He says, when he is intoxicated that he wants and needs help and is willing to go with me to get it. Then, the next morning, when he’s sober, he refuses.
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Written by yes_that_thing about 2 years ago.
Tell him if he goes he gets a free bottle of whisky. That should entice him!
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Written by Melanie T about 2 years ago.
it’s very, very sad – but ultimately rehab only works when someone really WANTS it, not when they really NEED it. he has to want it – for himself, and not for anyone else.
on your side, the best thing you can do for him is to make sure you are supportive to him while also in NO WAY supporting his continued drinking. not by paying his bills, not by buying his alcohol, not by bailing him out of jail, or letting him live with you, or letting him come around when he is drunk. you have to make it clear to him that you are there for him, but ONLY when he is taking care of himself. only when the whole family stands together on this, and he has no choice other than to be 100% accountable for his addiction and the consequences of it, will he begin to truly want, for himself, to get better.
i wish you all the best. a large part of the reason why i lost my mom at such an early age was her alcohol problem. it’s very hard to set boundaries with someone you love and stick by them, especially when they are pleading with you and making you feel awful about it. in the end, it is a labor of love.
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Written by Sherri S about 2 years ago.
The only power you have to help him is to stop helping him stay that way. Cut off fincial support and tell him that you’ll be there when he is serious about getting help.
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Written by Fred K about 2 years ago.
I’m sorry, but all you can do is reinforce your love for your son and tell him you will assist him when he decides that he has a disease and needs help.
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Written by OneofakindJanne about 2 years ago.
i lived with an addict/alcoholic for years and for years that was our viscious cycle. i feel for you and hope you know your not alone because that can be very physically, emotionally, and spiritually taxing. the truth is sadly (as i’m sure you’ve heard many times as had i) when he’s ready or reached his “bottom”. that doesnt necessarily mean he has to go through some trauma, but sometimes like 99% of the addicts (alcohol and drugs) i know or have met…they have to come to a point where something gets their attention and they realize how idiotic the gamble they’ve been making with their lives has been and change their patterns on their own. treatment is not a sure thing either…trust me, i worked in a rehab for several years and have had a few family members go through the program wilingly. even then it is up to them what they choose to do with the tools and info presented them, and what they take and apply to their life. i’ve seen people leave the rehab and head straight for the bar within the first six months. it all depends when they decide to let go of the rebellion in that area and stop fighting their conscience…which does TRULY condemn them when they’re using…hence the willingness while influenced by the substance. the best advice i can give you is pray for your son…that has seemed to be the most effective tool i’ve seen against this horrible horrible battle. god knows the struggles and fights within himself and between the other influences in his life even he may be unaware of, and he knows how to reach him INDIVIDUALLY the best. dont stop trying, but dont be pushy either…give him space for god to reach him or send someone who’s words will be better/more readily received. good luck and god bless
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Written by w b about 2 years ago.
I suggest you get some information on how to have an intervention done on him. It’s worth it to try and get him into tx this way. And for you to go to Al Anon. I wish you the best as well as for your son.
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