Hi this is a serious question so please spare me any insults or rhetoric because I’m not here for that. I have used marijuana regularly,
and responsibly (not a single drug related arrest or charge in my life)
since I was 13 years old. I am now 19, soon to be 20, and have had a pretty bad addiction to painkillers since about mid-2007. Allow me to elaborate. I used to drink quite a bit and was into coke for a little while, and I was addicted to methamphetamine for a few months as well. However, I ate and slept regularly and didn’t become an entirely tweaked out loser… I decided to put it behind me, as with alcohol, cigarettes, and coke, I just stuck with pot. I still haven’t indulged…
My ex-girlfriend whom I broke up with just last week has a prescription for amphetamine salt, and though I had been offered many times, never once took it. At any rate, near the end of 2007, I was introduced to hydrocodone by a friend who also had no idea of it’s powers.
I began to snort them, and clean my house, do the dishes, etc…
I was living with my grandmother then, and shortly after my introduction to painkillers, she died in October of 2007, leaving me completely alone to keep the trailer and pay the bills. I dropped out to try and keep myself afloat. Things had become very depressing.
I had been in a horrible relationship that ended in the worst possible way next to death, I missed my grandma, and I missed my childhood.
But I didn’t start shooting up, or robbing people, or anything like that.
I would just spend many a day chasing vicodin or percocet, snort them, be high for a little while, feel better for a fleeting hour or two, then wake up and do it all over again. Pot wasn’t even the same without pills. It got to the point where my brain would hurt if I went without them. It kept going and going… Eventually, I lost my place,
lost my job, but met a girl I hadn’t seen in years, whom I began to date and live with, just me and her, in a home her mother paid for. Obviously, the lack of impending bills gave me time to search for pills unencumbered. She liked speed and had a prescription, I was hooked on painkillers and had to cop them on the street…
On and on it went. I also began taking lorazepam, not so much to get high, but because it killed my anxiety and went with the pot and opioids very well. Even at this point, however, I never went over 20 or 30 milligrams of percocet or vicodin a night. I’ll cut to the chase-
My mom died of sirrhosis last March, and it didn’t help me at all.
It wasn’t like Eric Clapton devoting his sobriety to the loss of his son,
in fact, I did them even more to take away the pain.
I finally lost my girlfriend, I’m basically homeless, and I still have to have pills constantly. Yet I still won’t put a needle in my arm, not that it makes a huge difference. I have an oppurtunity to go and start anew with a relative a few hundred miles away from all this, and here’s my question-

To someone my age and in my situation, how feasible would it be for me to see a doctor and possible talk about getting on the Suboxone program? Please don’t think of this as an excuse or copout,
I’ve tried the depression pills, I’ve thought of rehab, I’ve tried cold turkey… It seems hopeless. I honestly think I would kill myself.
Suboxone has been a miracle for me. I take a quarter of one, orally, and I’m fine for a whole day, feeling happy, productive, hopeful.
It sound like one frying pan into another, but I honestly can say that if I was prescribed and treated with suboxone, I might be able to kick this addiction in a year or two, maybe less… I’ve heard it can be prescribed for depression, so, what I’m asking is would they laugh me out of the doctor’s office? Would a doctor even consider a case like mine?
I wake up and don’t even want to face the world when I am without opioids… It’s pathetic. I truly think if I was prescribed Suboxone and moved to my relatives, I could start a new era in my life. Please don’t think I’d be using this drug as a crutch… I believe it may be the only way… Rehab doesn’t work for some people, and I wouldn’t be selling or abusing it. I’m at the end of my rope, and thought maybe some doctors could give me their input or opinion on this situation.
Your time is greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

  • Share/Bookmark