As you are on SSD, you must be on Medicare. Medicare pays for therapy. I suggest you seek out a professional social worker or psychologist to work with in therapy to deal with your own stress.

Besides offering to accompany your daughter-in-law to Alanon & speaking to your son as I described; you can be a positive adult model for your grandson. Become close to him if not already. Do things with him…if you are able take him on outings.
Talk about how to be with your grandson in therapy & at Alanon for suggestions.

Don’t just stay in your room…be a great grandmother. You can’t make your son stop drinking if he doesn’t want to & especially if your daughter-in-law enables your son.

My best to you.

The poor grandson is a victim.

You need to find a new place to stay, perhaps a rent
subsidized apartment for the elderly.

Once you have found a place, call social services.

They can choose to live that way, but they can not
force your grandson to live in that environment.

Calling social services will cause a worker to intervene.

The wife will not have a choice but to get it together,
or they will remove the child from her.

Best wishes

well u go to al-anon so why don’t you talk to someone there about it as well.

for your daughter in law jus let her know that she is always welcome to go along to the meetings and that she should maybe go once to see how it is and that if she really doesn’t like it she can walk out at anytime.
but it must be painful for her because it will bring up her parents alcoholism and bring up all the emotions that she is probably trying to avoid.

your grandson well maybe you could try and talk to your daughter in law. and when it does happen just remove your grandson from the environment take him out or to your room etc

stay strong and say the serenity prayer!!!