My 16 yr old son wants to go away for the weekend. Should I let him?

10/12/2010 admin 37 comments

He is a very responsible kid. He is above average in school. He is not into drugs or alcohol. And believe me, I would know. He has an older sister who was into drugs I’d never heard of and we caught on very quickly. The friend he wants to go with is a nice kid when he comes to our house. I do know he has been in trouble in the past with drinking and the like. But he is always great when he’s here. His parents are complete nut jobs and he is the most normal person in his family. Examples: The father drinks heavily, Mom does pills. They would be driving from Connecticut to New Hampshire and staying with the other boy’s uncle, whom I do not know. My son and this boy did do a weekend camping in June about 20 miles away and there were no problems. Any thoughts?

ALCOHOLISM TREATMENT away, should, wants, weekend

Comments

Written by Luekas about 1 year ago.

Let him go. Can’t keep him at home forever.
Written by Chelsey S about 1 year ago.

yes if you dont you will never know if you can trust him
Written by fourcheeks4 about 1 year ago.

sure
Written by notAminiVANmama about 1 year ago.

I would not allow him to go, you can trust your son but it is other people you need to be scared of!
Written by switchfoot_freak86 about 1 year ago.

im sure u can trust em to go for the weekend
Written by guitlamo13 about 1 year ago.

believe me, you wouldnt know. its too easy to hide shit from parents these days. wayyyyy too easy. i say let him go
Written by alea about 1 year ago.

maybe you should call and speak to the uncle to make sure he would be watching out for them and that he knows they are coming.
Written by lady bird about 1 year ago.

I think I would trust him, but give him some guidelines before he leaves. I have all boys. All children will do better if they know what is expected of them and given a little trust. You know your son better than any of us here, so you will have to make that decision. In a couple of years he will be out on his own, he has to learn sometime…or it will be bad for you and him when he is older.
Written by Jonas_J about 1 year ago.

I would have a long phone conversation with the Uncle first. Talk to him about what the boys will be doing, and what kind of things you find acceptable. Mention all of the concerns you might have, including the drinking issues. If you feel good about things after the conversation, then give it a try.
Written by daydreamin_ashley about 1 year ago.

first of all i would like to say it sounds like you have a really great kid! You should considor yourself lucky there are not many kids like that now a days…. so be thank ful and for that i think that you got to come into reality, your son is growing up and you got to show him that you trust him…..lettibng him go away for the weekend may be hard for you but atleast its not forever, he will be comming home… My mother used to have a hard time letting me go on vacations with friends(and she knew half of them for like 10 years or more)… so i know what you mean but you should let him go give it a try there will be adult supervision so its not like they are totaly alone…. he will really like it iof you trust him! hope that my opinion was to some use for you… good luck and im sure that you will make the right choice and remember NO MATTER WHAT CHOICE YOU MAKE YOUR SON WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!
Written by m.cava about 1 year ago.

Sounds like he’s a responsible kid. I would go ahead and let him go if he has shown you he can be responsible and well behaved.
Written by mom of 2 about 1 year ago.

What the heck, let him go. This is his chance to prove you can trust him. Ask him to call when he gets there, at least you’ll know they made it safely.
Written by HHS_06_Graduate about 1 year ago.

sure let him go, if you feel that he will make the right decisions and he will be safe go head. but since he is 16 yrs old and plus he is a boy let him have fun
Written by darin1973 about 1 year ago.

give him plenty of money and a box of condoms and he will be just fine.
Written by Ames A about 1 year ago.

I remember my mom letting me go at that age. I was pretty good too. But somewhere there I took advantage of her and started lying. I would do stupid stuff like smoking and drinking when I went out. But played her pretty good. I am 31 now married with 4 kiddos and feel horrible…but kids will be kids. Give them an inch, they’ll take a foot.
Written by Gobshite666 about 1 year ago.

If it was my son i would let him go…..as at sometime you would have to let him anyway…you have to let him make his own mistakes…..and form his own oppinions on the way others act….you never know it may give him some insights in the exstremes of life…..just look at his friend…the way you discibe it he is dealing with it with some success!!!!
Written by newmommy2b about 1 year ago.

I would say let him go. He seems like a good influence for the other boy. He also seems trustworthy so you shouldn’t have anything to worry about. Have him call you every morning and night while he’s away jsut to check-up. You said they’d been out for a weekend before so everything should be fine. I know it’s your job, but try not too worry too much, it seems like you have a good kid.
Written by Ottorecall about 1 year ago.

Let him go, the trip will be a good experience for him.
Written by bpember744@sbcglobal.net about 1 year ago.

There is no way a 16 year old should go to strangers for a weekend! Some towns do not even allow 16 years olds out after curfew! They should be supervised! And not by the “Nut Job Parents!” Going out of State! No Way! Most kids friends are ‘Nice’ when in front of the parents, so this is no indication of what will go on out of sight. I’d also ask why they need to go so far away, and to wait until they turn 18, to go to another State! At the very least I’d call the uncle, and his wife if he has one…….and find out what’s going on! Anything could happen, they could be picked up for curfew and you’d have to drive a State away to get him. This is simply too far away into the unknown for this to be a good idea! Do NOT be afraid to say NO! Sorry kids!
Written by may_minu about 1 year ago.

parents deeds should not effect kids friendships, even if u dont trust his friends/his parents atleast trust ur son let him go and observe …..i think it should not be aproblem
Written by this old man about 1 year ago.

U KNOW THE FACTS BETTER THAN WE, WHAT DOES YOUR GUT TELL YOU!

With that said, Congratulations on doing a good job with your son!
NOW, remember that we are influenced but EVERYONE around us in a positive OR negative way. Do you and your son speak honestly and openly about everything? Sex, drugs, stealing etc. Good kids do bad things because they are human NOT because they are bad. He will make mistakes, just try to help him learn the lessons and he is ready to start using his wings. Sometimes we have to be parents, sometimes good listeners, sometimes mentors, sometimes life guides.
The only part of this story that worries me is that his friends parents sound very immature. I would be very concerned with that. It is soooo tempting to hang with those type of people when you are a teen. It always seems cool, especially if the parents act like teenagers themselves. They might be a VERY BAD influence on him. That worries me. His friend behaving well at your house sounds like respect to me. He might be respectful at your house but it sounds like he cant respect himself. Is he teaching this to your son? Opposites attract.
MY OPINION————Don’t let him go, but discuss the situation regarding his friends family first and your concerns. If he insists, maybe tell him you will consider it and have to think it through a bit. Give him a parents(yours) perspective. Your concern for his safety,health etc. Ask him to see it from your eyes.
You sound like a GREAT mom. Don’t let ANYTHING get between you and your son. You will be his rock in the high seas of life.
Written by baddrose268 about 1 year ago.

Yeah let him.
Written by jaco about 1 year ago.

What the heck, you should let him. if there were no problems on the camping trip you should let him go. You do have a point about your son going to the other boys uncle’s house. Hopefuly he is a resposible adult. can’t help you there.
Written by Done'n'dusted about 1 year ago.

Definetely let him go! Remember adolescence is the hardest time of our lives and when you shut down a perfectly reasonable adventure after just explaining how wonderful your son is, how do you think he will feel? He’ll feel like he can never do enough to impress you and that’s when the problems will start. Give him a chance to earn your trust and have some fun at the same time. He needs the chance to be a kid before he’s older and will have soo much more to deal with in life without even knowing how to look after himself away from home.
Written by ken9sam about 1 year ago.

if i was in your situation I would trust my gut we never listen to that small voice and we end up regreating it. God has given us women the gift of intuision but most don’t listen if we listen more we would go through less turmoil. Do what your think is right and not what other people say because this your son and I’m sure he is the most important thing in your life.
Written by answer man about 1 year ago.

let him go BUT BEFORE HE LEAVES TELL HIM IM TRUSTING U TO MAKE RIGHT CHOICES AND THINK . THIS WAY HE FEELS THAT HE DOES NOT WANT TO BETRAY U. good luck momy
Written by mkeharr about 1 year ago.

Well if you so say no (which I really couldn’t blame you for being worried), he might just turn on you. If he really is a good kid, there shouldn’t be a problem. I would ask for phone #’s and addresses with names of where he is staying. Making sure he keeps contact with you while you are gone. I would give fair warning, that this is a showing of his trust.

At that age if you tell them no, they want it more.
Written by Francis s about 1 year ago.

hes too young if you don’t know the poeple he is staying with then i don’t support it
Written by Smartassawhip about 1 year ago.

I seem to be in the minority because I think it would be a bad idea to let your son go on the trip. There are a number of reasons for my opinion.

First, just because his friend acts nice with you doesn’t mean a thing. Many kids who are irresponsible do that to impress their friend’s parents.

I used to work as a R.N. on a psych. unit for many years and most times when the parents have problems, so do the kids. When you say “he is the most normal one in the family”, what you really mean is that he “seems” normal when he is with you.You say that your son’s friend has had problems in the past with “drinking and the like”. That’s not a good sign.

I suspect that your son’s friend is also 16 y/o. It is a big difference letting them drive 20 miles to go camping than to let them drive to a different state. At 16 y/o, your son and his friend are new drivers and are at the highest risk for having car accidents. And your son’s friend has a history of drinking!

You say that your son’s friend’s parent’s are “nut jobs”. Well, the uncle is part of the family, and you have never met him and know nothing about him!

The more that I think about it, the more the idea of you letting your son go on the trip, scares me to death! It seem to me that it is a recipe for disaster! I would never let my 16 y/o son go on that trip! Even if he is responsible, his friend is suspect and so is the uncle.

After your son is 18 y/o, has 2 more years of driving experience, and is better able to not let irresponsible friends influence his behavior, would I let him go on a trip like that.

Those people who said that if you said no to your son that he would only want to more and that he might do something behind your back make no sense. If you used that logic you would never say “no” to anything! Unfortunately, many parents in this country have come to believe that stupid idea.
Written by shaichele about 1 year ago.

I don’t know maybe I’m wrong, sounds like to me you’ve answered your own question. If you didn’t hear yourself, you said no. How do you know what happen on the camping trip? If you keep asking for trouble, its going to answer you. Have you ever heard of guilt by association? This is not even a friendship that I would have even encouraged from day one. Be sure to pray while your child is on the road and away.
Written by JOANNA about 1 year ago.

I have 2 sons . One is 22 and the other is 16.. The oldest had some really questionable friends when he was 16 but the boys were very respecful and never did anything in my home..They also had parents that drank..One of his friends still drinks and he is a very intelligent young man now …Just not too smart when it comes to common sense..
Of course I made sure that they were forewarned if anything came into our home , that that would be the last time..These boys were always little angels when they came over but outside of my home , they were not…

I believe that you should ask yourself and do a little more homework on a few things…

1. Who is the uncle anyway… I would 1st talk to the uncle and get some more info about his lifestyle….
2. No offense but just because your sons friend is good when he comes to your house , doesn’t mean he will be that way elsewhere..Especially at another family members home..
Has he got into any trouble since the camping trip…
3. Is your son a LEADER or FOLLOWER?? Can he make desicions without the crowd pressuring him…
4.In a legal sense , if something happens when he is gone ,( ex.. they get into a drinking binge and your son is hospitalized.. of course it all hypothetical)then not only is the uncle responsible, so are you for letting him go..

my 16 year old does get some room to exercize his freedom but I still make the last desicion regardless of what he thinks and if I feel its not good for him, then he doesn’t do it period…

Yes . alot of parents and people feel that 16 is old enough to allow them to explore their freedom more and to a point that is true… Its also the age where they will experiment more and good sense can go out the window…

They are easily swayed at this age and can /will do things sometimes just to fit in….

I would 1st do some deeper homework on uncle,the friend ( has he been in trouble since camping trip,how long is the stay, and making sure that your son has way to communicate with you IF you let him go…

Regardless of how others see it, you are still the parent and you are still responsible if something does happen…

If my 16 year old ask if he could go , I would do the things I listed 1st and then make a desicion based on the info I got..

Hope this helped you and good luck
Written by John B about 1 year ago.

if your lucky he may stay away
Written by Rachel about 1 year ago.

Only let him to if you trust your sons judgement.
Written by Sharon M about 1 year ago.

I agree with Jonas_J…call the uncle and find out more about the weekend until you feel comfortable, express your concerns. Also, I suggest you call the nutty parents and outline your expectations as well. And you should have your son call you when he arrives, and each day, including calling when he leaves. Make sure you have everyone else’s contact information And tell your son, of course, about your expectations…no drinking, drugs and to “make good choices!”
Written by graceteffon about 1 year ago.

If I were you, I wouldn’t let him go. Sure, you can’t “hold on” to him forever, but you want him to be safe. His dad is a drunk and his mom is on pills, you say? Protect him. He may be upset at the beginning but he will forget about it later, and you will have your son save and in your arms.
Written by happy about 1 year ago.

yeah, whats the worst that can happen.
Written by kjdfbgjk f about 1 year ago.

let him go. hes starting to grow up. if you keep him in all the time he will start hating you, and just doing whatever he feels like behind your back. just trust him, and let him know you trust him.

but if you are really worried alot about him and his friend, maybe you can take them places sometimes, so you dont have to worry about them being with the friend’s family much.

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