does my abusive ex have rights to our son?

17/10/2010 admin 3 comments

can my abusive alcoholic ex see our son after he left, moved 300 miles away and we have social services report suspecting child abuse.
my son is almost 7, and hasnt seen his dad on dr`s recommendations for 3 years, and his dad isnt on his birth certificate, and now he is trying for visiting rights.
this man was abusive to me verbally and emotionally and it is evident that this also affected my son by his behaviour and developement.
i just want to know where we stand.
if it goes to court and he is given visitation rights then i will go along with it, but i`d rather it didnt get that far.
any advice would be gratefully recieved.
thanks
thank you to every one who gave me advice on this, it has really helped put my mind at ease.
i want what is best for my son and have fought hard to get him the stable environment that he desperately needs and deserves, and if his father were more stable and reliable we may have been able to come to an amicable arrangement.

ALCOHOLISM TREATMENT abusive, rights

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Written by ❶Wife about 2 years ago.

He can go to court to contest it. He will get visitation rights but supervision
Look into a Lawyer and let them know that your son father is abusive toward
him. Dont let him get way with it.
Written by rockindaddy about 2 years ago.

Wow, that’s a tough one. I’d suggest talking to your/an attorney or your local Social Services agency. It may depend on your state what rights “dad” has. If he does get visitation rights, as there is a history of abuse, you may be able to get Supervised Visitation. The tough part of that is finding someone willing to supervise. I’d still say talk to the experts, dig deep, the safety of your child is first priority! Good luck.
Written by no1advice about 2 years ago.

Let’s get one thing straight here > according to the courts Visitation and Child Support are two separate issues they stand alone. The judge will not entertain one with the other.

1. He needs an attorney to file for the court visitation rights. The judge will only accept his lawyer’s request if there is proof he is in fact the father. He’s not on the birth certificate so now the only other way is for him to pay for a DNA test about $300.00 for the test. Also, your lawyer needs to have some kind of proof of his unstable condition ie: papers from social services/suspecting child abuse & statements from others about his alcohol abuse. With this in hand even if he has DNA proof the judge is very likely to only provide him with “supervised” visitation if any. Don’t tell him to do a DNA test. Leave it alone. Say nothing.

2. Emotional and verbal abuse is very bad for a youngster. My son (step) has this problem. His mom did this due to her being an alcoholic and verbally/emotionally abusing him. Now years later the scars of it shows. Unlike physical abuse that has scars that show, emotional stays underlying and don’t surface until the person is older. Some examples from it are lacking the ability to form loving & lasting relationships with others especially with the opposite sex. Can’t hold on to a job, pathological liar, blaming others for their behavior and agressive behavior towards women. I researched this and found he had all the tendencies of this and he just doesn’t care if he hurts others. His mom with her many eposides of abuse affected him.

If this goes to court he will have to pay an attorney for his time, pay for a DNA test and if and that’s a big IF he gets visitation child support will need to now be started up. If you start the cs now he will really push the visitation issue. Because to do the cs you have to PROVE he’s the dad. So now the can of worms get opened up.

Don’t tell him about the DNA test his lawyer will probably (if he can afford the guy), get the test. Good thing he’s not on the birth certificate.

Some people will disagree with me on this. But I don’t believe an innocent child will benefit more by being associated and around an alcoholic abuser growing up, just for the sake of “being w/dad”. The negative far out way the positive in this one.

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does my abusive ex have rights to our son?

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