Family issues with husband,son and myself?

30/09/2011 admin 4 comments

My husband and I are young,I’ll admit. We’re both 21 and we got married at 18,right out of high school. I won’t say our relationship hasn’t had it’s ups and downs but there’s been more good than bad. We have a one year old son. We both love him very much but his birth wasn’t expected for a couple more years since my husband and I wanted to finish college before we had children. Now I can’t imagine a day without him. I still work and go to school, I never stopped except for the minimum time before and after the birth of my son as money for us was tight. My husband does the same. But since he’s 21 now he’s discovered the world of partying(clubbing) and the world of alcohol. Since turning 21 in November 2010 there hasn’t been a single weekend when he hasn’t had a hangover. It’s really getting on my nerves because he never spends time with our son or me anymore. He’s gone all day and when he gets home at night during the week,he’s tired and he just goes in our room and stays there until the next morning when he leaves for work. On weekends,he takes clothes to work/school and leaves them in his car so he can just change and go out with his friends while I stay home spending time with and taking care of our son. He even missed his sons first birthday party because he had a hangover and couldn’t get out of bed.
Have I tried talking to him? Yeah. Numerous times. Literally too many to count. Did it help? No. He still does it.

It’s driving me crazy but not because he’s not spending time with me,it’s our son I feel bad for most. He’s missing out on having a father because his dad is drinking away on his free time. I understand being tired but I put being a parent over being tired or other things I want to do,shouldn’t my husband do the same? I just can’t seem to get through to him. What do I do?

ALCOHOLISM TREATMENT family, husbandson, issues, myself

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Written by Sally about 8 months ago.

Couples therapy?
Written by misslady about 8 months ago.

biggest mistake you done was getting married and having a child at a young age. soon you will be divorced and a single mother. cheers to dat .
Written by arizonamiss about 8 months ago.

My children didn’t have a choice. Their father was killed on the job. Four kids under the age of 6. Three don’t remember him at all, sadly. I hope your child never has to go through anything like my children did. The point I’m trying to make is, being his parent,and filling him with love, and teaching him good values can come from both parents, or just one. While your son could benefit from your husband spending time with him, it won’t make your child a better person simply by hanging out with dad. The quality of time that you give your child is what’s molding him into the person he’s becoming. Your husband’s hangover, and the attitude that goes along with it, is too much for an adult to deal with let alone a small child. There’s nothing quality about trying to spend time with someone in that state of mind. Your son is better off with you. You show him love, and spend the time necessary and it matters. It matters more than anything.

Screw your husband, for lack of better words. You can complain to the point he says you’re nagging which just gives him another excuse to go out with his buddies. Concentrate on you and your son. Yes I totally understand how unfair it is to your son and how much your husband is missing out on. But those lessons will be for your husband to learn when ever he grows up and see’s what he’s been missing out on. You can’t change anyone and you can’t make someone do anything. You can do what’s best for your son and I think you’re a fantastic mom for doing what ever it takes to make your son’s life happy and full of love. Best of luck to you all
Written by Grandpa about 8 months ago.

A person does not have to be constantly drunk to be an alcoholic. If their drinking is starting to follow a pattern, such as weekend binges, then they are alcoholic. If their drinking is causing problems with their marriage, job, school or otherwise, then they are alcoholic.

You need help and so does your husband. Alcoholics anonymous has programs that can help you both. even if he does not feel a need to go, you should get whatever help they have to offer.

How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

Family issues with husband,son and myself?

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