no you arent wrong but wouldntl it be against the law to prevent him from seeing his son? or are you doing that because he wont acknowledge his daughter and refused those counseling sessions?

well i mean as long as you wont get in trouble with the law do it… if not you will be forced to…

edit: ok umm after rereading that cant you make HIM come to pick the kids up? why do you have to go there and get them back…

but to answer your question yes you are right but not according to the law…

well then he is not a true man if he doesn’t want both of your kids. i think you should leave him and don’t put your kids through this because it is really not worth breaking there heart both. i may not be in a marriage and am am a kid but that is really the fact.

I very much sympathize with you and can understand how you feel but I do think that you are wrong for withholding visitation with your son. In the eyes of the court, you are committing a MAJOR offense, he is not as long as he pays child support for your daughter. You have to separate moral behaviour from legal behavior since you may end up back in court over this on and he is going to win. You are alienating his child from him, the child he wants to see. He is very wrong also, but you cant control what another person does, you can only control your actions. He is attached to your son, he lived with him and bonded with him, he has no emotional attachment to your daughter. It was probably very painful for him when you left with his child and maybe he doesnt want to bond with her so as to avoid hurt that comes with emotional attachment Yes, he should be in counselling to deal with this-but you cannot force him even though there it was written in a court order. I guess you could try and take him back to court for contempt but I think that would be a waste of time and money, I doubt they will force it on him if he doesnt want to have a relationship with her, that is his choice to make – not yours, sad as it may be. On the other hand, the courts do take very very seriously when one parent withholds visitation from the other. the court WANTS each parent to encourage the child’s a relationship with the other parent and the court does not look favorably on the parent who keeps children from the other parent. that is what you are doing with your son. So, basically, he is doing wrong by your little girl but the court wont care too much about that as long as he pays his child support. But you are alienating your son from his father, and the court WILL care about that and you are the one who will be reprimanded if he ever decides to take this to court.

first off if he doesn’t want to be in her life dont’ try to force him. it would be worse for her to go there because he was forced to take her than if he just said he wants he there. i understand that she would have questions to why her dad doesn’t want to be her dad but there is no way that you can honestly answer that because you truly don’t know what he thinks about it even if he has told you. feelings change and his issues will to. so when she asks all you can do is tell her you don’t know and you have tried to understand but you love her and you’re there for her. eventually she will be old enough to confront him on her own to find out from him but until then she just really needs your support because i’m sure it hurts her to know that her dad only wants her brother not her. you need to explain that it’s not her fault and teach her that it’s not her brother’s fault either. you don’t want her to try to take it out on him. as for your ex getting help thats really complicated because he can agree and go to counselling and all but then does he really want it. if he doesn’t nothing will come from it but a bunch of wasted time. not to mention people are good at telling other people what they want to hear so that can help him slide thru any counseling issues. i understand you love your children and this is difficult for all of you but don’t hold your son away from him over the situation unless there is something you can say is causing him to be at risk. i have seen a great parent lose custody over holding their child because the father wouldn’t complete a court ordered class. I know it’s crazy but it does happen and that would be worse for you than anything. If you must keep him from your son until he gets help you can file papers on your own without a lawyer so it is way much cheaper and that would help you because that covers your butt. you also do not need to use a lawyer to file for him being in conetmpt for not getting help and refusing to see your daughter. i myself have been divorced and my ex is an alcoholic and is not allowed to see our daughters if he has been drinking prior or during the visit. we also live in a different stat than he does and not once does he ever say he is going to be there to pick up our girls for his visit. the only time he has contact with them is when he is with someone so he can look like hes a good father (incase they have kids together) and then when a mutual friend asks him how the kids are he will call he lies to them when he does have contact and i have looked into getting his rights taken. many people tell me not to because the kids will hate me but how can they hate me if im taking away something they never really new they had. people also say that i will lose that child support if his rights are taken but money will never be more important to me than my childrens feelings. i have made the choice that is best for my children and before i did that i talked to them and asked then how they feel and thats what you should do too. talk with you kids make sure you all know what is going on and just really make sure thay know you love them. that is the most important thing you could ever do for them. you can not protect them from all that their father does but you can sure help them thru it.