Am I being too judgemental about my cousin drinking with her new baby?

05/11/2010 admin 10 comments

OK I have a one year old son. My ex-best pal is also my cousin and she followed in my footsteps and now has a baby. She has been getting drunk often, and her son is 3 months old. I think its just sick and that this poor kid is going to be raised by alcoholics (long history of drinking by mom and dad) Also she was drunk the whole first month and a half of being pregnant but did quit temporarily while pregnant the rest of the time. Am I being too judgemental by thinking she’s a horrible parent. I don’t think so, but not sure as I tend to be too judgemental.
CPS will not remove the child, and I do not want to deal with her drunken a$$, I also am not going to allow her around my own son. Just wondering if I sound too judgemental. Yes both parents drink in front of baby, and there is usually someone sober around while they do it. So this is mainly a moral issue rather than needing advice on what to do. I am a trained social worker with a degree, so I have the other side covered. Just wondering on a personal note if I am being too judgemental. Thanks

ALCOHOLISM TREATMENT about, baby, being, cousin, drinking, judgemental

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Written by joseph7_28636 about 2 years ago.

After seeing kids while I was growing up who had alcoholic parents I have to say NO, you are NOT being too judgmental and if you can, get child protective services to step in and save that kid.
Written by karina b about 2 years ago.

no not at all please dont let her do this to herself let alone the baby he doesnt know any better so try to get her help if not atleast try to help the baby ater all he doesnt have the fault of his mother good luck
Written by Patsy A about 2 years ago.

If the drinking is endangering the baby, then it is your responsiblity to call protective services. If she is getting proper childcare while mom is out, and not neglected while she’s home, there’s not much you can do, especially since you describe her as your ex-friend. Maybe you can swallow your pride long enough to build some bridges with this cousin so you can watch out for her baby.
Written by Still Waiting about 2 years ago.

Judgemental? Maybe. Concerned? You should be.

If she was a party girl before, she probably is going through a party girl phase after. I went through the same thing, and started drinking alot after my daughter was born (I turned 21 a month after she was born). Give a while to work itself out. As long as she isn’t putting her baby in danger, I would just step back and observe. But if she is, I would step in and offer her help. Good luck!
Written by precious about 2 years ago.

no, and that’s very pathetic of your cousin to do this to her son. if she doesn’t stop with the drinking you may need to have the child removed from her care until she gets treatment. i know you may not want that to happen but look the child is the one suffering at this time, not your cousin. maybe she will wake up and realize that her son needs her once treatment is complete. the child needs a stable mother. you may need to call the children of family services and get your cousin the help she needs to be a mother. good luck.
Written by . about 2 years ago.

If her drinking is endangering the baby then you are not being too judgemental. If she is ever drunk around her baby then she is a douche bag.

It’s one thing to get a baby sitter once a month or so and go out and have a few drinks. There is nothing wrong with that, especially if she is a young girl. But being drunk all of the time, especially in the presence of her baby is disgusting.
Written by Karen K about 2 years ago.

It sounds to me like she wasn’t ready for the responsibility of motherhood, sadly her child will know this in the future and probably resent her for it.

I know you feel as though you want to do the right thing, but most people don’t know how to take constructive criticism, so I recommend mentioning your concerns to her mother or parenting partner.
Written by Sarah J about 2 years ago.

it’s one thing to have a glass of wine after your baby goes down for the night…it’s a completely different thing to get trashed. you’re not being too judgemental in this case.

if i were you, i would call the cops one night while she is drunk and the baby is present…just say that you’re worried for the safety of the child…if the cops get involved, cps will be more likely to do something about it
Written by eve about 2 years ago.

alcoholism and parenting definitely don’t mix. at all. it’s not about whether they are drinking “in front” of their baby. It’s about them drinking while they are supposedly responsible for the baby. I would look into an intervention
Written by Nameless about 2 years ago.

She’s a bad parent and she should have her child taken away.

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Am I being too judgemental about my cousin drinking with her new baby?

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