My 8 year old step son Keeps picking up my new born son?

14/04/2011 admin 12 comments

This morning me and my wife woke up to her younger son telling us that her oldest son was changing the baby (my one month old son). We ran in to the baby’s room and found him on a blanket on the floor with his diaper half off and a bottle of alcohol next to him. Her oldest son who is 8 was trying to change him. He didn’t even need to be changed. The worst part of it is we have no idea what he was using the alcohol for. He has been told many many times that he can not pick the baby up when no one is around and that he should come and get someone if he thinks something is wrong with his new brother. He was trying to be helpful but he could have seriously hurt his brother. What should I do. Like I said I have told him many many times not to pick up his brother.
Hey melissa go to hell my son was not left unsupervised he was in his room with a monitor. I guess you are one of those people who get on here to start agruments. For everyone else thank you for your answers

ALCOHOLISM TREATMENT born, keeps, picking, step, year

Comments

Written by Charlotte Z about 1 year ago.

take him to a quiet place where there are no distractions tell him once more a little more sternly how delicate the baby is and explain to him if he wants to help he can in other ways
give him a consequence if he is to do it again
allow him to hold and feed the baby when your right there also
Written by Proud about 1 year ago.

Consistency is key. You also need to stay calm and speak to him rationally.

Continue to remind him that he’s not allowed to pick the child up on his own. When you are around though, allow him to help as much as he is capable to. That’s obviously all he wants. Let him sit on the couch and hold the baby while he drinks a bottle. He just desperately longs to be a helpful big brother, so let him. Encourage it even, but just constantly remind him of the boundaries and teach him the appropriate way to help.

If night time and early morning is your biggest worries, consider letting the baby sleep in your room for a while. That way you’ll be the first one to hear him when he wakes or will hear big brother if he’s in the room trying to help.
Written by melissa about 1 year ago.

Obviously the kid has a listening issue and your newborn shouldn’t be lift unsupervised.
Written by kk & kyky's mom about 1 year ago.

Start punishing him if he’s not going to listen.
Written by dkimmy about 1 year ago.

Sounds like you need to sit down and right out what he can and can’t do, and post it somewhere he can easily see it and be reminded. Also discuss what punishments there are for the rules being broken and write them down. Discuss everything in detail so you know he understands, then if he does anything with the baby, you can issue out the punishment. Obviously being 8 he doesn’t really get why it’s so bad, and why he can’t, but you have to protect baby.

“Helping” siblings are the biggest threat to a new baby at home.
Written by emmas*mommy about 1 year ago.

take him out for the day and explain to him how and why he shouldnt be doing what he is doing ie baby is too young and delicate. also make sure you tell him you are grateful he wants to help. assign him a special activity to do with his new brother something he can do each day ie help bathe baby or help tidy up, cuddle time with baby before bed, something that makes him feel like a big brother. explain to him that you enjoy him helping out and that hes a great big brother but also remind him that he must tell yous if he thinks baby needs changed or fed make it a task for him so he feels hes’helping and involved’
Written by nikky about 1 year ago.

he wants attention and at least he is looking to get it in a good way. start delegating more baby responsibilities to him

like have him give the baby a bottle
or have him make the baby laugh
or have him take pictures

don’t forget he is just as important to the family as anyone else and he is trying to prove his worth to both of you and be a caring older brother.

when you give him these baby chores let him know that they are VERY important and without his help you could never do it.

but also explain that his baby brother is a wiggler and will try to slip out of his hands. tell him you trust he could do it but it will make you and his mom feel a lot better if he asked before he held the baby
Written by Nurse Practitioner 32 years about 1 year ago.

This is a tough one, since you don’t want to cause jealousy by the 8 yr old toward the younger brother. Approach this as you would any other rule. i.e. The rule is, you must make your bed before you go out to play. You didn’t follow the rule, so the punishment is..(whatever) The rule is, you must have an adult present before you pick up the baby. You didn’t follow the rule, so the punishment is..(whatever). He apparently has heard all the lectures about how he can hurt the baby, so no point in going over them again. Make sure the punishment fits the crime… don’t over-punish. He needs to know what the punishment will be when he breaks a rule. Good luck with this. Congratulations on your new son, but don’t forget you are now “dad” to the other two. Hope this helps.
Written by Mommy of One about 1 year ago.

You are a concerned parent and your stepson wants to be involved with his little brother! Perfectly understandable.

What you can do is reinforce the fact that your stepson cannot pick up the baby by himself. I would recommend that you talk to your wife and make sure she is there with you when you two talk to your stepson so that your stepson understands that this is a concern with the both of you. However, you do not want to ostracize your stepson either. Maybe your stepson can be a little helper i.e. have him get a clean diaper for the baby (even if the diaper is close by).
Written by danielle w about 1 year ago.

I didn’t read all the other answers. I bet the alchol was for the belly button. It sounds like he is very interested in helping and he probably has seen you clean the belly button in the begining.
An 8 year old is old enough to understand I’d continue to try talking to him and punish if it happens again. Can you put one of those door knob covers on the babies door so that the other kids can’t open the door?
Written by Brynnbee about 1 year ago.

Tell him in a quiet room, that the baby isn’t in fact a toy. But it is apparent that your 8 y/o obviously cares about the newborn, and wants to care for him. just keep out your watchful eye, even as it may make you v very nervous. good luck!

FATHERS ANSWER MINE! http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Au6S0W1ItiJ_unKKTuIq8ELsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090527192604AAr4kGd
Written by beetlemilk about 1 year ago.

We’ve got a 6 yr age gap and we had similiar issues. What solved it was to put a lock on the door of the newborn’s room. This gave us peace of mind, because like you, the oldest managed to do these things when the monitor was on and we didn’t hear a thing on the monitor to give us warning. He also would climb into the crib with the baby and a large blanky. Also we gave the older son opportunity to ‘help’ supervised and praise him for being so responsible and gave him lots of individual attention.

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My 8 year old step son Keeps picking up my new born son?

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