoholics) I have several alcoholics in my family as well, and have been to Ala-non meetings. If you can get her to attend AA maybe you can tell her you want to attend the other for support with what you went through with your dad and you would like her to come along. maybe that small step could begin to show her what she is potentially doing to her son.
I wish the best of luck to you and your sister.
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Written by scuba pants! about 10 months ago.
Talk to her about it, but she might not think it’s as bad as you think. You might upset her or you might wake her up. Then again, she might just not care because the alcohol helps her in some ways. It calms me the fuck down. I feel normal not drunk.
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Written by jasonlai73 about 10 months ago.
prayers can make the world go round. try it. really.
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Written by Gina about 10 months ago.
The best thing to do is talk with her, tell her you love her and IF you live close by visit her more often and become closer also do more things together tell her your afraid that you do not want to lose her as you both have your dad etc.
If need be tell her you will go to counseling with her. The thing is Alcoholism is a disease and one can not just cold Turkey quit, actually doing such can cause death in some cases if the drinking is very bad. Sometimes these people may be abusive towards others but we need to learn to forgive we don’t have to forget just forgive. anyway the best to you both -
Written by Number 3 about 10 months ago.
I’m a strong believer in the genetic component to alcoholism.
Yes, your sister likely wants above all else to keep her son from going through what you went through, but the desire an alcoholic feels for a drink defies all logic.
You need to talk to your sister and see if she wants help. As I’m sure you are aware, there are many programs that can help alcoholics. They only work when someone is ready. I tried many times, but you can only find sobriety when you are ready.
If your sister isn’t ready to fight this battle, you may need to consider intervening for the sake of your nephew. What type of intervention will depend on your family situation, but perhaps it would be good for this little boy to have a break from dealing with his mom ‘acting weird’.
My mother is a recovered alcholic, and I always swore I’d only ever drink sensibly. It took many years for me to hit rock bottom and realise that I’d become everything I promised myself I wouldn’t.
Alcoholic Anonymous:
http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/
Al-Anon:
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/english.html
Adult Children of Alcoholics:
http://www.adultchildren.org/
Rational Recovery (Not free):
http://www.rational.org/
StepChat (Twelve Step AA and Al-Anon chat rooms with online meetings):
http://stepchat.com/ -
Written by Christine m about 10 months ago.
Coming from a long line of alcoholics I can certainly sympathize with you. I know it seems as clear as day to you that your sister should see the big picture and want better for her children but
for some reason it does not pan out that way for a lot of people. She will not get the help she needs until she is ready to admit she has a problem and wants to seriously do something about it. If she were forced into to it it would not be effective. Keep in mind all addicts regardles of what their addictions are are very very good at telling others what they know you want to hear. They are master munipulators. They become excellant at hiding there loot etc. You can try to talk to her and discuss your concerns but you can not force her hand. Be there for your nephew as often as you can. Let him know what he is witnessing is a “sickness”and not to hate her for it. Also teach him not to enable her or to emulate her. There are support groups out there for children whose parents have addictions. See about him getting involved in one. You need to stay strong and addiction free for this child and be sure never to bad mouth his mom in front of him. And because of your sisters state of mind – don’t bother arguing with her and deffinitly don’t throw it in her face how you are the stability in her sons life. She will only become combative and unreasonable – they cannot see things logically for the most part, if they did they would not be in the boat they are in. Good luck and God bless.
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