Found Cigarettes and Alcohol in my son’s truck, Advice?

04/10/2010 admin 15 comments

I had to borrow my son’s Ford Ranger to go to home depot to get some stuff. Well me being nosy and everything i opened up his glove box and found a few porn DVD’s and two packs of Cigarettes and used condoms and a bottle of everclear. i don’t know how he got either considering he is 17 years old and everything. I feel so disappointed in him but at the same time i think his cousin is supplying him with all of this stuff and everything. I get the feeling talking to my son is going to do absolutely no good. I am unsure what to do, Advice?

ALCOHOLISM TREATMENT advice, alcohol, Cigarettes, found, sons, truck

Comments

Written by John Cena about 2 years ago.

beat his ass raw. you put that bastard in line and quickly. if you choke him within an inch of his life then tell him you will finish the job next time if you ever catch him again, he will never do it again.
Written by Josh J about 2 years ago.

tell him way to go boy
Written by Reb about 2 years ago.

Try talking to him, but if it doesn’t do any good take his truck away for a while. If a cop pulled him over and found the bottle of everclear, he would be in far deeper trouble than you could put him in. Plus, not having a truck will severely limit his freedom.
And for the record it’s far from impossible to get this stuff even if you’re underage.

Oh, just to add: check his wallet for a fake ID. While it’s very possible to get all those things without one (in fact, he can legally buy condoms, I’m just talking about the others), he might be using a fake to get them.
Written by ♥ TTC #1 Baby Baya ♥ about 2 years ago.

The Dvds are pretty normal considering hes 17.. and thank goodness you found the condoms.. Shows hes being safe.. The Cigs and Alcohol are a different story tho. If it we’re my son.. id take his vehicle for about a month.. You gotta be firm..
Written by Mike O about 2 years ago.

You will be better off sitting down and talking to him. Not talking to him enough may have been what drove him to this state. I don’t have kids but every time that I screwed up or was on the wrong path this is exactly what I was looking for, someone to talk to me about it. It might be a great opportunity for you to show your love for him. Best of luck, Mike.
Written by Genevieve about 2 years ago.

Keep your nose out of the glove box. Don’t tell him anything unless you want to walk to Home Depot. Or you could just keep the truck for a while. Let him walk to wherever. Have you talked to him about drinking and driving? That’s an important talk and it seems he needs it.
Written by Matthew about 2 years ago.

First don’t drink the Everclear straight! It’s way too potent. At least the 190 prof is. You can mix it with lemon juice and water, and do shots that way or just mix like vodka in drinks, but not as much.
As far anything else goes I don’t know. I’m sure someone will answer with some good advice.

EDIT; I didn’t want to give you advice because I’m not a parent, but, since I got the thumbs down I can try.
Emily, this is a great oportunity to show your son how much you care for him, and to open a line of honest comunication, that could forever change and enhance you relashonship with him. I hope you realize that and use your best judgement for the benifit of the bolth of you.
Sincerly Matthew.
Written by . about 2 years ago.

I wouldn’t be surprised to find booze, porn or condoms in my son’s car (as he’s at least 16 he would legally be considered an adult) but I’d be pissed off that he decided to smoke. If it was me, I’d just speak to him and try to get him to realise that smoking f.ags is a habit that he really doesn’t need.
Written by Earth Man about 2 years ago.

First of all, I have to ask… who keeps used condoms in their glove box? That’s disgusting.

Anyway, you should be furious with this. I would be, though I’m fortunate to have a number of years before that problem could theoretically arise. If he’s hiding them from you (looks like it), then he obviously knows that he’s doing something wrong, and just showing him that you found it will probably scare him, make his heart race, etc.

Of course, this is not sufficient punishment. The truck immediately disappears. Period. No bargaining, no end-date of when it will be back. It’s just gone. Doesn’t even get to keep a key.

He also doesn’t get to go anywhere without you. He stays home, and you get to decide when and IF anyone gets to come over to visit. All forms of outside communication save from writing handwritten letters and mailing them through the Post Office — gone. No Internet, no video game console. He can read or develop other interests, or just sit somewhere and beg for things.

Chores. Real chores. Real chores that other people (such as his friends and cousin) could see — for instance, pulling weeds in the front yard.

Obviously your own personal discussion about cigarettes, sex, alcohol, etc. That one’s up to you. Yes, *talk* to him, even if you don’t think it will do any good. Talk to him anyway. Don’t beat things over his head when he’s obviously not listening… just come back in ten minutes and do it again… and again.. until he has no choice but to listen because he has no more energy to *not* listen.

Do not pull punches! You are the *parent* he is the *child* and it doesn’t matter if he’s 17 or 10 or 28. If he’s 18+ and wants to live by other rules, fine, but he can go find somewhere else to live with them. While he’s in your house, you’re the boss.
Written by Robert Bethell about 2 years ago.

The dvds – that’s pretty normal considering he is 17. Its not anything illegal, and if it wasn’t dvds he would just be looking at it on the internet, phone, or whatever piece of technology he has…just trying to be honest.

As far as the condoms go – what are ya gonna do? I mean he is turning into an adult at 17, and becoming sexually involved is his choice, and just thank God that he is using protection and is making a very very very smart decision at that. However, as a parent it is your every right to sit him down, and attempt to talk about sex with him, and explain your views on the issue with him openly. But remember, sex will happen – he is turning into an adult. You can’t force him to stop having sex, because that is quite impossible. But make sure you really hammer the importance of protection. That could be a life saver, literally.

Now the everclear and the cigarettes are an entirely different story. He is underage, and that stuff can kill him. You need to make sure you are strict, firm, and assertive when you explain to him that it is illegal and wrong to partake in such activities. This stuff is no joke, and if the cops found that stuff before you did, it would not be pretty. The porn, and even the sex are much less severe issues here, considering he is 17 and is most likely fully developed sexually. But the cigarettes and everclear is a major issue that needs to be confronted and resolved.

I suggest taking the truck for a period of time, and regulating all of his credit cards. Also limit the cash in his wallet to prevent opportunities to get cigarettes and everclear.

Do not be afraid to involve the entire family. My cousin started off this way. He got into cigarettes, and stuff like everclear. No one thought that much of it. Since then he has become severely addicted to drugs, gambling, and other illegal activities. He stole from family members and took advantage of people to obtain these drugs.

Point is, cigarettes and everclear can develop into much worst things. Get some close family members and have them talk to him. As a parent it is your job to do everything in your power to stop this behavior at once.

Hope all turns out well.
Written by Parent about 2 years ago.

A 17,16, 13 year old can pretty much get whatever they want. Forget about where he got it and focus on the fact he has it and is using it. There is no one way fits ll in these cases and your going to have to figure out what will work in your family. By the way, anyone without teens really haven’t a clue how to handle it either.
Written by Keke about 2 years ago.

first off all you did look in his stuff and confronting him will make things slight difficult because you went through his belongings.
well i would be honest and open with him. Do not get all mad and ready to ground him just ask him I saw that you have some stuff and I want to talk to you about it. Obviously do not bring up the porn and used condom because that is awkward and its his sex life and he is old enough to have one.
Just tell him how you feel for example: “I know you drink and I know what goes on sometimes because I was your age before, all I hope that you are not drinking and driving. As well having open liquor in the car is against the law….” when you talk about the cigarettes please do not sound like one of those truths commercials for example “I saw the cigarettes and I hope you know the damage you can have on life. Just please be careful with whatever you do…” I know those two examples sound like you wuss out but you didn’t. You confront without judging. I think that important for parents to do. Just be honest and open and accept what your kids tell you at least they are being honest right back
Written by Angel's girl about 2 years ago.

No more truck, no more phone, no more going out, no more seeing friends…. no more freedom. If he cannot prove to you that he is responsible enough to make wise choices than he does not deserve to get to do anything.
Written by CaptainJenna about 2 years ago.

As a teen I would say try talking to him.

answer mine please

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AnXl78pGx5UykzdrVwu.Xffsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20100627175504AA9nmxV
Written by VoiceofCommonSense™ about 2 years ago.

17 is close to 18. Legal age. No matter what you do or say to him, he’ll do as he wants.

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