my best friend has a son who is in prison…he gets to come home in june and he has four kids…the two boys are with a friend and the two girls are with their mother’s brother…the mother is also is in prison (for 2 months now) for shoplifting and possession of cocaine…the brother has to go to a custoday hearing in 4 days and if they can’t find a bigger place for all the children (5 total) they will lose the two girls….my best friend asked me if i would move in with her and help her raise the two girls until their dad gets out of prison…i’ve been talking to him and i kind of plan on being with him when he comes home but i’ve never met him personally…i know everyone in his whole entire family, however, and they are the best people in the whole world…i’m only 22 years old and i have no kids of my own…i don’t know if i’m really ready for this responsibility yet or not so if you were in my shoes, what would you do? i’m so confused.
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Written by ithek_thundervoice about 1 year ago.
Well I don’t think I would but I’m not in your situation. What did the guy do to get in jail? you might want to look at that. Thats alot of kids and you are very young. Do you want that sort of responsibility? Think this through very throughly.
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Written by farvfrumpuken about 1 year ago.
How do you plan on being with someone if you’ve never met them? At least met the guy and see if he’s what you hoped for. I think you’re probably going way over your head in responsibility in this and you’re probably going to wish that you never did it in the long run.
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Written by willieearlramon about 1 year ago.
If you are not also a criminal why do you want to be yoked to one?
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Written by soniaatcalifornia about 1 year ago.
Do you have any idea what the hell you are getting yourself into????? Think and read me back what you just wrote us. Im not trying to be insutlting but how much education have you had in this life? It dosnt take much to see how screwy this is. Besides what kind of life is a “felon” going to provide you in the first place???? He cant ever find a good job because of his record. You dont have much wisdom enough to “get it” yet but if you start this relationship you start aquiring the wisdom (maybe) and learn from it. Maybe not. Geezzzz, what are doing?????? Wow!
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Written by mompoo about 1 year ago.
I would not do this. Just because his entire family is the best in the world, doesn’t mean he will be. Taking on a ready made family with a man you don’t even know, is very, very stupid. Especially being only 22. If you want to get to know this person after he gets out of jail, fine. But I wouldn’t recommend that either.
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Written by creation about 1 year ago.
How do you know the family but have never met him. 5 children is a very big responsibilty to take on. what about the mother of the children she coudl be crazy. you dont need that type of drama…Wait until you actually meet this person before you decide to raise their children.
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Written by jlgrw about 1 year ago.
If he was in jail then he is not likely a good responsible person. If you are having doubts then I say that you are not ready for a responsibilty like that. I personally wouldnt be with someone because they need me to help raise their kids. They should be responsible enough to do it themselves and if their not then that says alot about them. Im a 25 year old single mother of a 7 year old and Ive been doing it by myself for 3.5 years now. It’s a big test.
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Written by snoopy22564 about 1 year ago.
not sure what you mean by your planning on being with him but have never met him? Are you talking about being his partner? It’s hard to give advice on this decision because I am unclear as to whether you like or love this guy or what your relationship with him is. Here’s the best I can say You have no obligation to do this if you don’t feel that you want to or are ready to and you shouldn’t feel like you have to do it. If you do it I would say to make it clear that you are trying it out on a temporary basis say six months and that after that you may agree to either leave or stay on another six months. This way you have an out if this turns out really bad. I admire that you want to help these kids who are really the victims here and need a stable home and love.
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Written by papajackelope about 1 year ago.
How old is he? What kind of bond have you formed with him being in prison? My wife’s son’s dad is in prison. She barely knew him when he went in. He’s been in for 11 years now. She held on to him for 7 of those. I know your situation is quite different, but you have to ask yourself how serious you’ve already decided to get. Be honest with yourself. Are you going to have any regrets? Are there plans or goals you have that might be messed with by starting a family? Are you willing to trade that for a life with someone that may or may not be an addict. I only say that because most of my family has been in prison/jail for various drug offenses. My sis’s husband just got out and it was a second offense. Left her with four kids for 3 years. We adopted a child she had while her man was in prison. The people are probably wonderful, but remember you choose the life you lead. I wouldn’t trade my family for the world, but you will sacrifice alot.
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