The best thing you can do is eliminate this looser from your life. You deserve better.

You really need to leave.

You are both wrong and you both need professional help. You should not have hit him, regardless of what he was doing. Violence is not the answer, and that is exactly what you are going to teach your children. Get some counseling and some anger management help and learn to be better parents.

leave him

you are focusing on him. You need to look at yourself. What are you doing making babies and playing house with someone that you don’t respect and who has no respect for you.
Stop playing the victim. You picked him and you are at least half responsible.
It isn’t about him or you. What are you doing for or to your children. Get some counseling.

1. Both of you need counseling. If he’s not willing to go with you then he’s not going to change and, for the sake of the children and your safety, you need to walk.
2. He, and perhaps you too, need to join AA or other support group for addicts. He is an addict whether he will admit it or not. If he’s not willing to admit admit this and take steps to manage the addiction then you’re looking at nothing but increasing problems.

At this point, you need to be concerned with the effect the drinking and fighting are having on your children and with your own safety.

Despite what so many people say, love will not conquer all problems.

You both need professional help. Counseling, rehab and he needs to stay on his meds. If he’s not willing to take this serious and get professional help, then divorce him. Your children are going to suffer greatly by staying in this unhealthy relationship.

I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this! I know it’s very difficult to live with an abusive husband…and some do change, but only if they want to….it has nothing to do with how much we beg them or anything we do or so….in other words, you can’t make him! With that being said, if it’s gone on this long, it is going to be even harder for him to change because it’s become easier for him…you’ve made it that way by accepting and forgiving!

I definately think anger management or at least counseling would help you. It’s important to learn to control your “re-actions” to his actions….although many would say you are justified in getting angry or just plain fed up by his behavior, you have to realize that how you react to it is either going to make it worse or make it better! I found this out the hard way!

He needs to get some help as well, because there will be no hope for the marriage if you’re just seeking help to deal with his problem…he’s the one with the problem….so you alone seeking help would be like treating the symptom, not the disease! This is going to involve not only AA but a change in lifestyle…which means new friends and possibly a new job if he works where there will temptation to drink…so like I said, he HAS to want to make the change, becuase it’s going to be huge!

I wish you all the luck in the world….but do talk to someone to help encourage you and re-build your self worth!

So much of this is awful it’s hard to know where to begin.

First off, if YOU were drinking and driving SHAME ON YOU! You have children! What were you thinking! THAT is a HUGE problem. Not only could you have killed yourself and him but you would have left your kids with no parents. Nice job!

Second, let’s look at this marriage: YOU married a man KNOWING that he had a drinking problem AND a history of violence, not only with his wife but with a girlfriend as well? THAT says a lot about YOU. Why did you marry him in the first place? Are you a sadist? Sounds like you married into a HUGE mess.

Third: You hit him first. Not that a man should ever hit woman, but you know, a woman should not hit a man either. Open fist or closed makes no difference. You hit first, you should have expected it. Especially since he has a past history of violence. What did you think he was going to do, sit there and take it? He was wrong. Absolutely. But you have NO right to judge or complain because you are the one that took it to the next level.

Grown up do not hit when they get made. That’s what little kids do and their parents punish them for it. What you did showed an ENORMOUS lack of self control and maturity. Granted, you were drinking but plenty of people drink and don’t hit their spouse when they are angry.

Oh, and by the way, he should have REALLY called the police! You had no business being behind the wheel of the car. He might have been drinking too but out of the two of you, at least HE had the good sense to know you should not be driving. If I had to choose between the two of you, I’d rather have driven with him. At least he was making sense.

I’m not sure what your question is but here is some advice:

Take him up on his divorce offer. You need to get out of that situation and fast. For yourself and your kid. YOU cannot change him no matter how much you love him. It’s not possible. He has to change himself. And if he’s that willing to give you a divorce, he’s already given up on himself and your marriage. Get out now.

Then, YOU need to get some help. First for your drinking and second for your mental health. You need to figure out why you would marry such a loser. I suspect that if you go around hitting people that make you mad, you probably have some anger issues as well. Regardless of what your issues are, you obviously need professional help. I suggest you get some right away.

Oh, and quit drinking. Period.

u hit him first…what did u expect him to do…

NO HITTING…if u didn’t hit him first sounds like he would never have hit you…sounds like you both deserve each other…he is a drunk and u are an abuser

you shouldnt be out drinking with an alcoholic that was mistake number 1, and you didnt explain why you got so mad that he was calling the police. But you shouldnt hit someone EVER much less when he is driving. i personally think you to belong together. i hope that your kids look up to someone other than the 2 of you so they have a chance of being good people.