Can my husband kick our son out if both of our titles are in the house and I don’t want him to? HELP!!!!?

05/03/2011 admin 7 comments

Ok so let me start off by saying I am a mother of 5 boys (only 3 live at home now) and my husband is starting to become a heavy alcoholic. I had a hip replacement on November 1st and now my world is falling apart because of this self centered jerk that I married. My oldest son that lives at home is 19 years old and was just discharged 3/4 of the way through Marine Boot Camp because he tore his rotator cuff. He has been actively seeking employment but there are NO jobs around here. He has given me money for rent (even though I told him it wasn’t necessary) and has been there for me 24/7 taking care of the other kids and me while my husband pisses his life away. My husband had medical problems a few years back and went on unemployment/disability after 32 years of working for our local city. Since then he has taken up drinking (getting much worse), smoking, gambling (which he is lying about but I’ve been finding receipts), and a ‘part time’ job where he’s gone from 6am-6pm (doesn’t help at all with our kids…only my 19 year old does).

Last night my 22 year old and him got in it, and he started throwing dishes and breaking things. My 22 year old (like my husband) has always had anger problems so I just told him to leave for now. My 19 year old called the police but hung up when my 22 year old left and my husband went outside. My husband came inside got in my face and started screaming at me and even shoved me (I almost fell when here I just had a hip replacement). My 19 year old saw this and pinned his dad against the wall and said “You can f*cking yell at me all you want like a Drill Instructor, but you will NOT lay a finger on anyone here. I was in boot camp long enough to learn how to fight and unless you wanna pick yourself up off the floor, you better back the f*ck off!” My husband stormed off, and later came in the house and said we are kicking our son out tomorrow or he’s calling the police and having him removed. Can he do that if my son is the only one taking care of me and my kids? I agreed that next time it got that I want him to have the police come and arrest my husband.

I don’t know what to do. I am an emotional wreck and I can tell that this situation is pushing my 19 year old to the edge because he can’t even focus on getting his shoulder fixed so he can re-enlist. What do I do if my husband tries kicking out my 19 year old?

LAST QUESTION- If I divorced him, would I be able to keep the house if MY dad (who is very wealthy) took over the payments until I can get back to work and help pay???
We live in Iowa if that makes any difference.

QUESTIONS ABOUT SON'S ALCOHOLISM both, don't, Help, house, husband, kick, titles, want

Comments

Written by mummy2jj about 1 year ago.

i think you need to sit down and talk with your husband about his problems…. he should not be pushing you around nor anyone else…… he needs to realize what he is doing to you and how much he is negatively impacting your life with his downward spiral. i see in your note about divorcing him.. if you are considering that already and not being a rushed and rash decision then honestly you shouldn’t be there.
to be honest as well if you are going to divorce him i would think that he would tell you to rack off out of the house rather then the other way around!
in regards to your 19 yo is there somewhere else he can stay for a few days?
good luck
Written by Germy about 1 year ago.

Your husband is an asshole and they are a dime a dozen but think they’re special.
Written by Deb about 1 year ago.

Surely if the house is in both your names you can ask your husband to leave? Anyway, wishful thinking aside, you would have to buy his half, for your father to make payments. Will the husband leave? Your son is such a good lad and you need to protect him from the drunk, doesn’t sound much of a father to me. Stand your ground, but perhaps packing up the kids and moving to a safer place might be best. It is better to be in a refuge than watch your son fight a prison term.
Written by Kathy about 1 year ago.

You will need to consult an attorney to find out for certain if your husband can kick your son out of the house. For the immediate future, you can call a police substation and ask if they will force him out based only on your husband’s complaint. However, let your husband know that if he calls the police and he is belligerent when they arrive, he could be the one getting arrested. Now for the important issue: NEXT TIME!? Why would you wait for your husband to become physically abusive before you call the police? I do not recommend that you get a divorce, but you may need to if he continues to abuse you. And he will! The only thing that will stop him at this point is your 19 year old son. If your husband is lying about gambling, he is probably addicted. It sounds like he is either an alcoholic or on the way to becoming one. So far, I see that he is an angry, lying, gambling, alcoholic, abuser. I’m sure he has some good points, but they are being buried under his current personality. If you think he is beyond counseling, get an attorney now. Under his present circumstances, your husband probably will not be able to afford the house, so you might be able to get it. You would either buy out his share, or pay him half (or whatever is agreed on) when you finally sell it. I wish you well. I also wish the best to your son. He sounds like a fine young man, and the Marines can certainly use him.
Written by Ashley Gates about 1 year ago.

tell your husband to hit the bricks, because its YOU and your children or NONE of you
Written by Saya about 1 year ago.

Divorce him and fight it in court with a lawyer.
Written by beenthere about 1 year ago.

Since it is the weekend, I am going to suggest that you contact your local women’s crisis center and ask to speak to a counselor. She/he will be able to explain the domestic violence laws in Iowa and whether or not your husband can have your adult son(s) removed from the home. I would bring up his shoving you after hip replacement surgery.

It sounds like your 19 year old son has had enough of his father’s abusive behavior and is not going to tolerate him abusing and/or assaulting anyone in your household. He has to be careful he doesn’t end up in jail due to domestic violence. He can not injure his father or use a dangerous weapon or he will be arrested on the spot and thrown into jail. Even if he is defending you.

You have some financial protection to do if your husband is gambling. You need to make sure that he can not run up credit card advances, access bank accounts through ATMs and checks written at the casinos, and wipe out investment and retirement funds. You also have to prevent him from taking out loans that you are also responsible for. GAM-ANON can help you with this. Look up Gamblers Anonymous and GAM-ANON web sites.

I am so sorry you have to deal with this so soon after hip replacement. Please take care of yourself.

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Can my husband kick our son out if both of our titles are in the house and I don’t want him to? HELP!!!!?

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