how to deal with a substancially diffucult childhood and be normal?

04/10/2010 admin 4 comments

well my mum is an alcoholic and thank god she has not drank for 4 years,i am 24 she is 46. I have seen alot in my young age and i have not forgotten much of these so called “incedents” which i feel have scarred (as in left a scar)on me for life. Im basically saying the things i have seen are the things ADULTS SEE in pubs and clubs, DRUNK PEOPLE TALKING SH*T and being abusive. I also have had very bad experiences in my life from the random men my mum chose and bad choices she made, but its not her faullt because 24 years ago she knew nothing about alcoholism and with so she did not know what one of her binge drinking sessions” which meant she was drunk for litterally a whole week without sobering and keeping a bottle of wine on her bedside locker for when she eventually woke..and all of this was going on from the time i was about 6 months old until 4 years ago when i had my 1st son. As i said she is off it 4 years now. But the trauma of what happened to me will never leave me because her boyfriend that moved in with us when i was 12 sexually abused me. and i can never forget that, i scream inside myself every day and i feel like no counciler can help, they just listen and talk shit. I am now a mum of a 4 and 2 year old and going out with my now fiance 7 years and i am so uncomfortable having sex, sometimes its ok and most of the time i feel dirty, i cant shake this feeling even though my partner loves and respects me i hate the way i feel sexually. Is there any cure or am i just a statistic! i feel like my life is plumiting out of control because i can not controll my feelings, wen im up im up but when im down im DOWN

ALCOHOLISM TREATMENT childhood, deal, diffucult, normal, substancially

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Written by bandaid_46 about 2 years ago.

Now really is the time to help youself get your life on track. You are not a statistic! You are a real person who deserves to live the kind of life you want to have. I hope you will fight hard for yourself!

Sometimes parents are unable to give their children the kind of start in life or the tools to do this. But scars on your soul don’t have to be crippling. I know that you said the counsellors just listen and talk, but many times the RIGHT counsellor can help lead you through the swamp and to a good place in your life. You might have to talk with several therapists before you find the right one, but don’t give up! I know, because it happened for me. My story was not unlike yours.

You may also need medications to help even out your emotions – for awhile – as you work through some of your issues. And it will take time. But time is on your side.

God bless you and good luck!
Written by dein_85 about 2 years ago.

First of all, I’m sorry this happened to you. No one should have to go through that. I know, I have. It never really leaves you. The only thing you can do about it is to convince yourself that you have done nothing wrong. It wasn’t your fault, you were a kid and that piece of crap should have had his manhood ripped from him a centimeter at a time. I still freeze up when I see the guy that raped me (we live in the same town) and I know how your feeling when it comes to sex. It can be incredibly frustrating and maddening. You’re going to have to work through it. Keep reminding yourself that this is over- there’s nothing you can do to change it and dwelling on it will only make things worse. I would advice you to maybe go to the doctor, not a counselor or a shrink, but your family doctor and tell him/her that you’re having depression/anxiety issues. Family doctors tend to be less clinical than psychiatrists and they will address the issue. Is there a group for women that have experienced sexual abuse in the area? Sometimes it helps to know that you’re not alone and that there are other people who feel the same way as you. I went to one for a long time and it did help. I know that this is unusual but if you need someone to talk to, shoot me an email. dein_85@yahoo.com I know what it’s like to sometimes need someone to just vent to. Good luck and try to find someone that will help you through this.
Written by JjP about 2 years ago.

A good therapist that you connect can will help you through this process of really puting your past in the past, seeing who you are and what you have now, and focusing on that.
If you feel better about yourself, you will be a better mother to your children (fear of similar difficult things will not affect the choices you make for them) and your future relationship with your husband. But those are just the fringe benefits…what is most important is that YOU will feel better about yourself.
Good luck.
Written by dearmeohmy about 2 years ago.

I was also sexually abused when I was a child and I guess as I got older I realized there was something wrong. You know, I felt a void. In all my teen age years I was mousy and I never had a good relationship with my mom. Anyway I always looked in comforting soothing ways in music it helped me a little in people relationships, I did make a few friends, and had some healthy relationships. I too did counseling with not to much success. I have gotten into self help books they really help you to put things into perspective there is this particular one it is called THE COURAGE TO HEAL WORKBOOK By Laura Davis. Oh, and you should get down on your children’s level and have fun with them give them all the love that you missed out on as a child. Have you ever discussed with your fiance your sexual abuse? good luck and have a happier life.

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how to deal with a substancially diffucult childhood and be normal?

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