look, you need to understand that you have the opportunity to live. some people dont get to live as long as you have so far. I have lost 2 children and I can say that you are lucky to have your life so stop ruining it. Your slowly killing yourself.

These drugs will stop you from having the things that most people want. A healthy and loving relationship with your family, getting married, having children, gettin a good job to support that family…

It is never too late to quit. If you know in your heart that you really want to stop, then you will. Try to do something else. Get a hobby. Pick up a guitar or maybe write some stuff down on some paper… A song, poem, thoughts, goals…. whatever….

Good Luck and I hope a helped in some small way

Although I myself am not an addict, my mother was a heroin addict for 20 years. She had the tendency to clean up for a few years and relapse as soon as things got either good or bad. In the end, the damage she did to her liver killed her, last week actually, so I know the dangers of drug use, and I know my predisposition to it.

One thing I’ve learned through the years is that nobody is beyond helping themselves. I promise you it’s possible.

My suggestion to you is to buy this book: “Broken” by William Cope Moyers.

It’s a true story/ memoir about a man who comes from a very high up family and grows up to be addicted to crack cocaine. Hopefully it will help you in your struggles. Like you, he says that he shared his body with something, deep in his soul that he could never escape. In the end his recovery has lasted 15 years so far, so maybe you can pick up some insight on how he did it.

Good luck. You have my best wishes.