How do I help my son? He is 19 years old, using drugs, and out of control.?

04/10/2010 admin 10 comments

I’ve found out that my son is using drugs including marijuana, ecstasy, methamphetamine, cocaine, acid, etc. I can’t get him to talk to me. He hates me right now. Honestly, he sickens me to death right now as well with all of the trouble he is causing, and I can barely stand to look at him, let alone talk to him or try to reason with him. He is currently injured from drug related injuries. He is in serious trouble with the police, but luckily we have a great lawyer, and he shouldn’t have to do any jail time. I don’t know what is going to happen to him in regards to school. I don’t know what to do with him anymore. His father died two years ago, and we don’t have any family around to help us with this. I can’t kick him out of the house. I know that many people would recommend this, but I can’t live with the thought of my son being on the streets in the winter time, possibly killing himself. He is constantly angry and standoffish. Anytime someone tries to talk to him about anything personal, it turns into a yelling match. He doesn’t seem to trust, relate to, or care about anyone, and he won’t open up. He seems to hate being around others besides his friends, who I’m sure are using as well, and if he is not out of the house, he is holed up in his room by himself. It kills me to see that he’s so angry and upset all the time, and I can’t get through to him, despite countless efforts. I know some things have happened in his later childhood that have probably left him emotionally scarred, but he refuses to get help, mouthing off to me and the doctors and making threats if I try to send him back. I just want to help him. I don’t want to enable him, but at the same time, I can see that he is hurting or that something is bothering him, because he’s incredibly smart and would not be doing this otherwise. He never used to be like this. I noticed changes in him after his father’s death, and I’m sure that could have something to do with it among other things, because he never used to be this way. I’m just a concerned mother, and I’m worn out and so lost as to what to do with my child.

SON'S DRUG ABUSE QUESTIONS control, drugs, Help, using, years

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Written by thaman3432 about 2 years ago.

Recommend rehab. I know your situation. Just know you are not a lone.

People really just lose their minds, I don’t know what it is.

I will pray and you will be in my prayers tonight

Good luck on your journey
Written by sandra about 2 years ago.

Okay #1 IGNORE David’s comment and #2 GET HIM HELP.. ASAP

honestly those drugs arent just expiramental highschool drugs that some kids do in their “rebel” phase. You need to do something for him. its hard just because he’s 19 now so you cant force him to do anything but he does need help thats for sure. Help for dealing with his dads death and for his drug problem. Maybe his friends are a source of his drug problem. This is such a hard situation and i cant tell you what to do other than talk to a professional who CAN tell you what do.
Written by dontheturner about 2 years ago.

David! Well I have to say – you are so smart – you are a total jerk. What a thing to say for advice.
Written by Facia Face about 2 years ago.

He has to go to full-time inpatient rehab. That’s the only way he can get better.
Getting a lawyer to get him out of trouble is only going to show him that he can do wrong and get away with it. Next time, he’ll do worse and no lawyer will be able to save him.
The best thing you can do is not be his friend, be his parent. Despite his age, he is not an adult. Any 19 year old that can’t survive on his own is just going to be a drain on you and the rest of society. If you really love your son, he has to be taught a lesson. Get him into rehab, and if he refuses, though it may change his life, he needs to do time in jail. He’ll always carry a stigma, but at least he won’t be dead. And he’s the smart person you say he is, he’ll learn and become stronger.
Written by Cyn City about 2 years ago.

Im also been experimenting with drugs..
Im clean now and I just did it cuz I didnt feel loved.. I also felt alone.
My parents didnt understand cuz Im always surrounded by family and frends.
I came to terms when i realized how much it hurt my loved ones.
He needs to also come to terms on his own.
I think u should talk to him and tell him how much you love him.
The death of his father is probably the root of his problem.. especially if he was close with him.
My drug habit started when my Nana (Closet family member) got sick.
He needs professional help also cuz i had a minor habit.. his sounds extreme.
I say Support him emotionally but also get him help <3
Good Luck, I hope He Gets Better <333
Written by madhuri sinha about 2 years ago.

take him to drug rehabillitation centre . it would perhaps help him
Written by Marcus about 2 years ago.

Well right now your son is addicted. He is addicted to being high in general and as you already know is well on the path of self-destruction.
I’ve tried all those drugs except for meth and I don’t do them anymore.
Your son is gonna hit rock bottom before he decides to quit and get help but at his age this may be a long and excruciating road. He may even die because of drugs.

Stop enabling him. You as a mother have to get him rehabilitated. This means he needs to go to rehab and programs to get clean. Stop enabling him. If he’s doing drugs and committing crimes without any consequence then how will this cycle ever stop? At least if he is on probation he could not abuse drugs. He is old enough to know what he is doing.

Of course your son has emotional issues behind all this drug use. But it’s up to a treatment program to get to the bottom of this. You can get help and information from a church/temple. Go online and find local programs. You can call up Narcotics Anonymous for more information on where to get him help.
Good luck don’t give up.
Written by Mathieu about 2 years ago.

I assume he is still a minor correct? If he is, depending on state law, you can force him to rehab or, as hard as it sounds, parents do get court orders to force their kids into rehab or other treatment. If your son is out of control then I doubt you can really do a lot and obviously you can’t physically force him into treatment. That is why a court order might be best.

I can tell you that the chance he will just get better all of a sudden is almost zero. At this level of substance abuse words don’t do anything, or they make things worse. Addicts don’t hear talk they really only respond to actions.

I would try to find a psychiatrist to see for two reasons (a) a professional can help you come up with a plan tailored to your son. That way you have something set up and the doctor can teach you how to better respond to him. (b) most of the time the family of an addict needs help too, often addiction is referred to as a family disease because family can become codependent, they can be in complete denial, and often they worry and end up with severe anxiety, insomnia, and depression. I have scene some cases of parents, one in particular, who became such a wreak over their son’s cocaine and amphetamine use that they started to take huge amounts of Halcion and Valium. Halcion is a very potent hypnotic and Valium is a anti-anxiety medication. In the end everyone was an addict, but Halcion and Valium are socially accepted, cocaine is not.
Written by american samurai about 2 years ago.

My brother started down the same path and it took over our parents lives, often some type of childhood abuse.. many time sexual in nature will start of this type of behavior or just having his father die or some kind of emotional conflict (being gay for instance), but if so, its hard to get a young man to tell you what happened. Do you have male relative in your family that he likes that can maybe take him out for the day were they can talk, that might help. You did not mention if he is working or in school, if not and you are supplying his money you are enabling him and are part of the problem. If he is committing crimes while living in your house (dealing, stealing etc) you can and will be dragged into his trouble as well. You have a very serious problem and you need to get him to talk to you or someone, its possible he does not connect the way he is acting with what started this. The longer this goes on the more likely this will become his way of life. If you have no one to turn to then maybe you can take a small trip, some were in a nature setting and just talk a little, this might help. Are there things he used to like to do with his dad?? fishing, hiking etc, you might try doing some of the activities he used to like. Sorry I could not help more, I have a lot of experience with people that have had this kind of behavior but usually it did not end very well.
Written by prashant about 2 years ago.

just be close to your son and ask him whats the exact reason for his drug addiction and also cut his pocket money…

How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

How do I help my son? He is 19 years old, using drugs, and out of control.?

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