My 2 yr boyfriend is now obese and it is ruining our sex life.?

25/10/2010 admin 7 comments

MY BF of 2 yrs was was running marathons when we first met after having had a weight loss of 150 lbs! I knew he had previous weight issues but was impressed by his ability to lose the weight and start running. NOW he is back up over 100 lbs and terribly obese. We can’t have normal intercourse because his belly is so big I can’t get around it! I also find myself being embarrassed by him in public. He sits with his legs wide apart and sweats heavily because of his weight.
He really is a great guy otherwise, so I am not ready to give up on him.
He was previously on a weight loss program (JC) but it stopped working after awhile, probably because he cheated. He has little self control when it comes to food. His teenage son is also obese with health problems.
I have played the ‘nagging’ role and it isn’t working. I believe he sneaks
food and binge eats when we are not together. We do not live together so I do not know what he actually eats.
Anyway, I feel badly because I find the man I love to be so repulsive.
What can I do?

ALCOHOLISM TREATMENT boyfriend, life., obese, ruining

Comments

Written by ♥ Miss. bumblebee ♥ about 2 years ago.

I believe he’s a emotional eater. Sounds like he has self esteem problems. You need to tell him how you feel. Maybe throw out all the junk food. Go shopping with him and only get healthy food. Tell him you’re worried about his health & son’s health. They need to shape up before it’s to late.
Written by Kenna Coconut™ about 2 years ago.

join a gym with him, and go with him regualarly!
also, maybe start bringing him surprise meals, or invite him to a romantic and healthy dinner.
start being around more.
express a concern for his health.
and yeah, like a first answerer, throw out the junk food! that stuff is poisonous! get him to be more active, find an activity you both love!
and until then, don’t be embarassed by his looks. you love him, and if people can’t understand love, well screw them!
Written by Common Sense about 2 years ago.

Tell him exactly what you think.
Written by Joel S about 2 years ago.

Hey, I’m plus sized too, but not terribly obese. I hope you would not find me repulsive. Anyway….that aside, if it bothers you that much, then you will just have to confront him about it. The sooner you do this, the better, and then instead of flat out saying, “your too fat”, you should suggest that the both of you start a healthy eating regime along w/ an exercise program, and then try to get him to experiment with a variety of healthy options that taste good.

If y’all do not live together,then there is no telling what he’s eating whenever he’s out of your sight. How long did it take it to gain that much weight back?

Even w/ a healthy eating plan, you cant expect him to go from eating his tail off to eating a piece of celery as his only meal. But you do need to tell him this for his own good. If he continues in the path that he is going in then he will kill himself. That just isn’t healthy.
Written by kermit_frog_rocks about 2 years ago.

This guy is hurting you emotionally, and you are defending him. You are not getting what you want out of the relationship, and being embarassed by him is not making things better. Compare this to a man that cheats on his wife…all their friends know, and the wife is constantly embarassed by her husbands behavior. Most people would not think twice about telling you to leave him. But, because this issue might seem superficial, lots of people would say to stay with him and support him, or accuse you of being shallow. Well, you’re actually not. You have legitimate concerns for his health, he doesn’t care for himself, and expects you to love him and take care of him when he ends up bedridden and won’t be able to leave the house. Do you want to change his diapers and not be able to go out of the house with him? I think you should give him an ultimatum, lose weight and respect your body, or you will leave. That’s not being cold hearted, but being practical.
Written by Jay B about 2 years ago.

The man you love is killing himself. Would you stand by and ignore it if he was taking a knife to his wrists? I don’t imagine so. You can either try and help him get help, or save yourself the pain of watching him kill himself by walking away.

He’ll only change if he wants to, you cannot force him. And admitting that his issues are too big for you to handle is not a bad thing. It’s realistic. Anyone who judges you if you choose to walk away from a situation you cannot change or live in happily is wrong to do so.
Written by Jamie about 2 years ago.

Tell him to sort himself out because being obese can lead to serious health problems including death.

If he doesn’t then you’ll have to see if sacrificing your happiness just for the sake of sticking with him is worth it.

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My 2 yr boyfriend is now obese and it is ruining our sex life.?

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