My ex wife and i are divorced because my ex got violent and became an alcoholic shortly after giving birth to my son. And well against my better judgment about a month ago i let my ex take my son and well she put him into the hospital for a week. And i have full custody of my son now. And well my fiancee has been more or less the only true mother to him. But lately my son has gotten very violent towards her and refuses to let her come within 5 feet of him with out throwing a fit. He has also started grabbing his penis a lot and whenever she or i change him he grabs it and tugs so hard on it makes me cringe. And he has started to refuses to bathe with her and will only take bathes with me. He sobs anytime he see’s her and i do not know what to do. And well the only way he will sleep is if he sleeps with me. And at night he always comes in and curls up next to me and goes back to sleep. I am not sure what to do i love my son more then anything but i am not sure if this is healthy or not. I trust my fiancee more then anything and i am 110% sure she has never done anything inappropriate to my son or anything like that. She is very protective of him and loves him like one of her own. She is pregnant with her first and my 2nd so i know she will make a great mom. Advice?
-
Written by moody dude about 2 years ago.
get your son therapy now before he destroys what you have with your new lady. He is intimidated by females and it wont get better on its own. Seek professional help right away.
-
Written by Trey about 2 years ago.
If this is true and not a troll question, it sounds like she could be abusing your son. It’s VERY difficult to think of the person you love being capable of that, but look at what your ex did to your son. Just because she is pregnany doesn’t mean she’ll be a great mom, and your son suddenly becoming violent towards her and behaving the way he is just screams abuse.
This bothers me. He is young enough to get over this and have no memory of it, but if you turn a blind eye to it, you could be talking about YEARS of abuse that goes unnoticed because you refuse to believe something that may be possible. This could potentially ruin his life; I see it every day in my office. I suggest you see a counselor, privately, and tell him all of this. Your son is your first priority and should be treated as such. I’m not saying your fiance is doing anything inappropriate, but there are red flags that should be looked into.
Good luck.
-
Written by Angela K about 2 years ago.
This would be a good point to talk to a professional. He’s young enough and old enough to begin healing properly. Maybe, because of what your ex has done to him, he’s terrified of women in general.
-
Written by 111 about 2 years ago.
yeah, right. ever heard about Munchhausen by proxy? obviously not. own mothers can hurt their own children. and she is not even his mother. do not fool yourself. smth is really, really, really wrong with your boy. u MUST, did u hear me? MUST contact a professional. u go to a nurse yearly check up with your son, right? contact this nurse. she will first make an appointment to a doctor to see your baby and then if a doctor thinks there is smth wrong he will appoint u to a psychologist. please do not neglect your little baby – he already was neglected by his mother, u re the only one he got! and u may ask the shrink about Munchhausen by proxy
-
Written by REMarriage about 2 years ago.
To tell you the truth I am not so sure its something with your son, sort of. You say your fiancee is pregnant. There is an old wives tale that claims that young children can tell the sex of the child in womb. If you know the sex it wouldn’t happen to be a boy would it? If you are not sure what sex then it may be a boy. For some reasons boys reject boys and can be hostile towards them in womb. Its weird but i have seen it happen a few times recently since i found out. It was even show with my wife and my best friends son. He avoided her completely.
The anger may be a problem that you can try and talk to him about it. Just be calm around him and he will begin to calm as well. Let him throw his tantrums and leave him be till he calms down. The mother might have instilled in him some resentment towards your fiancee or something along those lines. I know this is a little new agey but I have seen it to be pretty valid.
-
Written by sandman about 2 years ago.
Sounds to me more happen with his bio-mom then you actually know. And maybe he is acting out now towards ur fiance as if it was his bio-mom. Which would not be uncommon. He was hurt bad and prob. in more ways then one by his bio-mom and relates all women to that.
If I were you I would take my son to the pediatrician and explain it all to him. Have him refer you to a good therapist. Also Love him and be there like you have been. Also try to fix a connection between him and fiance. Do things he likes with her there. show him you love her, and trust her, and feel safe around her. See if he can follow through with same reaction which may take time..( and maybe try to be the one who corrects your son for a bit with things.) So he doesn’t continue to look at her as the bad guy. Try to tell him not to hurt himself the best you can, with his young age. And again I’m not saying your fiance did anything but after a while of you getting him help and he still does not come around, start taking his actions to heart and investigate for your sons safety. -
Written by meg about 2 years ago.
hate to break it to ya but no 2 year old should be sleeping with their parent, especially under your circumstances. it seems as though he’s just trying to dominate her, let her know he comes first (which wouldn’t be bad, he is your son) but the way he’s showing it is inappropriate.
you should probably speak to a therapist without him there, see what the therapist says (maybe they’ll want to see son & fiancee interact at a certain time, etc). the other VERY important issue is the new pregnancy, your son’s actions cannot be tolerated with a newborn in the picture!!
hopefully you & FI have spoken at length about this. if not, do so ASAP. GL.
-
Written by Blueskies about 2 years ago.
It is absolutely normal for a 2-year-old to throw fits. To be quite honest, he may not come out of it until he is almost 5. But it is NOT normal for him to be tugging on his private parts. You need to get him checked out by a physician ASAP and see what is wrong.
-
Written by Diane Just Got Married!!! about 2 years ago.
The main thing you HAVE to do…is to stand together with the woman you love….united, regardless of what your son is doing. He is not striking out at your fiancee…..he is angry with violence he suffered at the hands of his mother….a woman and he is exhibiting bad behavior to see how far he can push your fiancee into hitting him. Your son, unfortunately, has a lack of trust and also has the need for physical pain to get attention and love. It is an association/emotional problem.
Give him some time and possibly, some counseling so that he can express his anger towards his mother.
DO NOT coddle your son to make up for what his mother did. Maintain being the head of the house and set limitations for your son. He needs them to feel loved. If you over-compensate for what his mother did, out of fear…..you will inadvertently give him control over you, your home, your relationship, and he will never respect you or your fiancee. He still needs discipline……but give him reassurance, but set boundaries and if he crosses those boundaries….he needs to be disciplined. He is also exhibiting “attention seeking behavior” by trying to shock you and your fiancee. Ignore it……he will stop….tell him his behavior is unacceptable and send him to HIS room.
He should NEVER sleep with you….ever. For one, that is against the law and can be construed as a form of child abuse. Plus, psychologically, you are telling him that he matters more in your life then anything or anyone else. And that is wrong. He has his room….he is to use it.
If you feel that he is a danger to himself and/or others……he will need professional help…..as much as it may hurt…..you may be too close to help him overcome the security that his mother never gave him. But his actions are NOT because of your fiancee….he is just taking his anger out on her and it is up to you to stand by her and stand up for her…even to your son. He needs to know that you love him and that you love your fiancee. Your fiancee will love you more for it and it will make your relationship stronger. It will take time….be patient.
Recent Posts
- How do i tell my partner i want to split up?
- My son cheated on his girlfriend and I caught him!?
- Senior week for 18 yr. old son?
- My mom is drunk, upset my son.. do you think she needs help?
- How do i get it through my son’s head that if he keeps up what he is doing he could hurt himself and lose…?
- Should my son be punished?
- Is it normal for a 24 year old to be friends with a 16 year old?
- Alcohol free, Perfume free, dye free Moisturizers?
- Alcohol Carding at grocery store?
- is my son a sociopath?
- Should I let my step son see his biological mom?
- Son left blue pen in a pocket and it ended up in the dryer, damaging a favourite sweater with ink?
- Mother trying to get her son back…HELP!!?
- Family issues with husband,son and myself?
- Should I let my step son see his biological mother?
Comments