how should i leave him?

25/08/2011 admin 2 comments

So i have been dating this guy for almost 3 years. We have a 1 year old
together and i have been unsure about my love for him since the beginning.
I dont think i have ever been in love with him and im not sure i want him
raising our son. He is an alcoholic, a bad example and he fights with me
ALL THE TIME. We have broken up several times but it never sticks because
im a coward and i hate seeing him in pain. I know he loves me very much but
im afraid the feeling is not mutual anymore. I have let this go on for TOO
long. But i dont think i have the balls to end it. It hurts me to see him
in pain and he begs for me not to break up with him when i try.

So my friend came up with this plan since i cant legally kick him out
without an eviction notice and he wont leave willingly. She and her bf are
going to find a cheap place for rent that has 2 bedrooms (they are moving
because her landlord is selling the house she is at now) and than when im
ready im going to move in with them with my son. I figured i could just
move all my stuff out when he is at work but i dont think that is the best
thing.

So my problem is this the best thing for me to do for me and my son is to
leave him? And how should i break it to him that i am leaving him?

No hateful or rude comments please they will be DELETED!

ALCOHOLISM TREATMENT leave, should

Comments

Written by AmandaI about 9 months ago.

Yes, you do have to leave. It’s not about him, it’s about your happiness and what’s best for your child. Obviously, it’s not good for him to be raising your son. Just come out and tell him. Leave, have your friends move your stuff so you don’t have to see him. If you see him, you’ll fold, so don’t. You have to keep telling yourself that this is what’s best for your son. As for letting him see your child, well use your best judgement, but if you decide to let him see the child, then I would use a go between person to take the child to him and to pick him up. That way you don’t see him. The longer you’re away and don’t have to see him, the easier it will get to stay gone.
Written by wutatool about 9 months ago.

Your problems will follow you to your new home, but only this time, you will be putting your friends in the middle and disrupting their lives.
Be an adult and tell your boyfriend that it is over and you are leaving.
If it is because of his alcoholism, then tell him that’s the reason and maybe that will be what it takes for him to sober up.
Whether you are with him or not, he is your son’s father and doing whatever you can to help him stop drinking is the best thing for your son.
Don’t take the cowardly way out and just bail when he is at work because you will be doing your son a great injustice by handling it that way.
If you have your mind made up, then all you have to do is tell him you are leaving.
It really is that simple, so don’t convince yourself that it’s any harder than it really is.
Your leaving him may be a turning point in his life, which may help him to be a better father and a better husband/boyfriend the next time around.
Do your son a big favor and handle it like an adult.
You have the ability to maintain control of the situation and the only way he can control you with his begging and emotional displays is if you let him.
If you are afraid for some reason or another, then simply take a friend along when it comes time to break the news to him.
At least this way it won’t be so easy for him to rationalize things and blame the entire break-up on you or other things that won’t point him in the direction of sobriety and recovery.
Good luck.

How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

how should i leave him?

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