Can my Sister Re-Gain Custody of my Nephew from Me?

14/08/2010 admin 11 comments

5 years ago, my sister’s son was taken from her after a very bad drug binge. I was granted custody of him, which was a dream come true seeing as I had a hysterectomy when I was 22 and, was never able to have the family I dreamed of, especially after my husband left me when I could not have children. My sister has been and, in my eyes will always be an addict.

Although, I have remained estranged from her for the last 5 years she has begun to try and wedge her way back into our lives, citing that she has cleaned herself up. I know it’s all lies, all the lying and stealing she did to me proves she never really cared for me or her son. I gave her numerous chances and, she blew them all.

Now she is trying to regain custody of her former son and, I don’t want her to. He is my son now and, my miracle. I would rather drive the heroin needle into her arm myself then hand my 6 year old back over to her. I’ve begun the process to legally adopt him, in order to stop her but, is she a serious contender to get custody back?? I’m worried, I want her to have no part in our lives.

ALCOHOLISM TREATMENT custody, from, nephew, ReGain, sister

Comments

Written by Leslie about 2 years ago.

It sounds unlikely that your sister would be able to regain custody. Considering the circumstances, if she really does try, she will be very closely evaluated before they give her custody. That being said, what you are saying is pretty horrible. Regardless of the situation with your son, an addict always needs support from family. And if you truly do love your son, why would you not want to at least try to facilitate some sort of a healthy relationship between him and his mother? It’s about your son, not you.
Written by ღ†Rocker Wife†ღ about 2 years ago.

I’m curious as to why you didn’t file for adoption years ago instead of recently. Had you done that, this wouldn’t even be an issue.

Since he has been in your care for 5 years, chances are good it will remain that way. Children aren’t ping pongs and the judge will recognize that for all intents and purposes, you have been this boy’s mother for 5 of his 6 years of living. It would be traumatic to him to be removed from your custody at this point.

Even if she got her act together now, the damage has already been done to her relationship with your nephew.

Unfortunately, until her parental rights have been relinquished by a judge there’s always the possibility of her getting him back. So now that you’ve finally decided to pursue adoption after all these years it’s important that you see the process through. If you don’t have a GOOD lawyer, get one. If she’s determined to get her son back AND she’s genuinely cleaned up her act, there will be a fight there… but it doesn’t mean that you’ll be the loser.

Good luck.
Written by TORRIE about 2 years ago.

First of all…that’s your nephew, not your son. If you would’ve went through the adoption process years ago, maybe he would be your son. Question: would you have told him that your sister is his birthmother or would you have kept it a secret?? Second, that’s your sister…she’s your blood.. & people do change. Family needs to stick together, be there for one another regardless of what they are doing. Instead of you saying that you would rather shoot a needle in her arm than letting her get her child back. That’s no way to talk. I believe that If she really is clean & got her act together, the courts will give her child back.
Written by Ernie about 2 years ago.

Chances are you will maintain custody of your nephew/son. Once an addict, always an addict. Yes, your sister CAN change but, the temptation will always be there. You’re doing the right thing. Courts often favor reunification but, if you get a good enough lawyer and, are able to play on people’s emotions, your sister won’t stand a chance against you in court.
Written by Mark B about 2 years ago.

I have found that it is most easy to get the children back when you have lost them due to drug use, so that side of it if she is clean and is actually passing the drug test’s then yes she can.

I think that you left it a little late to start the adoption things as if that had gone though then she would have no chance of getting the child back ever but as it has not yet happened she can stop you from even from being able to adopt the child as i would think that she will need to give consent to it and would also have a cooling off time too. so sorry but looks like your out of luck with it at this stage

get a lawyer and find out for shore as to what the rules are in your area they will be better able to tell you

Good luck
Written by Pip about 2 years ago.

With a sister like you who needs enemies.

Firstly on a positive note yes you did the right thing taking your nephew in BUT unless you formally adopted he is still your nephew NOT your son. Don’t confuse the two. However you are coming across as selfish to a certain extent as you’re making this about you not your nephew who is the most important one here.

I don’t know you or your sister and whilst I am 100% behind you raising your nehew as it was far better for him to be with a family member. On the other hand people can and do change their ways so I think you’re being very believing she will never change her ways. You may be right that she is lying about changing, you know her I don’t. All I will point out is she could change and it may be happening now.

A few years ago, when my dh and I were living in the north of England, we got involved in a project called the Columba Project. It helps with the rehabilitation of alcoholics and drug addicts and have a very good success rate. It doesn’t stop there they help these people with continuing support and helping them find accomodation.

We got involved as we found out charity shops in our local area were dumping good quality furniture that they couldn’t sell. These shops allowed us to take the furniture for free to help the project. The people who run the project went to the same church as us so knew my connection to adoption – mother who was coerced into surrendering. Although my situation was different there were mothers who had lost their children to adoption due to their lifestyles which inluded prostitution to find their drugs and/or alcohol. I don’t expect you to believe me but these ladies had changed their lives around and I could see with my own eyes as I spent many hours talking with them. They changed because they wanted to and also because they knew there was a chance they could reunite with their children when they were old enough. None of them wanted to be found living the lives they had been living, they wanted to prove they could change.
Written by De about 2 years ago.

I feel the same way about my adopted children as I have had them from birth. Now with that being said, lets take a step back and say if your sister has cleaned her self up and off drugs ETC great!! Lets be happy for her. Part of staying sober for her is going to be to make amends to those she hurt and that will definitely be you and your son.
Allowing her back in on your terms might stop her from starting a gut wrenching custody battle that she probably won’t win but would be very emotional for all concerned.
At some point all adopted children will have some questions about the birth parents. I admit that is scarey for me. My 6 year old ask to see a picture of his and I showed him and he ask to meet them and I said when you are little older. His birth parents are not in my extended family, so I don’t have to worry about this happening right now but I know one day he may want to know them and may have a relationship with him. Does your son know he is adopted? If he does, I would maybe have your sister over for a outside Bar B Q on afternoon and start getting to know her again and let her see how happy your son is. I am not saying let her take him for the week end or nothing but limited visitation where you are there. But do talk to a lawyer and make sure everything is okay. Unless of course you formally adopted him then you have no worries about her taking him back. Done deal. You sister can play the role of the Aunt. If she truely loves the boy she will not want to react havoc on his life with a custody fight. Most birth Moms want to know their kids are okay and doing well
Written by Lady Rowan about 2 years ago.

He’s HER son, and if she’s cleaned herself up and able to be a mother, then she deserves that chance! You are a horrible person to be talking about your sister in that way.

You’d rather put the needle in her yourself! you are sick!

I hope she gets HER child back. What a selfish twit. I cannot believe you are on here speaking about your sister like this! no wonder she’s an addict! she gets no emotional support from her own sister, and you are trying to take her child from her! My sister is an addict and I would NEVER speak about her in such a way. I would BE THERE for her. Or is that a concept lost on you?
Written by Raven about 2 years ago.

We’ve answered this before but here we go again troll,

If she can PROVE in the COURT OF LAW that she is FIT to care for HER son than yes she should be able to regain custody of HER SON.

Who’d give their own SISTER durgs???
Written by Just a Mom about 2 years ago.

Annabelle is my girl so if she says you are a troll, I beleive it.
Written by cricketlady about 2 years ago.

Yes she certainly can—and it does happen more often than one what think. You only have custody.
She needs to get an attorney—and she can find one for free by inquiring through any attorney. All she needs to do is prove herself in a court of law.and before that actually happens she certainly can get visitation put in place.

Of course it all depends on if she can show she has changed and is able to care for Her son again.

How Do I Get My Son Off Drugs?

Can my Sister Re-Gain Custody of my Nephew from Me?

Comments

Recent Posts

Categories

Tags