Do I fight for my husband now that he is seeing a married woman?

16/08/2010 admin 17 comments

I have been married to him for eight years, together 13 total. We lived apart because he got addicted to drugs and now that he has been sober for over six months I let him move in with me and our 7 year old daughter and my 19 year old son. Everything was going okay except that he kept telling me that my son was more important and treated him like a king and my husband like crap. NO one seems to understand that my son has had alot of eye surgeries and we almost lost him to meningitis last year in 2008. My son is still taking medications due to his eye issues this is why I worry about his so much, most of my attention is on my son and daughter. I recently found texts on my husbands phone asking him what room #? He told me was going out of town to do some work over night…come to find out he met up with his whore. I am so hurt and of course I kicked him out and now he is seeing that married woman. I think he is really falling for her and done with me because he isn’t chasing me like he usually does when we would break up. I keep texting and calling him but I think I realized that I should just leave him alone. I miss him so much and cry throughout the day when I’m alone. I never left him while we were apart when he was sprung out on drugs, he would be so broke and I would take him food because he wasn’t eating and I would give him money for gas and cigarettes. I have lost almost 15 pounds in the last three weeks and can’t imaging life without him. He loves his daughter but I told him I will not let him see her anymore while he continues to see his whore. I know I shouldn’t take it out on our daughter but It seems like he has the best of both worlds, his daughter and his lover and I am left alone and devestated. A part of me wants to win him back but another part doesn’t have the energy it will take to fight for him. I know I deserve better but It’s too hard to live without him. He is so funny and great in bed and the father of my daughter who needs her daddy. Please give me some advice, I will be honest and say that I had two one nighters with two exes while my husband was hooked on drugs. He was so hooked on drugs and then would call me to have sex but I told him that if I did that I was rewarding him for his habit. I felt like I was sleeping with a drug addict If I gave into him. I love him so much and now that he’s sober I want to make it work but he’s told me that I’m pushing him to hard if I keep chasing him down and he will move back to his home state if I didn’t back off. I don’t know what to think or do anymore….I can’t talk to family because they will judge me this is why I’m seeking advice from strangers. I DO LOVE HIM and miss him so much….even started smoking cigarettes and each night alone is so hard because I just keep thinking of him with her….I don’t feel like dating anyone and It wouldn’t be hard to find a guy but I will only be putting up a front, I am in love with my husband too much to do that. Thanks for reading.

DRUG REHABILITATION fight, husband, married, seeing, woman

Comments

Written by Ocimom about 2 years ago.

Let him go – if you take him back, he will know that no matter what he does – you will take him back. You may love him but why would you want to continue a marriage where he has no respect for you and is cheating?
Written by Mean Carleen about 2 years ago.

Look, I say let it go and continue to focus on your children. You can not fight for a man that wants to be elsewhere. You can not be in a relationship by yourself. He is a cheating addict…thats two reasons to give him up…do you really need anymore reasons….
Written by Thanks! about 2 years ago.

You need to get rid of the hubby, sorry. He will not change and is angry because you worry about your son-that is childish. Ditch him, girl!
Written by Ayah about 2 years ago.

fight him so you can get your anger out but you should let him go if he is really likes her let him go.
Written by kitkat about 2 years ago.

You should have made time for him while you could have, now you want him when he has given up on you. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. Tell him you want another chance and if he says no then give it up. Using your daughter is not a good idea. I know you were there for him during his drug problems but that is what we do when our partners need us. You put him second once he was out of drugs, not fair.
Written by Richard Hess about 2 years ago.

get over him! hes a dumb-ass you should contact his whores husband and tell him whats going one >:]
Written by dubbhottie about 2 years ago.

just go to jerry springer… i can see the headline now.

“give me back my husband, married woman!”
Written by Arquestian about 2 years ago.

Wait a minute…you lived apart while he was in need, and then he got sober and you let him back in.

You CHEATED on your husband while he was out of the house, and now that he is doing the same thing…you call her a whore?

I know this is hard to hear but him seeing the other woman has nothing to do with your daughter, and doesn’t mean he won’t be a father to her. You are keeping him away from her because all you can think about is yourself. It has nothing to do with protecting your daughter.

My advice is “grow up” and move on. You are not completely at fault for this situation but you are certainly a cheater, and you are certainly not the victim you portray yourself to be.

ANYONE else notice that all the women are overlooking the fact that the asker cheated on her husband while they weren’t living together and now she is upset he is doing to her what she did to him?
Written by Italian 4Life about 2 years ago.

WOW! that’s sooo sad! I understand that men acting that way, they are idiot sometime… and tell him “do you want be with aids whore” tell him that she make him pay it for her with a whore…. and I think you should tell him please come my house and so we can talk,,(tell him everything what you told us).. and my father is drug when I was baby.. my mom kick him out and I am also triplets, can you imaged it that my mom take care of me and my 2sisters by herself without my dad.. I never met him or talk to him at all…because he was drugs and my mom kick him out since and we lucky to have our greast mom in the world that she rasied us so good! my sister is marry, and had 2sons already…my dad is missed a lots with good and he is also grandfather and he didn’t know..its shame right? and he missed my sisters’s beautiful wedding!!!! tell him that you willing give him everything if he stop doing drugs! or you can get him help rehab.. or call to steve show he’s the best!!! I think you should talk to him, and tell him that look at our kids, you are the father! why you acting that way to me? I am your wife! please come home, and I will help you…. good luck!
Written by jude about 2 years ago.

its so immature of him to be jealous of a sick boy, its just his flimsy excuse so he can justify his cheating on u. but when someone cheats on u, lies to u, it is time to get some self worth and end things with this man. stop chasing a man who is with someone else, or u will even loose the one thing u have left, your dignity. i would not even let this man know u are hurt, if he chose her over u, means he doesn’t value u at all. never chase after a man who has left u for someone else as u will never again feel the same about him again. right now your torn and want him back at any cost, but why give up your dignity for a man who didn’t pick u over another.
Written by ouragon about 2 years ago.

I’m very competitve and I don’t like to lose. Once I fought for a man who was having an affair. Five minutes after he came back and she was out of the picture, I realized I hadn’t won anything.

If you got your husband back, what would you have? He doesn’t sound like a prize to me.

If you can, you might want to get some therapy. Your thinking is messed up about your son and sleeping with your husband when he was using, and missing him so much now when he betrayed you. Get mad, not sad. It’ll serve you much better.
Written by sunshine97 about 2 years ago.

My personal option is No don’t fight. If he wanted it you wouldn’t have to fight for it. Sometimes it’s better to cut your loses and move on then fight for something that isn’t meant too be.
Written by iyamacog about 2 years ago.

You cant be serious. I hope simply putting it all down as you just did makes you realize he is NOT worth fighting for. You are definitely not alone. You have two children, who ARE worth fighting for. That’s more than enough of a battle in my opinion. They will take all of your attention, time, and love. Please don’t waste any energy on him. You don’t need another child. Let the whore take care of him. Ensure that he continues to provide financial support for your children. With that alone, she will soon lose interest in him. He’ll probably come crawling back. And at that time, PLEASE lock your door!
Written by Denise D about 2 years ago.

I feel for you because I have been there. My ex husband and I split well over a year ago and I thought for sure that I was going to die without him. Then I realized that I was better than that and it took everything I had but I quit calling and texting and moved on without him and all and all it was the best thing that I ever did was let him go. I know how hard and lonely it gets but once they decide to cheat they will always cheat. My ex was hooked on drugs alcohol and the other woman. My life couldn’t be better now after coming to the conculsion that I was better off without him. Once I got past the pain and started seeing other people I met the most amazing guy ever that is so different that sometimes still wonder what I did that was so great to deserve someone so great. Things do get easier with time so don’t rush it concentrate on your kids and you. Pick yourself up and let him be the one to chase you cause one day you will get the pleasure of saying no leave me alone. What I learned is that you really can’t make someone love you and don’t ever chase the one that you love cause you may not end up with the one that truly loves you.
Written by Russell C about 2 years ago.

Your story is so painful just to read. I can hardly begin to imagine what it must be like to live what you describe.
I can well understand how you are moved to ask the advice of strangers.
It is better though that you seek the advise of people who are experienced and trained and have the resources to advise and help.
I do feel for you.
Written by Riley about 2 years ago.

1. You can’t be upset with him for having a relationship while you’ve hooked up with two guys in the meantime. The only difference is that what you did was slutty and what he’s doing is starting to build a relationship with someone else.

2. Leave it up to your daughter. Don’t make her life a pain because yours isn’t where it should be.

3. Move on. If you both are sleeping around, neither of you want each other enough to stay committed. Find someone else. And you’ll always have feelings for him because he’s your daughters father. That will never change. Just move on.

4. He isn’t any more bad than you in the sense while he was in a hard time, you cheated on him…. twice…. esp. with ex’s.
Written by Jade M about 2 years ago.

I’m sorry for your pain. I think you need to let him go and move on with your life. I know that’s easier said than done, but you can do it.

Unless he is a threat to her, you have no right to keep him from seeing his daughter. I know you are hurting and you want him to hurt too, but it is really wrong to use your child as a pawn. It’s not fair to your daughter.

How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

Do I fight for my husband now that he is seeing a married woman?

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