My daughter and son-in-law are alcoholic drug addicts. My daughter left her husband because she wanted to get “clean.” She has two boys, ages 3 and 6, who do not get along. They are toxic when they are together. My daughter came to live with me and my aging arthritic 80-year-old mother. My daughter stayed with us for several months and then went back 1800 miles to “patch” things up with her ex-husband who just got out of jail, and we don’t know when she will be back. These kids are the loves of our lives, but they beat each other up constantly. They fight over toys all the time. They don’t share. There is never a day that goes by without some kind of hysterics or crying. They will not listen to me or my mother. They are defiant. My mother and I both feel like we’re in HELL!!! We don’t know what to do with these boys, and neither does my daughter, obviously. We love them too much to put them up for adoption or send them to foster homes.

Any advice would be appreciated.
It seems the only way my mother and ever have any peace is if I take one away for a long ride (the idea is to separate them), but I can’t be driving around for hours on end every day! I work from home and I don’t have time to run my business anymore. It’s a huge strain on me because then I have to play “catch up.” We cannot separate them inside the home because our townhouse is not big enough. We have tried just about everything to help them get along, from talking to them, treating them with love and kindness, to downright old school spanking – NOTHING WORKS!!!!

HELP!!!!!
This house was a house of love and tranquility before they came, and we are trying so hard to keep it that way, but as much as it hurts me to admit it, these kids are little monsters. They have destroyed the walls, the carpet, furniture because they get physical with each other and throw each other around slamming into something. They run around the house like it was a playground and literally bounce off walls, and if we say anything, we might as well be talking to open space. It falls on deaf ears. We know these kids must feel abandoned, and we sympathize; but they are out of control. Even when my daughter was here, she couldn’t do anything with them, either; and in some ways, my mother and I both understand why my daughter would want to get away from them, because my mom and I are about ready to lose our minds and are at wit’s end.