How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

I just got one of those new fountains from hammack and schleimer and have NO idea what to put in it. I need a good recipe for my son’s 1st birthday party. (NO PULP)
No recipes with ice cream because I don’t think the fountain can have ice cream in it because it will clog up.

I have been “married” for 16 years, I never loved this man, I hardly had sex with him after signing the “marriage license”, I was pregnant when we signed it.
After leaving him and comming back trying to make the situation worked for several ocasions, the only affected has been my teenager son.
Now, that I had spent all my savings trying to save, house, cars, bills, and even him from jail for having 3 dui’s and suspended Drivers license, he is treating us worst and worst and worst. I have no means to get divorce, since I am unemployed ( he is too)
We hate each other and I notice that he does not love my son, he never never never never talk to him, just mumbres Hi and bye.
He is his son, but neighbors and classmates think that my son has a step-father because the way he treats him: he ignores his son completely, unless he wants some of what my son is eating, my husband even dares to ask for it).
please help me
I am desperate, he stole my life because of my weakeness, my compassion towards him, my stupidity, my fears,
please let me know if there is a posibility
thank you

She left 3 times to be with him. Now she’s homeless, drunk, and stupid. She called to say she’d kill me if I took him(my grandson) away. Is there anyone besides Welfare associates that can help me get custody? He is in danger if he goes back. I want him to stay with me and be safe and happy. Does anyone have a friend with legal advice that won’t cost me a million dollars? Just tell me what court house to go to , (not Dover, Maine) to file a motion for custody. thank you ( a worried Nana)

he has made it clear that just because he is going to see the beautiful face of our child (who is due in 2 weeks) that it is not going to change his views on alcohol. we don’t even sleep in the same room anymore because I lay awake every night crying about his attitude and the person he becomes when he is drinking…he says that if i can’t shut up and let him get some sleep before work, then to sleep in the living room, which is what I have started doing without him even saying anything anymore. I convince myself before I allow him to drink that it is going to be different on this particular night, but it never is. So I am aware that I am enabling him. However, I don’t work, so it’s not really my place to say what he can spend his money on. He supports me financially, because I have not been able to work throughout my entire pregnancy due to medical problems (extreme dehydration among other things). What can i do to get him to realize what he is doing is wrong? I can’t take the stress, it makes my blood pressure sky-rocket. and yes, i have tried talking to him, but he admits he is selfish but still doesn’t quit. He is always using the child against me saying “I paid for everything for him and all you have done is complain throughout this whole pregnancy, I’m the only one who has had to sacrifice anything” yet he claims that our child is his life. He just doesn’t act like this child is his life. I can’t exactly leave him, i am new to this area, i don’t know anyone yet except my doctor, and all my family lives a few hundred miles away at least. I can’t financially support myself and a baby right now until i can get my job back after i have the baby. please help?

i’m sorry know i am in the pregnancy section and this isn’t really a pregnancy question, but I am in this section a lot and i feel most comfortable with asking in this section.
wow…the mess i got myself into? my boyfriend and i were together for 2 years before we even started trying to have a baby. we both wanted this child. idiot
and just to be clear, the alcoholism didn’t start until i finally did get pregnant.
April- thank you for not attacking me. for the record, yes, I have a bachelor’s degree and My previous job is still secured for when I am able to return to the workplace. Your line > “The best thing to do is plan. Do not plan on him supporting you.” makes a lot of sense. I need to make a plan

I am providing the Rehearsal Dinner for my son’s wedding which will be about 25 people. Several guests are heavy drinkers, and I do not want to be responsible for their alcoholic consumption.

My son’s father did a DNA and it come up that he was not the father, but he was the ONLY one that I was with for almost 2 months. He is an alcoholic and a chain smoker. I want wondering if he found a way to make the results come back as he was NOT the father?

My sons dad is an alcoholic and doesn’t have a place to live. I don’t allow him in my place because of his drinking. He has court ordered visitation. Could I get in trouble for breaking that? Because if something happens to my son because of him I could get in trouble.

His wife and I have talked to him so many times about not drinking and driving with our son. But every Sunday when he brings my son home I smell the beer. Of course he gets so mad if I say anything, but I can’t imagine what pain this man could bring to all of us. I did tell my son, who is only 7 not to ride with daddy after he has had beer. I know that may not have been the best thing to do. But my son knows his dad drinks ALOT. He asks all the time why he drinks so much, I just told him I didn’t know and just try not to ride with him. I know I could go pick him up, but that will not solve everything. Anything could happen, even when he is not driving. Do I need a lawyer? How Do I maybe get supervised visitation? He is a ok dad other than being so blind about his drinking. Thank you

My mother is an alcoholic. She refuses to admit she has a problem and she storms out of the room with anger every time I want to talk about her problem. She refuses to get any help. She says, “I am the mother and you are the son, I tell you what to do, not the other way around”
I just don’t know where to turn. My dad won’t help, my parent’s are divorced and he won’t get involved, nor will any other family. If she’s not willing to get help for herself, is there anything at all I can do?

This is hard, my daughter is an alcoholic as is her so called husband. My daughters oldest child is 15 from a previous relationship and then there is my little guy who is 7 and the child of her husband. Both are alcoholic and abusive, verbally and physically to each other and now to my dear granddaughter. She has been removed from the home, is a ward of the state but the little one is still in the home. I moved back here 6 years ago as I knew things werent good so I am so close to the kids and have tried to support my daughter until she turned on my granddaughter. Social Services has finally gotten it together and has allow my granddaughter father to be involved. He is a great guy, has always paid child support but it never got to the child. My daughter just lost her job she has had at the bank for 8 years and denies everything, things they are great parents. I am losing my mind about the my grandson still being in that house alone w/those two.The system has failed up to now!

We have no formal or court ordered custody agreement, only a child support judgement. I have decided that until his father gets professional help for his alcoholism, that I will not allow him to take him from where we live, back to his home. He can only come here and visit with him. If he pursues this in court, do I have a right to request he have only be allowed visitation in my son’s primary home (mine). It doesn’t necessarily have to be supervised, just away from the alcohol. Aside from his alcoholism, he and I are probably as close as people can be without being together. We both love our son very much, and care for eachother very deeply. I have no problem with him being in my home, thats not the issue, I just don’t want his son growing up around a drunk. I don’t want him to have a lifetime of dissapointments because his father can’t get his act together. He hasn’t been a threat as of yet, but who knows…it can only get worse if he doesn’t get professional help.
I have physical and pretty much legal custody of my son. His father is an alcoholic and wont to go to rehab..?
We have no formal or court ordered custody agreement, only a child support judgement. I have decided that until his father gets professional help for his alcoholism, that I will not allow him to take him from where we live, back to his home. He can only come here and visit with him. If he pursues this in court, do I have a right to request he have only be allowed visitation in my son’s primary home (mine). It doesn’t necessarily have to be supervised, just away from the alcohol. Aside from his alcoholism, he and I are probably as close as people can be without being together. We both love our son very much, and care for eachother very deeply. I have no problem with him being in my home, thats not the issue, I just don’t want his son growing up around a drunk. I don’t want him to have a lifetime of dissapointments because his father can’t

It’s complicated so please bear with me. My wife agrees her dad is an alcoholic. She knows he was absent in her life growing up, and caused a lot of hurt and pain for her because she knew the drinking always came first – not her.

He pretty much always has a beer in hand, never completely trashed (around us at least). Her dads girlfriend recently made a comment about making this year more about family.

This concerned me, I found myself thinking some pretty negative thoughts about how they want to leech into our lives and onto our hard work (we’ve got our lives together) and that I would just not rather have them in our life. I don’t like the fact that I think this, because I’m usually a pretty caring person, and I find myself second guessing my “hard line in the sand” because I know its her DAD and after all he is part of the family.

Up until now, our relationship has been getting a little closer than it was (her and her dad didn’t speak or even send cards for many years). This is clearly because we had a son, and I think he realizes he messed up with her and wants to makeup for it. So he has been buying our grandson gifts, and took us out to dinner a few times, had Easter at their house (which I was out of town for).To me, I would kind of like to limit it to that, and even that is pushing it. I don’t want to be unreasonable here, and I know I need to take my wifes wants/ needs into this as well but now we are running into a situation where she arranged for them to babysit for us and the whole thing is making me REALLY uncomfortable – like my wife is allowing a serpent to sneak up on our child! I know thats a horrible image, but when she told me that is seriously what I thought. His girlfriend musta been surprised my wife allowed it too, because my wife told me she made the comment “dont worry, I REALLY AM A GOOD GRANDMOTHER”. I guess my view is if you need to say something like that, then you probably aren’t! (though perhaps she is just saying that she isn’t the perpetrator of the bad behavior and trying to distancing herself from him).

My wife’s dad also recently lost his wife (to alcoholism), which may have played a part in his change, but maybe I’m just cold person but I don’t think so. I should mention that my wife seems to fool herself into believing the problems between her and her dad were caused by his wife (the one who died). So I can see how she might want to try again with him with her not there, but I think we both know deep down that, while his late wife may have been very mean to her (my wife) as a child, HER DAD was the one who made the choice to not put a priority on his daughter (my wife).

I am torn, because it would be nice if they wanted to be in our life, but I do not want them in our life on THEIR terms of current lifestyle. And I DON’T want for my son to be negatively impacted by this – in any way shape or form AT ALL. My wife and I also agree that these is little to zero chance that her dad will change. I wish my wife were stronger, But I KNOW that she will not confront him about his drinking problem, for whatever reason she is scared. I think its because she knows that if forced to pick between us (HER) and the bottle, he will choose the bottle – and that would open up deep wounds from childhood for her.

So she seems content to receive them with open arms, thinking any positive change they make is good. I agree, but where we differ is that I feel like we need to set some kind of boundaries and limit our relationship with them until they change. And even if they do change, I’ve been around alcohol long enough that I know once someone is an alcoholic they can easily fall back especially when they’ve been into that lifestyle for 40+ years.

PLEASE HELP!!

What should we do? Do I need to be the ****** in this situation? Part of me says “MAN UP” and protect your son and I know that I will do that if I need to, as of now I’ve let her take charge of matters concerning her family and so have been the a nice guy around her dad and his girlfriend. However, if I do exchange words with him, I know it will probably get heated and I will wind up issuing him an ultimatum and then my wife will be mad at ME!

If it were up to me, I’d say “drop em”. Don’t need that in my life. But then again, would I be like that to my dad or mom? Probably not. So I need to be careful, I wish my wife would get the strength to see this situation for what it is, but in the meantime – what boundaries can and should be set without totally driving them out of our life? This is hard.
>>You wrote to much so I refuse to answer…..

Well PISS OFF then mate. It’s my family we’re talking about here and this could make or break it if I allow him to go with grandpa who drives drunk and kills my boy. Sorry to inconvenience you with a few paragraphs.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

You have all sorts of issues and anger here which are unrelated to these people’s abilities to grandparent/influence on your son, who will not be harmed by Grandpa being a bit beer-y. Don’t let them drive, and find something else to worry about.
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K, I can see how you would think this regarding my response to Jacks lazy, unthoughtful, non-answer. Maybe I overreacted to him, but consider that alcohol has been a problem for our family, we have put years of work into figuring out how to live with it, after having it nearly destroy our relationship (before our son). My appeal to yahoo answers may have been random, but at least I put some thought into explaining the situation so people could get as good a read on the situation as possible. Yes, Jacks answer bothered me, but please don’t mistake that for “anger unrelated to these people”.
The way I see it, they made decisions in life. They CHOSE to put themselves first and made a priority out of having fun. Even when it hurt other people. I’m sorry, but thats not the kind of behavior that one should expect out of family. To me, family means you can COUNT on them. That wouldn’t apply here, and about drinking and driving, you try taking away a drunks keys. Some will let you, some won’t.
My wifes mothers boyfriend has been there from the beginning, and is 1000X better grandpa, not to mention two great grandpas on my side (my dad and step dad). I should make it clear that if my dad or stepdad with the alcohol problem, I would step in in a heartbeat and tell them they can be a part of our family on our terms. Why is it wrong to want to protect your family from a hazard?

The father (a physician) has had recurrent bouts with severe alcoholism. He has several DUIs. Is on probation with his professional career. Disapears into his home for day and becomes so ill we wonder if he’ll survive. The son worries sick because he feels he is all his father has and he should be wih him taking care of him. The mother ( his ex-wife/my sister) found it impossible to handle and left but the son feels unconditionally bound to the problem. She feels powerless as to how to counsel her son. She does not want her son to put his life on hold and leave the job he just began as a teacher overseas. However, his father can’t seem to pull it together and is in the midst of another episode. The situation seems so grave and has ben a burden to my nephew for years!
Is it possible to make someone enter a facility against the persons will. I agree, the son would be so relieved to know his fathe rwas getting the treatment he needs. But, ho wcan he make his fatehr eneter a facility?

He needs help for medical expenses, which I have been paying for..Zoloft is $90.00/month. He needs consuling ( Icannot pay). I am 70 yrs. old and trying to live on my pension and went back to work part time to help him. Does he qualify for Medicaid? Please help me, I am at the end of my rope????.

My ex is an alcoholic..has been for years but I could never prove it..Well recently I have found somethings out that I didnt know before. Like on New Years Eve he was rushed to the hospital after passing out, spitting up blood, and then stopped breathing. When he arrived at the hospital he had a blood alcohol content of .386 (they just called it .4) Then last april I found out he was too intoxicated to take our son to the hosp. for stitches and the neighbor had to do it. The other day his new girlfriend called me at 9:30pm and started calling me names for no reason so drunk she was slurring and not making any sense. My son is very affraid of him and has told the school counselor this and that his dad drinks everyday all day. He makes 29 dollars an hour and hasnt made a house or truck pymnt in 3 months and keeps having his water shut off..what do you think my chances are of getting the supervised visits?

I am about to file for divorce & NEED to prove my husband is an alcoholic & will put our 3-year-old’s safety at risk. I know most judges will rule the alcoholic can’t drive the child or have him overnight, but I have no proof that my husband is a drunk!
He drinks at his home & doesn’t drive much. He hides vodka in his laptop bag so he can drink at work, but hasn’t been caught yet. Strangely enough, he is a brilliant IT director & very respected!
I know for a fact that he drink around the clock because he has physical withdrawals if he goes without alcohol one day. He physically can’t avoid alcohol in order to have visitation since he gets violently ill, so I know he’ll drink while caring for my son (even if the jugde orders him not to).
Since he has no DUI offenses & hasn’t lost jobs due to driking, what else can I do to prove he is an alcoholic & that he will put our son’s safety in danger?
BTW, he has driven my son while drunk…I just don’t have evidence to show the court.
I’ve thought of calling the cops when he leaves here drunk, but I doubt they will locate him while he’s on the road. They’d have to respond within seconds to catch him driving away.
I’ve also considered hiring a private investigator to track him & get proof, but doubt I can afford it.
Wow, there are some very angry people attacking me! He wasn’t an alcoholic when I met him 10 years ago. The drinking has become a problem the last 2 years.
The reason I am divorcing him is so MY SON won’t have to suffer life with his alcoholic father in the home. I also can’t stop my husband from driving him while drunk!
How dare anyone say I’m the one who is hurting my child. Divorce is incredibly painful for all of us, but in the end I have to protect my child!

He has lost 2 jobs, he has seperated from his family, he needs help and will not listen to me…HELP!

Just wondering if I am in the wrong here. My husband and I are expecting a baby, I am due in three months. Well I’m feeling concerned about how his mother is going to be once the baby is born. We need to set some serious boundaries, but I want to know if I am going too far?

To give you a little background, my MIL has a serious problem with alcohol, she has been an alcoholic since my husband was a baby. When my husband was young she was verbally abusive and he was even taken away from her to live in foster care for a period of time. And now, she is drunk every single night. She has come to our house completely unannounced when she is drunk, and every time it has happened it is always late at night, around 10-11 pm. Completely unacceptable. My husband and I have been together for 8 years and have been married for 3. This entire time she has either acted like I don’t exist when I am in the same room with her, or has said horrible things about me behind my back. But now that we have a baby on the way, she is finally wanting to get to know me. The problem is, I would rather just have a polite relationship where we are civil when we do see each other, but I really don’t want to get close to her because I have seen how she treats her son and other members of their family. She is very manipulative and delusional about reality (I am guessing due to her little drinking problem) and throws a fit if she can’t have her way. I have no idea how my husband turned out so normal.

These are the guidelines I am going to put in place when my son is born.. do these seem reasonable?

1. She will not be allowed to watch our son alone when he is at least a baby/toddler because I do not trust that she will keep him safe or that she will stay sober while he is with her.

2. She can come over to our house and visit my son as much as she wants DURING THE DAYTIME if she calls ahead and checks that we are able to have company. There will be no barging in unannounced, especially late at night.

3. We will not bring our son over to her house, even if we will be there with him, because it REEKS of smoke and is completely filthy (we are talking cat poop smashed into the carpets that she never cleans up and a thick layer of cat fur covering EVERYTHING).