My wife and I have a fantastic life together. We have a wonderful son and she is the most amazing mum. I am so blessed to have them in my life. The problem I have is that my wife’s father is a border line alcoholic and he is starting to cause issues in our life. Most days he drinks 10-15 cans of beer followed by a couple glasses of spirits or port – more on the weekends. He is a retired war veteran on a disability pension due to an injury to his hearing in Vietnam.
The problem I have is that since our son was born last year he is in our lives more regularly now and it is causing issues between me and my wife. I know her Dad is well meaning, but there have been several times he has done things that I consider dangerous. Here’s a few examaples:
After his 10-15 beers he will want to nurse our son. I am not happy about this because I’m concerned that because he is under the influence of alcohol he might drop our son or unintentionally injure him.
We have an old dog that spends most of the time in our garage now, so that he is comfortable and safe. When my father-in-law visits he constantly leaves the garage door open. Generally our dog will stay at home, but I have found him wandering around on the front yard or across the street. We are only two blocks from a major road.
He will regularly fall asleep at night after drinking and leave doors unlocked. I try to make sure all the doors are locked before I go to bed, but he will get up in the night for a “nip of something” and go for a wander in the back yard and then forget to re-lock the doors when he comes in.
If he suggests an idea to us, he will automatically assume we agree and then put that plan into action – generally meaning I will have to pay for something I didn’t want in the first place. We’re on one income now and can’t afford to spend money frivelously.
He will feed our son food that we have specifically asked him not to because he thinks “it’ll be alright, the little fella needs to try everything”. Things like peanut butter or fish (I am alergic to fish and seafood so there’s a possability our son might be too)
The problem is that my wife won’t let me say anything to her father and is reluctant to say anything to him because he is so blase’ about most things in life. As a result there is now tension between my wife and I.
I don’t dislike her father at all, I just want him to respect our wishes and our property.

Any ideas on how to handle this?