I’ve had enough of this, and yet still don’t know what to do?

08/11/2010 admin 5 comments

I have 3 biological sisters (all different fathers) however the oldest one and myself were left with my maternal grandmother when I was an infant so my mother could be with her “soul mate.” Because of that we grew up knowing our Grandparents as our Mom & Dad. My sister always went back and forth because she used guilt to get what she wanted from our mother and pity from our grandparents. I never felt the need to do this because from the time I came home from the hospital, my grandparents cared for me and my aunts & uncles saw me as their baby sister rather than a niece. In 2008 our grandparents died, and I felt like no one really understood me because well, they were my only parents and I couldn’t just go to my mother as if nothing had ever happened between us. My sister married @ 17, and after 13 years of marriage, she had an affair and as a result became pregnant and passed the child (my nephew) as her husbands kid. We all advised her to NOT do this but being the selfish person she is, she only thought of herself. After 3 years she left him to be with another man (who was also married) and her first husband is the primary caregiver of a child that he did not father. She immediately had a second child then a third. I love her kids to death and will do anything for them… BUT I feel like she uses her kids to get what she wants from everyone. My mother is very passive, and does not want to talk or even have any one of us bring up anything negative about my sister who is also a drug addict and over all bad mother. Finally after years of having to come to her rescue I’ve decided enough is enough. The straw that broke the camels back was on Wednesday when my daughter and I are at wal-mart and receive a call from the daycare center she sends the soon to be 1 yr old baby girl. Mind you that she nor her “man” work but still send all three kids to daycare. Anyway, the daycare (who provides transportation) calls me (her emergency contact) because there will be no transportation and they tried contacting her but the number was no longer working, and they needed someone to pick up the baby because they were about to close. I call her and the number IS working, I call our mother and as always she gives excuses (maybe she’s in the shower/asleep/outside etc.) Finally I just decide to go pick up the baby and take her home. As I pull up to the daycare my sister calls me and says “Were you calling me?” At this point I’m furious and I let her know what’s going on… all she says is “Okay” I pick up the baby and take her to my sisters house. I am greeted by an uncle, and as I make my way up the steps, my sister comes out with her hair in a towel and attempts to take the baby only to make her cry. I ask her why her “man” never answered the phone when we were calling and she says “The daycare doesn’t even have this number so we didn’t know they weren’t bringing her home” All I can think of is “WHO THE HELL DOES THAT… NOT GIVE A CURRENT NUMBER TO THOSE WHO ARE CARING FOR YOUR CHILDREN????” I told her that next time I get a call for her not picking up the baby I’m going to call CPS and take her kids from her. I talk to my mother about this and she will change the conversation. IDK WTF to do with them… I can’t reason with them, I’m a bad person for wanting to call CPS, and I most definitely can’t get them to see why my sister is wrong for being such a lazy b:tch.
Sorry it’s so long.
My Mother is involved because she, my step-father, our uncle and a number of other people are all helping her raise her kids. This is what I mean when I say that she uses the kids to get what she wants. My mother is ALWAYS there to pick up the pieces when my sister screws up. They buy her pampers, clothes for the kids, gave her furniture when she moved to her new place etc. Idk if my mother does this out of guilt or what but everyone knows my sister as an ungrateful moocher who can’t stand on her own two feet. I don’t want her kids to end up in foster care because I know what it does to kids having adopted two myself. If I knew that CPS would guarantee me that the kids would come with me I would do it and proudly tell her it was me.

SON'S DRUG ABUSE QUESTIONS don't, enough, I've, know, still, this

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Written by ThatGirl about 2 years ago.

Thats beyond not okay. Dont let your mother in on this, shes making excuses for something she shouldnt even be a part of. Your sister’s kids dont have a stable family, they probably dont even have a stable househould. You sound like a good aunt. And I know you love your nieces/nephews…therefore, you should call CPS. Or if you dont want to be the one to do it, maybe let the daycare in on whats going on and they will do it. that way nobody will have to know it was you or blame you. I dont want you to go through more heart and headache with your family. But do contact CPS anyway you can. The children need something a little better than what their mother has to offer them
Written by Jena about 2 years ago.

I know what it’s like to have to be the mature sister, even though neither of my sisters nor myself have children. You obviously care about your nieces and nephews, so when you can, continue to help them. I really can’t put myself in your shoes, but let your sister know that you mean business when you say that you will call CPS on her if she doesn’t “step her game up.” As far as the paternity case is concerned, leave that as is…whatever is done in the dark will eventually come to light. The man may always have a connection with her and even though he isn’t the biological father, his love for her can’t die abruptly, so he will continue caring for her.

God will bless you for caring.
Written by Larry about 2 years ago.

I do not think you would be wrong to do this, for the child . She seems to care much about that child as your mom did for you. Your mother takes up for her, because the simple fact she is just like your mother. So, you being a caring person , do her child a favor and make the call. She seems to have only time for her self, and not time to worry about the main person that should be in her life, so your wrong the child needs to be some where to get the Love it needs. Good Luck
Written by KB about 2 years ago.

CALL
SOCIAL
SERVICES

That woman is not fit to be a mother, and they may give custody to you, or another caring family member. But your sister is not fit to be a mother, adn the best thing for that child is to get her out of that situation. My heart breaks for that poor little girl!!
Written by Carlos about 2 years ago.

1 it is what it is , and you well now that she could care less about it , so if you do make that call do it anonimously and keep that for your self , tell no one that you made that call , that could cause a lot of trouble down the road , and i think you knowing the kids are being taking care of in a foster home you feel better , they dont work ? so be it , they do drugs ? so be it , you want to take acction ? the best way i see is do what you have to do and remain the mistery person and act surprised when you hear about it , i am telling you she might not come after you but the no good husband might , so anonimety is the best way to go , the courts now what to do , so remember it is what it is , you have a choice or way to change it , so go for it and remain , the invisyble person that made that phone call

How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

I’ve had enough of this, and yet still don’t know what to do?

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