Ok, I’m sorry this may be a bit long, but I could really use some advice. So I am 22 years old and have been with my boyfriend since I was 17. I was a kid when we first got together, and didn’t make the best decisions. He asked me out and I agreed even though he was 21 years old, dropped out of school when he was 16, lived with his parents, hadn’t worked in nearly a year, and was a huge pot head. I know, it sounds terrible… and if someone like that asked me out now I wouldn’t go near the guy – but I had just turned 17 and pretty much saw him as a cute older guy and that was initially why I agreed to go out with him. What made me stay with him was because he was sweet, funny, and I really loved being with him, even if he was a huge loser – and before long we had a son – which is why i am with him today. I’m not a kid anymore and I know he wouldn’t be considered a “catch” for any woman.

A lot of times I really regret this decision because most of the time it seems like our relationship is so horrible. He just got a job a couple of months ago, but I keep finding marijuana in my house. I didn’t mind the weed when I was young but we have a 3 year old son now and he needs to stop his childish habits like chewing tobacco (which is disgusting and he just suddenly started doing this out of the blue last month) smoking cigarettes, and the weed. I feel like I am with a 15 year old. I really thought when our son was born he would grow up and be more responsible, but he just didn’t. No matter how much I tell him I don’t want these things in my life, and definitly not my sons life – he doesn’t care and does them anyway. We have very different opinions about these things – I believe drugs are wrong and idiotic, and he and the rest of his family doesn’t. His family just looks the other way and doesn’t care. He finally got a job (he hasn’t had one in over a year and a half – while I work full time and go to school full time) and I fear he could lose his job.

I love him, but sometimes I just feel like he is literally stupid. Why can’t he see my reasoning for why it is important to live with out doing these things. I know that its just weed, its not crack or anything but i still don’t want it around me – and nowhere near my son. I have found weed in my car before, and I am afraid if I am ever pulled over I could get in trouble for it, and I don’t want that to affect my ability to find a job when I get out of school. I have already completed over half of the nursing program. I always thought when I was out of school he would go to school and change his ways and all would be fine. But he always hangs out with his brother who sells the stuff, and as long as he is around Im sure he wont stop with the drugs.

Sorry it was so long, can someone give me some advice? –Trust me this version of our relationship so WAY condensed, I could write a hundred pages on all of our problems -which i know is a bad thing.

I am considering trying to get full sole and physical custody of our son because I don’t believe he is a fit parent. He has more that one domestic violence charge against me, and I feel that those charges plus the his unsteady work history (failure to provide financially for our son), and his drug use could give me a chance the get full custody. Does anyone know if that is enough to make him an unfit parent, or get me full custody of my son?

sorry, i understand if no one wants to read this long entry