Help my boyfriend is an alcoholic what should I do???

14/11/2010 admin 21 comments

my boyfriend keeps promising me that he will change. He says I need to trust him. I try to but every time he does go out he stays out and gets so drunk sometimes to the point he passes out somewhere. We have a son and he is still young so I don’t want to give up yet but how does a person deal with an alcoholic? Sometimes he gets real nasty when he drinks. I pray for him but how can I help him and our family?????

QUESTIONS ABOUT SON'S ALCOHOLISM alcoholic, boyfriend, Help, should

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Written by shoe_khan about 2 years ago.

Get a new boyfriend.

na

If you want to help him get him some help. Be safe yourself. Try Teen Challenge,

http://www.teenchallenge.com
Written by kaalllllllllllllllllllllllllll about 2 years ago.

oh so u want tat he gets well and doesnt drink just talk with him and show him the drunkards on the road how they look when they r drunk and let him drink finally once he will be ok and wont drink again
Written by DAVEG_10 about 2 years ago.

Since he is just currently a boyfriend. It’s time for you to move on.
Take the kid and go. You must have family that can help out somehow.
This drunk is not going to change. The odds are totally against it.
I know….I come from a family where father was a drunk, older was, and they never could change….Booze took over, even the family!
Sad that a child is involved, but it’s probably in your best interest, and in the interest of the child, that this drunk seeks help.
Or, for both your benefits, you and the child move on.
Written by devil_queen_biatch14 about 2 years ago.

tell him to get help that u cant help him if he dont want help. and u refuse to go thru the pain n hurt of what is to come if he refuses to think more of what he wants to have with u. if he doesnt want the help there is nothin u can do but leave him
Written by DarkAngel about 2 years ago.

i would suggest that you leave him, and go to your family like your parents for help. but if you don’t want to leave him why don’t you suggest to him to go to alcoholics anonymous.
Written by thebillthatknows about 2 years ago.

it’s because woman always want there man to change and they never do …………..and men always want there girl to stay the same and they never do…………………………… so is life
Written by amazontiss about 2 years ago.

Keep praying,persuade him to change,and have more hope and faith in him.
Written by kyle r about 2 years ago.

tell him to stop drinking
Written by PRLadyDama about 2 years ago.

I would really suggest you to find a support group called Al-Anon. This group gives support to people that have family, relatives or friends with alcohol problems.
Personally, this group helped to keep my sanity when I was married to an alcoholic.
Good Luck.
Written by Fara about 2 years ago.

honey sit down with him and give him and ultimatum…if he doesn’t change you will leave. If he doesn’t change LEAVE!!! what is the sense in putting yourself and your child through hell for someone who wont change…
Written by 2good4hem about 2 years ago.

I understand where ur coming from, cuz my bf and I had this same problem. I had to just stop being there 4 him, so that he could c nobody else would take care of him when he was drunk. He use to get drunk and come home and try 2 start fights, so I decided to teach him a lesson and just leave him alone. We also have a daughter 2gether and I did not want her to see him drunk, so I also had to do this 4 her sake as well. He got the point and did change and I haven’t had any trouble since. Its been a year and a half now.
Written by island3girl about 2 years ago.

my first thought is for you to leave him – i know, not what you want to hear, but it will be better for your son not to grow up with that example. and don’t that he doesn’t understand – kids learn almost 80% of what they will ever know about relationshiprs by the time they are 9 or10. so these are TRULY his formative years

my next piece of advice if you insist on staying with him is to find yourself a Al ANON meeting for family members and friends of alcoholics to teach you how to deal with him and survive.

Try to get him to go to AA, but even if he doesnt go – you go to te family meetings

good luck to you dear
Written by lizardmama about 2 years ago.

I was going to tell you to get out, that if you stay with him then just realize that this is what you would be choosing for the rest of your life, but you have a child. Now it’s too late and this is a mess. Baby needs a Daddy, but boyfriend probably isn’t capable of being a Daddy. But baby doesn’t need his male role model to teach him the alcoholic mindset. His addiction not only affects his body, but all of his relationships. He will continue making promises to change, but he can’t. He’s an addict. He needs treatment, but he probably sees no value in getting it. All I can suggest to you now is that you join Alanon, the support group for people in the lives of alcoholics and surround yourself with a good support group who you can learn and grow from. They can support you and guide you into how to handle this and make better decisions in the relationship going forward. I’m sorry.
Written by MiddleAgeVet about 2 years ago.

An alcoholic will only change when they want to. It is a disease, that needs treatment. He has to realize the consequences of his action. Give him an ultimatum, it is the booze or you. If he doesn’t get help, he will take you and the child down with him.
Written by Mesha 3 about 2 years ago.

I know that it’s hard girl, but you have to take matters into your own hands. Apparently, he taking you for a joke, because he see that you are always going to be there for him. Next time he disappoints you, do something he never expects out of you. Tell him he can’t come around you or your son until he straightens up. Put him out and don’t call him or pay him any mind. I’m not telling you this to be mean, but if he see that you are not playing with him anymore, then he will have to decide if he wants to keep drinking or have his family back.
Written by DizzyDazy about 2 years ago.

Dump him or he’ll just drag you down. First lesson in life, you can’t change anyone who doesn’t wish to change. You also can’t trust him, even though he thinks he deserves it, you can’t. Where is he when he passes out and who is he with? Think about your personal safety and ditch the dude!!

By staying with him you are telling your child that this type of relationship is acceptable. Would you want your child involved with someone like this?
Written by honeyko_japan about 2 years ago.

bring him in rehabilitation center they will take care of him and besides they know what the right thing to do
Written by prarierosebud about 2 years ago.

Unless he wants to quit, he won’t do it for you or anyone else. He has to do it for himself. If you plan to stay with him, go to Al-anon and they will help you cope and understand an alcoholic. Alcoholism is a disease but it is the only disease that can send you to jail. He could get a DUI and kill someone or get violent with you. I wish I could help you. I have a son that is an alcoholic and he has been to treatment so many times and still falls off the wagon about every six months. I have prayed so hard through the years just like you. My heart goes out to you. These guys are really good guys when they are sober if they could only stay that way. Easier said than done.
Written by junified.bea about 2 years ago.

threaten him. yeah. tell him you’ll leave him if he will not change. have a serious talk with him. explain him that he should be a good model to his son and that you and your son need a lot of loving care from him. also, organize activities that will keep him busy. example is sports activities, wherein he’ll be very busy that he’ll forget alcohol! keep alcoholic drinks out of his sight. if he’s going out, accompany him so you can guard his actions. sometimes you really have to be strict so that your bf will learn.
Written by Rhonda W about 2 years ago.

How can you say you are staying for your sons sake? That is a cop out. You are ruining your sons life by staying with a drunk. Tell him he needs to sober up attend AA on his time away from you and your child OR get some guts and stop appeasing a sick man. Why are you putting up with such abuse?????? Sad. You are staying because you are weak nothing more nothing less. You are allowing him to stay a drunk while you do not force the issue. Get some nerve and do what is right for your son he is going to be ruined because of your own fear. Leave!
Written by tazo157 about 2 years ago.

Why is it that so many women are attracted to men who are alcoholics? It just seems so stereotypical…

I’m sorry to hear this. Here are the facts: You can’t change a man. He has to want to change. You can support him and try to get him to attend treatments but it really comes down to what he wants to do. What is the american saying? “You can drag a horse to water but you can’t force it to drink?”

Good luck.

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