I don’t want a hungover woman to watch my infant son, is that too much to ask?

21/12/2010 admin 9 comments

My son is five months old. My mother is an alcoholic. She said she would take care of him. I said “You can’t drink on nights where you watch him the next morning.” She’s is very angry with me now. Am I right? Am I not his parent? Should I not worry about such things? Someone please give me some insight. I am now paying for a babysitter because my mother refuses to listen to reason. Which is fine. I’ll do it. But I don’t want to listen to her whine for the next 10 years.

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Written by Jason Starship about 1 year ago.

No, it’s not. You need to tell her she’s not right to watch him.
Written by Squire about 1 year ago.

You are right…..being hungover does not mean you are not still drunk, very often you are. And anyway, when you are hungover, you are essentially suffering the effects of poisoning, so would you let someone recovering from food poisoning watch you kid…No, they are sick and not functioning properly.
Written by Shane about 1 year ago.

when it comes to ur child, you are always right to have those feelings. You need to get some one who is fit to your needs and standards.
Written by Dan Foracer about 1 year ago.

Let her read the following: You are crankier when you’re having a hangover. A kid doesn’t need your absence because of your crankiness OR your crankiness. Your daughter is absolutely correct to not want you to watch her child when you’re like that. Save her some money by simply not drinking when babysitting, ok? Be a good grandmother and put yourself in your grandchilds life again. Stop drinking at all for crying out loud. Grape juice is better for you than wine.
Written by Chase's Mama about 1 year ago.

Your mother seems like she could use some rehab if she can’t quit drinking long enough to watch her own grandchild. Your doing the right thing by paying a babysitter & making sure your child is in the right care it would be too late if something bad happened to your son in your mothers care. Who cares if she wines for the next 10 years!? tell her that if she plans on being apart of you & your baby’s life then she needs to give up the alcohol.
Written by kat about 1 year ago.

I wouldn’t let an alcoholic watch my child either. I would just tell your mother that she has to choose between the booze and her grandchild. You may have to listen to her whine about it, but if she is that bad then I would just cut off communication with her. Your child’s safety is more important than your mom’s feelings.
Written by Leslie about 1 year ago.

My mother is an alcoholic and has been struggling with the disease for quite some time. When I was pregnant, I told her in no uncertain terms that she would not be alone with my son, unless she had gone to rehabilitation and gotten sober. It might make you feel guilty because you know it hurts your mother to hear it, but it’s the best thing you can do for all three of you. Never trust your son with any person that can not be trusted 100 percent.
Written by Stanton about 1 year ago.

You are right. You “should” respect and follow your parent(s) wishes, but this is one time you are right and she is wrong. Your baby needs YOU not a babysitter. I realize some women have to work, they have no choice. If there is anyway possible, stay home, do not work. Your and your baby will be better off, happier, and typically healthier. By building a strong bond and relationship between you and your baby, you will make your family strong, your baby will have a better future and Society will benefit as well. I hope this helps. By the way I am happily married for 21 years now. I worked at night until 2 years ago. We have 2 daughters ages 15 and 19. My wife works in the day. Our children had at least 1 birth-parent with them 24-7! They NEVER went to a “baby warehouse” (daycare) and nobody ever had control over them except me and my wife. They are in the top 2% of Americas brightest students (they have the awards and plaques) 1 is in college now, the other headed that way. She is 15, in 10th. grade and doing college courses! I hope this helps you to make good parenting decisions.
Written by lovemyfamily about 1 year ago.

No your perfectly right. Its normal to have that feeling.. You need to tell your mother firmly, that you have made the decision and you are not budging on this situation. Unless she meets you halfway then she wont be getting your son. Simple.

Can i also point out to though, that my mother is an alcoholic. openly admits it. She wakes up at 8 has a coffee, then a beer. or Vodka if she is working. i kid you not. you can never EVER tell when she is drunk, or has been drinking. She seems 100% sober. Its like alcohol is her blood now. I have had no troubles letting her watch my baby. And when she (mum) stays here she always asks to take her in the morning so me n hubby can sleep in a little longer. My mum doesnt get hangovers. i dont know the extent your mum is at. But there is a possibility that like my mum she doesnt seem affected by the alcohol.
I most likely will get thumbs down for this, but i dont mind. im telling the truth. i support your decision. But for me, as a daughter to an alcoholic i have no problem with it whatsoever.
My mum has been drinking heavily for 29 years and wont stop. we all accept it.

i guess it might be different if my mum was aggressive/ incoherant/ unsteady ectwhilst drunk. if she had any of those ‘bad drunk behaviours’ i would feel the same as you

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I don’t want a hungover woman to watch my infant son, is that too much to ask?

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