We are spending lots of time and money his party. The only issue is my ex husband’s sister (my son’s aunt). She’s a major alcoholic–and she totally gets drunk at every party. I know my sons loves her to death and she is always nice to him–but last time she got drunk and broke one of our kitchen chairs!!
She keeps calling us..What should I do??
it depend on how long you been married i think you should but maybe keep a distance
invite her but hide the alcohol.
Invite her, tie her down and keep her away from the liquor. (Alcohol at a high school graduation party????)
Why not have a dry party? My brother and his very new wife just had their wedding reception last week and didn’t serve alcohol for that reason.
Ask your son if he wants her there and comply with his wishes
secretly serve alc free drinks, make sure she realize that if she does get drunk you will be very upset and take her home. water her drinks down if they are liquer, i would switch her drinks with alcohal free
Don’t invite her and tell her why.
She won’t stop drinking until she starts suffering the consequences of it. And missing her nephew’s party is a consquence.
It’s the best thing you could do, both for her as an alcoholic and for your son to have the party he deserves.
You should definatley call her, and explain to her without being a biotch, that if she wants to come, she needs to stay in control and not get out of line. Say that your son, and yourself would like her to come, but only if she promises not to get out of line
well…..after all she is family and if any thing you should have her over and talk to her about it over a cup of coffee, and besides it wouldnt be very nice to exclude someone who loves your son and as you said he loves her too…..be strong and set limits if she goes overboard kindly bring it to her attention…..congratulations and good luck !!!!!! (never an easy situation)
regardless if she’s your EX sil, she is still your son’s aunt. invite her, hide the booze.
What it be possible to have no alcohol at the party and invite her but let it be known up front that no alcohol will be allowed and the party and if she shows up with any she will not be welcome? It’s your son’s party and he should have his aunt there but at the same time she needs to have respect for others.
think you should let her come BUT let her know in advance that if she cant control her drinking then she’ll be told to leave..and that you want your son’s aunt he loves to be their to celabrate with him but not to be there to get drunk and ruin it for him.
Don’t serve any alcohol.
Not even for the adults.
No doubt a tough situation. I suggest having a private conversation with her, and try to get her to agree to a drink limit. You of course want your son’s party to be the very best, and she cares about him too…if she knows she has a drinking problem she will hopefully agree to a drink limit for his sake. If she won’t agree, you may have to tell her she isn’t welcome.
Good luck!
sorry to say this but you should invite her you need to be better then she is. your son loves her and not be placed in the middle with her problem
Let her come. Everybody’s got one of those in the family…
You should definitely invite her if your son loves her to death and if he wants her there. It’s his party and he’s an adult now!
I’m sure she didn’t break your kitchen chair on purpose. I would have my son call her and invite her, but tell him to mention that she has to respect the house and she cannot get plastered to a point where you will have to ask her to leave.
Ex’s are ex’s, let your ex sponsor his own party for that side of the family! They should be a burden to you no more.
Your son is eighteen, old enough to be told the truth about his aunt, of course she is fun alcys can be, but thell him the truth, just don’t be mean about it!
Will there be drinking at an 18 year old’s party? Or are you afraid of her bringing her own?
If there is going to be drinking at the party, there shouldn’t be. (This is how the problem starts with some.) Otherwise, watch her close and put a time limit on her. And yes, tell her why. ” We love, but when youu drink you are not the person we love.”
Good luck and congrats!
Ask this question: would your son want an out of control drunk family member in front of his friends – at his graduation party? Probably not. Do you? Clearly not. I’d be talking to both parties now.
Tell your son’s aunt that she is welcome to come, but that you have told your son that if things go south, she will be removed from the party. You need to set this expectation now.
Regarding your son, you have a great teaching moment right in front of you. If her behavior in the past has been unacceptable to you, he should know why. Depending on his maturity level, involving him in the decision to invite with conditions or not at all could be your solution.
Loving someone doesn’t mean approving of their inappropriate behavior.
why not suggest a private venue of others for a smaller dinner party or other. no reason you can’t have another party. take out his dad and aunt and other relatives for dinner and be done with it. let them know the other occasion is for his friends and your side of the family only.
its your sons big day. ask him.
I’d probably do what your son wants about it, and maybe not serve alcohol at his graduation party.
I could see it either way, though. On the one hand, a kitchen chair is replaceable if it means a lot to your son. The party is really for him, not you.
On the other hand, your question is making me flash back to Sandra Bullock playing the alcoholic ruining a family gathering at the start of “28 Days”, and you certainly have every right to not invite her to come ruin an expensive party.
I would go ahead and invite her, hopefully if she loves your son that much, she wouldn’t want to embarrass him, and make sure and have lots of non-alcoholic drinks available. Maybe try to greet her with a glass of lemonade or something at the door.
There are only going to be a few more times when you are obligated to have social events for your kids, and it should be his day too, so I’d just suck it up and pray for the best. Maybe she will surprise you and it will teach your son a great lesson on forgiveness.
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