How do I convince my husband to kick his son out?

19/09/2010 admin 13 comments

Here’s the scoop. My husband of one year has a 34 year old son who is a Meth addict. He’s currently homeless. No job. Kicked out of the military. My husband feels sorry for his son’s homelessness and so informs me that he’s bringing him home to stay with us for a few months. He’s skinny as a rail, unclean, unshaven, and has track marks on his hand and up his arm from shooting up (fresh marks). I told my husband it wouldn’t work out for his son because he’s basically a street person and that’s his lifestyle. I told him that his son has to shower every night before bed. (He’s been here for a week and has showered once.) He’s eating us out of house and home! He helps himself to all the groceries and is doing nothing in return but staying in our guest bedroom and sleeping all day and night. The bedroom looks like a bomb went off in there. My husband gave him money for a haircut and also for cigarettes. I don’t trust the guy and only see him as a parasite using his father’s good will. None of his other family members want him around including his mother. How do I convince my husband of one year that this isn’t going to work? I fear for our marriage?

DRUG REHABILITATION convince, husband, kick

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Written by Queen Bee in Cali about 2 years ago.

Move out and hope that he comes with you.
Written by donotbuyakia about 2 years ago.

You and your husband need to schedule an appointment with a counselor at a rehab facility and get them to help you to set some rules. This way, it isn’t coming from you, it’s coming from a professional. Then you follow the rules. It’s hard, but understand that this man is an addict. He is eating because his body is literally starving. It is necessary that you feed him enough for 10 people. The sleeping is a result of the withdrawal, perhaps. He really should be in rehab. Encourage it, but don’t demand it.
Written by Heavy B about 2 years ago.

Cut off all sex until he agrees.

A person like the son will never change until he wants to get off the drugs. The husband is just feeding the addiction.
Written by michael about 2 years ago.

He will get tired of his crap. The son will not change and dad will see it.
Written by wisdom about 2 years ago.

can you go away?
Written by Suzie Q about 2 years ago.

First off, your husband should have discussed this with you PRIOR to moving his son back in, regardless whether it’s your child or not. But seriously, sit your husband down and you guys need to come up with a time from to get the boy sober, give him time to get a job to save up money and get his own place. He doesn’t need to live there with you guys he’s a grown “man.” Come up with a time frame and tell the boy to hit the road. If you and your husband aren’t in agreement, get a nuetral third party like a counselor to sit down with the two of you and figure something out because pretty soon it’s going to start eating away at your marriage.
Written by Johnny Wadd about 2 years ago.

Tell him that his kid tried to rape you
Written by Nicole about 2 years ago.

Wow that is really sad. Hopefully that guy gets help, some parents will enable that behavior though for years. Sorry you ended up in that situation; This is why blended families can be rough, even if they are not “kids” that you are stepparents to. Give it some time, insist that the man follow the rules, and if he isn’t trying to get clean then I would insist he find some place else. Usually druggies will want to live with their friends anyhow and not in a “clean” house. They will want to use. I say that if he is caught using in your home you call the police. Be firm on that that you do not want drugs in your home. Meth is very dangerous, causes people to do scary things. You have to protect yourself.
Written by nancybuck8 about 2 years ago.

You are a heartless person……..and if a parent wants to help their child out that is their business. You may be the new wife.. and this all may bug you, but his son is an addict. Why don’t you try being positive and help him out. It’s a disease……be glad he’s eating food, because a meth head doesn’t eat, be glad he’s sleeping because a meth head doesn’t sleep. he needs all the help he can get or he will die. Be a good wife and support your husbands decision. If you don’t like it, then you might want to leave.
Written by i + i about 2 years ago.

You are right to fear for the marriage, and you need to let your husband know that he is the cause of it — time and again, it has been shown that it is the “feeling sorry” enablers that perpetuate these situations, and the problem person is going to drag EVERYONE down as they sink into the sorry hell-hole that they’ve are digging for themselves. If hubby wants to do anything, it should be to pay for rehabilitation… even though the recidivism rate is very discouraging, it’s really the only realistic option. Good luck.
Written by LYNNE about 2 years ago.

He needs to be in a program to help him deal with is drug problems and help him get clean and train for some kind of job….living free at your house is not going to do that.You and your husband need to talk to your minster or doctor about looking into getting your step son in to a program that can get him off drugs and healthy once more,plus help him find a way to support himself.
Written by T. about 2 years ago.

The worst thing you can do for an addict is to enable them… You cannot convience anyone of anything. You can move on with your life when someone steps on you, disrespects you, & does not honor you with a discussion of what’s going on in your home. What’s wrong with you stating that you are moving out? Say to your husband, I won’t be treated this way. Spend the money to put your son in rehab, that I will support. However, You both abusing our home is not tolerated. PERIOD!
Written by bill b about 2 years ago.

Leave your husband’s wallet on the kitchen table at night.

I have friends who took in their 38 year old, heroine addicted son. He’s stolen checks, money, and family goods like silverware and antiques. He eats but never cleans up, doesn’t do his own laundry, and can’t so much as figure out which is the working end of a hammer. 8 years later, he still lives with them. He did manage to finally get himself a part time job, but they’re still responsible for most of his finances.

EVERYONE tried talking them out of it, but they usually got angry and felt other people needed to mind their own business.

I wish I had better news for you, but if my example is any clue, I suggest you give your husband an ultimatum. Then, be prepared to be the one who ends up moving out.

How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

How do I convince my husband to kick his son out?

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